


The Ghosts in the Halls

by Rydia (ungarmax)



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-05 14:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 72,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3123488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ungarmax/pseuds/Rydia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year after Sephiroth's defeat, the Planet is finally in some fragile state of peace as everyone tries to heal from the effects of Meteor.  But not all is well--Cloud receives an unwanted visitor who has no good news for him and just won't leave him alone, there's a worldwide epidemic affecting thousands, and Hojo is still on the loose.  In the midst of this, Cloud stumbles onto some information that will lead him to find someone who he thought was dead and may be able to help him save the Planet once again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my Nanowrimo 2014 project. I'm still revising the ending, but it's mostly written, so I'll be staggering the chapters for now. Special thank you to Lexy (clouds-freckles.tumblr.com) for the editing! :3
> 
> This is not canon compliant to any of the Compilation of FFVII, save the original game, and even that has two distinct differences. First, Hojo escaped Midgar instead of being killed there. The second should be pretty obvious--Zack didn't die after getting shot, but Cloud doesn't know that.
> 
> I want to note at the beginning of this fic that Cloud is a transman. It isn't relevant to the story, really, and any dysphoria he might experience isn't really included in the fic. I know there are many non-cis people out there that are uncomfortable reading stories like this, which is the only reason I included this in the beginning.
> 
> This chapter involves some misgendering by the villain of the story, all of which happened in the past.

It was always the odor that got to him first.

It wasn't even that the odor was bad, per se. It was more like a sterile hospital smell for the most part, mixed with the sickly sweet scent of Mako. The airflow in that dingy old basement was limited at best, and all the aromas produced tended to sink in and take up residence along the stone walls and wooden tables. It always smelled that way, even when the professor was gone for days and days, leaving his subjects to stagnate within the dark depths behind that hidden door.

Cloud knew where he was without even opening his eyes, and it was because of that smell. The smell, and the cold; the lab was never kept warm. The flimsy clothing the professor gave them to wear did nothing to ward it off.

He was lying on his back on something hard and scratchy that he knew was the wooden examination table, and his wrists and ankles were firmly clasped in iron bands built into the table itself. He didn't have to open his eyes. There was only one place he _could_ be.

He was in Hojo's lab again, and he didn't know why.

When he finally opened his eyes, the professor was hovering above him with a large needle filled with a green liquid that gave off a slight glow. His face was partially covered by a face mask. Even in front of the bright lights hanging above the exam table, Cloud had no problem making out the details of the professor's face.

He panicked. “No! No, no, no, no, don't, please, no!” he howled, struggling against his bonds. He knew he wouldn't get free; Zack had broken an entire table shortly after they'd been taken here, and Hojo had taken the opportunity to replace it with something much stronger.

The professor, of course, ignored him. He flicked the needle with a gloved finger. “Anderson, hold her shoulders down,” he said flatly. “We can't have her thrashing around like this.”

So, the thugs were here too. Cloud whipped his head back as far as he could, looking around for the other people aiding Hojo. He found the worried looking face that he knew well. He remembered biting this guy's arm hard enough that he needed stitches. The asshole had every reason to be worried, as far as Cloud was concerned. He poured as much hatred and vitriol into his glare as he could, trying to stare the thug down. It wouldn't work, but it'd make him feel better for the moment.

“She bites,” Anderson said, sounding worried as he unconsciously rubbed his arm over the scar that perfectly matched Cloud's teeth.

“And I keep Shinra from tossing you in prison, where trash like you belongs,” Hojo pointed out irately. “Hold her down.”

There was a good deal of reluctance on the thug's part, but he settled for pressing one hand down on Cloud's neck to keep him from biting (and preventing him from taking in an adequate amount of air) and one on the shoulder of the arm Hojo wanted to make the injection in. Hojo seemed annoyed, but he had what he wanted.

Cloud's pleading reached a fever pitch between gasps, his chest heaving in terror and anticipation of what that injection was going to bring him. He didn't stop struggling as the needle entered his arm or when Hojo pressed down the plunger.

Then he could feel the fire burning through his veins, traveling through his arm and then into chest. He closed his eyes, hissing at the agony ripping through him. Then, blessedly, the darkness closed in entirely, and he felt himself lose consciousness.

\--

It was only for a moment, though.

Cloud opened his eyes again, and he was still in the lab, still on his back on the table, staring up at the too-bright lights. There was no pain now, and he didn't see Hojo or his lackey. In fact, he wasn't even bound anymore. He sat up slowly, but there was no reason for caution; his body seemed perfectly normal, and nobody came running to see what was going on.

He looked around in confusion, at the books lining the far wall (the broken shelf where Zack had thrown one of the thugs before they realized how strong he was), at the shelves of vials and test tubes and corked potions and jars filled with strange things, at the two giant glass cylinders where they underwent the Mako showers and other treatments.

Everything was there, right where it was supposed to be, but there was no professor. There were no bindings. He was free.

He began to climb off of the table.

“Are your dreams always this violent?” someone asked.

The voice was feminine, but that barely had time to register before Cloud was whipping his head toward the entrance behind him (stupid, should have checked that first) and fumbling for a weapon that was, of course, not there.

She was small, with a round, cherubic face framed by her short, gray hair. Her skin was pale and her eyes an eerie shade of violet. Her clothes were fairly generic: a simple, white dress that went down to her ankles, and sandals and a belt both made of leather. She stood in the entrance, one hand on her hip as she studied him and waited for his reply.

Cloud sputtered. “What?” he asked.

“Oh, I haven't been watching or anything!” she replied, holding up her hands in a placating gesture. “That would be incredibly rude. I just got here and saw that last bit before I could stop it.”

“I'm not--am I asleep?” Cloud asked, completely bewildered. “No, fuck that, forget it. Who are you? Where's my stuff? I'm getting out of here.”

“Oh, how stupid of me. My name is Lillith,” she replied, as though he wasn't flipping his shit right in front of her. “I'm a dreamwalker. You are asleep, and you're not in any danger. That man wasn't real. He's just a figment of your imagination.”

“He _is_ real,” he snapped. “This isn't a fucking dream, it's a memory. A very personal one. And if I'm sleeping, that means I can manipulate the environment however I want, right?”

“Well--”

“And I want you gone. Goodbye.”

The door slammed shut in her face. When Cloud turned around, the back of the room had disintegrated into a black nothingness. He didn't care. He stepped through the hole into the void, and he did not look back.

\--

Cloud woke up very suddenly, the sheets tangled around him and a slick sheen of sweat covering his body. Outside, there was a flash of lightning, followed shortly by a crash of thunder that made him jump, and rain pounded against the single window.

Sighing, he disentangled himself from his sheets and tossed them into the laundry hamper. In all the weird, shitty nightmares he had, this one was definitely somewhere within the top ten. That figure was new. What had she said? She was Lillith, and she was a dreamwalker. Whatever that meant.

Grunting, Cloud wandered out across the hallway outside of his bedroom and into the bathroom. He didn't even bother with a full shower, just turning the water on holy-shit-that's-cold and rinsed off. There was a bathrobe hanging on the door that he didn't recognize (he made a mental note to thank Tifa for it later, since she was the only other person with a key to his apartment), but the weather was unbearably hot, so he just dried off and slipped on a pair of boxers and a tank top before heading to the kitchen. It was never too hot for coffee, as far as he was concerned.

The time on the microwave clock said 3:27 AM. Ugh. It was way too early to get up, but he didn't feel like going back to sleep after that stupid weirdness. Next thing he knew, he'd be dreaming about Zack again, and that was something he did not need.

There wasn't really space in the tiny apartment for any sort of real work out, but the living room had floor space for stretching, at least. The weather was too shitty to go for a run, and he didn't like running in Midgar anyway, especially at three in the morning.

There had been a time during the clean up after Meteor where they had debated bothering to rebuild the city. But in the end, Reeve had had a good point: not only was Midgar a lot of people's home, it was also a symbol. Before, it had been a symbol of corruption, and he wanted to make it instead a symbol of change. He wanted to rebuild his beloved city, but he also wanted to make it better. It wouldn't be easy; with Rufus Shinra dead, Reeve had inherited a broken corporation that nobody really trusted anymore.

And now, just a year after Sephiroth and Jenova's final defeat, he had already begun. The plate supports in the slums had been strengthened (except in Sector 7, where he was working on erecting a memorial for all the lives lost when the old Shinra had used it as an example), and the trains were set to run on both levels, so that people could move around as they pleased. Most of what had rested on the upper plate had been completely destroyed, and so, with the debris cleared away, housing developments were going up. The people had a goal, and they were content to work toward it.

The year had been beneficial to just about everyone from their little party. Reeve, of course, had won the presidency of Shinra and was constantly busy doing what he loved--helping his citizens. Barret was traveling all over the globe, prospecting for alternatives to coal and Mako power. Cid, in between supply runs between various places, was using the scrap metal from the city to construct a second airship with the eventual goal of increasing travel. Nanaki had returned to Cosmo Canyon to protect his people and study up on what else could be done to help the ailing planet. Vincent had sort of vanished from the scene and seemed to randomly show up in various locations. Yuffie was back in Wutai, helping her father reestablish Wutai as a world power, as they were no longer under Shinra jurisdiction.

And Tifa had done what she always did. She picked up the pieces and moved right on. She opened a second Seventh Heaven bar, now in Sector 8, and helped with the relief effort in her spare time. There were two apartments above the bar, one of which she lent to Cloud, and the other she lived in with her girlfriend, Zuri. Marlene stayed too from time to time, when Barret was prospecting something more dangerous and didn't want her along.

Everyone was doing what they did, helping out, moving forward with their lives.

Everyone, except for Cloud.

He felt rooted in the past, and no matter how much he tried to move forward, it was like his feet were stuck in the mud and he couldn't quite pull them out. He wanted to move on. He helped in the relief effort. He learned that he had a good head for mechanical stuff while working on the airship with Cid. He'd even gone to Wutai to try and help with the reorganization of the government, but politics and Wutain traditions were completely beyond his comprehension.

And sometimes the lack of inertia in his life left him moody and depressed. It was easy to be motivated when you were chasing down the enemy and saving the world. It was not as easy when your hardest task was knocking some sense into a couple of idiot would-be muggers or killing some random monster that had wandered too close to the city.

The lack of sleep didn't help with that either.

Or the stupid dreams he had basically every night, twisted up versions of shitty things that had happened to him and wouldn't leave him alone.

Or the fact that he really wasn't that _good_ at anything except killing stuff.

Or the jumpiness, or the flashbacks, or the voices, or lack of social skills, or the inability to concentrate on anything.

Ugh.

The coffee was finished, so Cloud picked himself up off of the floor and returned to the kitchen to pour himself a cup that ended up being more milk and cream than actual coffee. As much as he hated thinking about his dreams, this one was still very much on his mind. Almost all of his dreams were either straight up memories or weird mixtures of shitty circumstances that haunted him. Occasionally there would be something different, something current, but still terrible: his friends dying in his arms, killing a monster and realizing it was actually a child, Aeris blaming him for her death. That sort of fun thing.

This dream had been different. No--it started out as an awful memory, and then that strange woman had shown up. He was certain he'd never seen her before. What had she said her name was? Lillith? And she had said she was a dreamwalker, but what did that even mean? That she had just wandered into the dream from somewhere else and wasn't actually a part of the dream?

He had no idea if that was even possible, and he wouldn't know who to ask about it who might have an idea. He supposed it would have to be some sort of magic, but it wasn't like there were any Cetra around to ask. Maybe Bugenhagen would have some ideas, but he didn't really feel like traveling to the opposite end of the globe just to ask one question. Though he hadn't been to Cosmo Canyon in quite a while, and it wouldn't be terrible to get out of Midgar again for a bit. Cid was supposed to be landing outside of the city for a supply run tomorrow, although with this kind of weather, he might very well be delayed.

Once his coffee cup was empty, he poured himself another and drank it slowly while leaning back against the counter. It was too fucking hot for coffee, and he didn't care. He wanted out of here, out of this place for a while. He had an old motorcycle in the garage downstairs that he'd found abandoned in a ruined warehouse on the upper plate, but it wasn't in running shape yet. So he'd have to take the airship whenever Cid made it in, which wasn't going to be fun for anyone. Whatever.

Well, at least the motorcycle would give him something to do that he could stay in for. If he went out and got himself a cold, Tifa wasn't going to let him hear the end of it.

\--

The rain stopped several hours later, and Cloud opened the garage door to let the light pour in. He could see fine in the dark, but some sunlight was always nice. Staying inside too long made him antsy.

He was dressed in an old pair of ripped up jeans and his binder. The t-shirt he'd been wearing had been tossed aside an hour ago. But now that the rain was gone, the humidity level was much lower than it had been, and the temperature was very nearly bearable. For the lifelong residents of Midgar, though, it was still way too hot. The weather was unnaturally balmy for this area, thanks to Meteor's influence on the atmosphere. The previous winter had no snow at all, which was convenient for the rebuilding process at least. Meteorologists were still studying the weather patterns, but they predicted things would slowly go back to normal as the planet healed itself.

For Cloud, who had grown up much further south, this was a good, hot day. He wasn't as good at handling it as he had been as a kid, growing up with summers much like this, but he was still doing better than nearly everyone else.

Either way, the sun was nice but also quickly increased the temperature in the garage and offered itself an open invite for passersby who knew their way around the bar. The garage was the lesser used one and faced the back of the building, away from the road. Tifa generally used it for storage and to receive supplies by truck once in a while, but there was room for Cloud's bike too. Nobody would come around back here unless they were looking for him.

And someone was.

“Cloud, that is the most miserable bike I've ever seen,” came a voice from outside. “It suits you perfectly.”

Cloud glanced up, surprised. Yep, that sure was Yuffie standing there in the open doorway. He sat up and grabbed a nearby rag to clean off his hands.

“Yuffie? What are you doing way out here?” he asked.

“What? Not even a hi? No, 'Gee, how are you, Yuffie? That sure was a long airship you must have endured in order to come visit my pathetic ass'?” she demanded, hand on one hip and head cocked to the side. She was grinning like an idiot.

“Nope. You didn't say hi to me either, you little brat,” Cloud snorted, but he was also grinning. He stood up and spread his arms wide. “C'mere and get a hug from the Cloud Strife sweat factory.”

“Not a chance, old guy! You smell worse than Cid's boots!”

He laughed and went to grab his t-shirt. “Seriously, though, what are you doing out here?”

“Hmph. Why is just a straight up visit out of the question?”

“Because we both know you don't do that traveling thing if you can help it. You don't like me _that_ much.”

“Yeah, you're right,” she conceded. “I don't like anyone _that_ much. Put your shirt on, you exhibitionist, and come inside where there's air conditioning. I'll tell you about it over breakfast.”

Cloud shrugged and put the shirt on. “Let me take a quick shower and I'll be right back down,” he said, leading her to the door that led inside. “What time is it? The sun's up so Tifa is probably up too.”

“I dunno, like nine?” she replied.

“...oh geez, I guess I lost track of time,” he said, rubbing the back of his head. “All right, give me like ten minutes and I'll be back down.” He headed for the stairs leading to his apartment.

“I don't care if you take an hour, as long as you're not smelly when you come down!”

\--

Cloud did not take an hour. He did take more than ten minutes, but at least he didn't stink like sweat and engine grease anymore.

He found Cid hunched over the bar downstairs, moodily smoking and glaring at a cup of coffee. It wasn't as much of a surprise as it might have been, had he not already seen Yuffie. She had to have gotten there somehow, and the airship was the most practical way for her to have come.

“Hey, Cid,” Cloud commented, clapping a hand on the pilot's shoulder companionably. “Glad to see you made it in safe. I was worried you were going to get caught in that storm.”

“I _did_ get caught in that fucking storm,” Cid snapped. “And now, the _Highwind_ is docked for repairs, and there's puke all over the guest cabin.”

“Not my fault!” Yuffie shouted from the other side of the room. “You were flying like a maniac!”

“Yeah? _You_ try flying through a storm without some goddamn turbulence sometime,” Cid snarled back at her, though he just sounded tired and not all that angrier than he usually did. “And then let me know how that goes for you, because I sure as hell wouldn't be caught aboard that boat.”

“I'll skip that one too,” Cloud told him. “You need help repairing anything?”

“Fuck no, kid. You got an eye for things, but you're not going anywhere near my baby without supervision. I got a crew on it already.”

Cloud rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he replied, heading over to the table where Yuffie was sitting.

She had acquired a plate of food that was half gone already. “You're late,” she declared, her mouth full.

“You told me I had an hour.”

“You said you only needed ten minutes!”

“I was worried I'd offend your overly sensitive olfactory senses if I didn't wash everything six times.”

She considered for a moment. “Okay, I guess that's a good enough excuse,” she decided.

“Oh good. I was getting a little worried there.” He settled down at the table across from her. The smell of her food made him realize suddenly he was about three minutes away from starving to death. “...where's Tifa?”

“In the kitchen, making something for Cid, I think,” Yuffie replied, shrugging.

Cloud snatched a piece of toast from her plate and stuffed the entire thing in his mouth before she could pull some ninja bullshit to get it back.

“Hey!!” she protested, and he flicked her off with both hands, since his mouth was full.

She reached across the table, presumably to smack him in the head, but he caught her wrist easily. He held on until he swallowed. “I was going to die if I didn't do that,” he explained, allowing her, finally, to pull her hand back. “Your generosity just saved my life.”

“That better be the only reason you _ever_ steal food from me. I know where you sleep, and not even a Mako enhanced SOLDIER piece of shit like you will hear _me_ coming.”

“I'll keep that in mind,” Cloud promised.

Just then, the kitchen doors opened, and Zuri came out carrying two plates of food. Cloud frowned as she handed one to Cid.

“Tifa made this, right?” Cid asked warily. Zuri was known for her cooking skills the same way that Rufus Shinra was known for his kindness and generosity.

Zuri narrowed her dark eyes at him. While she was a few inches shorter than Cloud, she did have a way of taking up more space than she should have been able to, and her glowers were legendary. She was a plump woman with dark skin and incredibly curly black hair that she typically wore natural. Today, it was pulled back into a bushy ponytail due to the heat, most likely. The bow in it matched her light blue sun dress.

“Honey, I know better than to dabble with things I shouldn't be dabbling with,” she told him. “Of course Tifa made it.”

“Well, thank the fucking lord somebody does,” Cid snorted, and accepted his food.

“If that's a reference to my skill with mechanical things, you can shut your face hole right now,” Cloud retorted, shaking a finger at Cid. “I'm fixing up a motorbike downstairs, and I'm doing a fucking beautiful job.”

“If your definition of 'doing a beautiful job' means 'making it look more like a heap of trash than it already did,' maybe,” Yuffie countered.

“You can't fix something by making the outside pretty. You gotta fix the insides first,” Cloud replied, and stuck out his tongue at her. “Ah--thanks, Zuri,” he added, accepting a plate filled with a huge omelet.

“You're very welcome, but I gotta say, I think Yuffie's right about that bike,” Zuri told him.

“Wow, fuck both of you,” Cloud groaned, rolling his eyes. Zuri just laughed at him as she headed back for the kitchen.

By the time Cloud was done eating, everyone else had finished too. This in itself was a testament to how large that omelet had been, as Cloud was not a slow eater by any stretch of the imagination. Cid had gone outside, presumably to bitch out his crew for no good reason, and Zuri and Tifa were chatting amicably in the kitchen.

Yuffie was sitting back in her chair, her fingers locked behind her head and her chair tipped back with her feet on the table. “He was talking to me, by the way,” she commented. “Cid was. About dabbling in things I shouldn't be. He doesn't approve of my architectural goals.”

“Architecture?” Cloud asked, unsure of where she was going with this.

“That's why I came, actually. I need some help.” She righted her chair, putting her boots back down on the floor. “See, you guys aren't the only ones with weird weather. It's unbearable in Wutai too, but that isn't the problem. The problem is the rain.”

The capital city of Wutai was located at the base of a large mountain. A river ran through the center of town, and if that was flooding, that would mean a lot of bad things for the city. “Is the river flooding? Yeah, of course we can find people to help build up the sand walls and stuff,” he replied. “You should ask Reeve too--”

“That's only half the problem, and we don't need help with that part yet. God, Cloud, it's not like we've never had to deal with flooding before,” she scolded.

He paused, considering. “Architecture,” he said, slowly. “You said architecture.”

She nodded once, all business again. “It's the Da-chao statue on the mountain,” she said. “The hail and the storms are eroding it faster than it should be. I don't really believe in all the Wutain gods or anything, but Da-chao...he's really important, okay?”

Cloud nodded silently. There had been some things like that for him once, though they were all long gone by now.

“So I got to thinking,” she continued. “Mako makes _people_ stronger, right? So maybe it could be used to strengthen the stone or something. In fact, we might even been able to--”

“No.” He looked her in the eye. “We're not fucking around with Mako again. Not ever.”

She gave him a pained look. “I _know_. I'm not suggesting we grab a pitcher and dip it into the Lifestream here, okay? I'm talking about using Mako that's already been fucked with. Stuff that can't be used by the Planet anymore.”

He suddenly remembered when they had tried pressing their materia into the Lifestream flowing freely where Mideel had once stood. The materia had just floated there instead of being absorbed back into the Lifestream as they had hoped. There were a few scientists working on that issue still, but thus far they had not come up with anything.

“Materia,” he confirmed.

“Yeah. I'm not sure how exactly to use it for that purpose, though,” she admitted. “We don't have a lot of materia back home, you know. Shinra never got around to building a reactor by us.”

“So you came back here to ask me?” he asked.

“Well, yeah. You know all about materia and all that stuff. You were in SOLDIER, after all.”

“I wasn't actually _in_ SOLDIER, I just--”

“Whatever!” She rolled her eyes and tipped her chair back again, balancing it precariously on two legs. “Same basic thing. Anyway, you've got experts and scientists and shit around here, right?”

“Some,” he responded doubtfully. “I really think you'd be better off asking around at Cosmo Canyon. I was actually thinking of going there myself. I wanted to see Nanaki again, and maybe ask Bugenhagen some things.” He left that a bit vague on purpose.

“Sounds good!” Her chair smacked back down to the wooden floor with a thunk. “The two of us together ought to be enough to bully Cid into dropping us off there.”

\--

They were in luck. The repairs on the _Highwind_ were scheduled to be completed by nightfall, and Cid agreed to head out in the morning. He was stopping in North Corel on the way, but that wouldn't take them on too big of a detour. It was going to be an unpleasant couple of days, but then again, it always was. Riding in airships tended to be better for Cloud than in the back of trucks or on boats, but only when he could be on the deck, looking out the front window.

After the arrangements were all made, Cloud headed back into the bar to pack his things upstairs. Tifa's Seventh Heaven was open to the general public by this point, and there were a few people sitting inside, either at the tables or at the bar itself.

As it usually was in the afternoon, Tifa was minding the bar while Zuri did her own work in their apartment. While painting wasn't generally a very practical line of work in a post-apocalyptic world, she had her own special project asked of her by Reeve himself. She was designing a mural to honor everyone who had lost something or someone during the Meteor crisis. Cloud hadn't seen the designs yet, but Tifa assured him that the mural was going to be spectacular. Cloud didn't know shit about art, but he had seen enough of Zuri's work to not doubt the sentiment.

Cloud leaned against the end of the bar instead of heading straight upstairs. “Hey,” he called. “You busy?”

“You want something?” Tifa asked. “The dinner rush won't come up for a few more hours, probably.”

“No, uh...well, Cid's heading out tomorrow, if everything goes according to schedule,” he explained. “And I'm going with him. Yuffie is working on a project sort of thing and asked for my help. Why me, I don't know, but whatever. Not like I'm doing anything worth continuing here for now anyway.”

“Cloud!” Tifa protested. “You're my best bouncer. If you're not here, who am I going to have kick out all the drunks who try to start something?”

“Um, you?” he suggested. “You're like super good at punching people.”

She laughed, light and airy. “I'm kidding, Cloud. Of course you can go wherever you want. You know I just worry about you, that's all,” she said.

He poked her forehead. “That's because you worry about everyone,” he replied. “I'll bring my best sword with me to fend off all those blood thirsty scholars in Cosmo Canyon, okay? And besides, we all know Barret is your best bouncer.”

“Barret is at Fort Condor right now, so he's not very useful at the moment,” Tifa pointed out, giving him a half smile. “Cosmo Canyon, hmm? Say hi to Nanaki for me.”

He nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

“And make sure you get enough sleep tonight,” she added, reaching out to grasp his forearm. “I heard you go out at four this morning, and you didn't come back in until I told Yuffie where you were.”

Cloud was surprised and embarrassed at being caught. “Oh--I just couldn't sleep, that was all. The storm kept me up,” he managed. “I thought I'd work on the bike for a while, but I lost track of time.”

She gave him a look but let go of his arm. “You _never_ sleep well, Cloud.”

“...is it that obvious?” he asked, chagrined.

“Um, you make some noise sometimes,” Tifa admitted. “But! I'm not saying it's your fault or anything. You've been through...a lot.” She reached up and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “And it seems to happen more often now. Is everything...okay?”

It really wasn't. He could feel that familiar darkness tugging persistently at the back of his mind even now. Being busy helped, but if he slowed down, well, that was when the problems started. That was why he had to get up and start moving again. He'd been in one place for too long.

“Yeah,” he said. “I'm just a bit restless. So it'll be good for me to go for a while.”

_Liar._

Oh. That wasn't a real voice. It was nice that he'd figured out which voices were real and which were inside his head, so that he didn't have to worry Tifa anymore than he already was.

“You take good care of me,” he continued. “I promise, I'm fine.”

_You are such a liar._

She looked hesitant as she nodded. “Okay. Just, be sure to come back, all right?”

“Of course I'm coming back,” he replied, sounding affronted. “You're my best friend. Plus, you feed me. And my bike is here.”

She smacked him in the shoulder with her dishrag. “All right, all right. Try to get some sleep tonight. I'll make you some lunch to bring along on the ship.”

He gave her his best smile. “You are literally the best.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this chapter has some blood and death going on. But it's somebody who already died, so y'all shouldn't be expecting much.

Cloud dreamed about Aeris that night.

It was difficult to tell where the dream actually started, as it usually was. All he knew for sure is that she was playing a game with him, hiding in the woods, and he was supposed to follow her and find her. It didn't matter how fast he ran, she had already moved to the next hiding place by the time he got to her first one, the only indication she had ever been there was a flash of pink out of the corner of his eye and the tinkle of her laughter on the breeze.

The deeper they went into the forest, the darker it got, and the denser the foliage became. He wanted to turn back, go home, rest. He was tired of running and playing. But he knew he couldn't leave her here alone, and she wouldn't come home with him, even when he called to her.

Finally, it got so dark he could barely see the trees and plants he was climbing over, and the air was so oppressive that he could barely hear her giggling ahead of him. His arms and legs ached from exertion, and he wasn't sure how much further he could go. The path ahead became harder and harder to follow, and his voice was almost hoarse from calling to her so much.

But then, abruptly, the underbrush cleared, and the trees grew sparser until he came to a clearing. One single ray of light cast its light on the opening in the trees, and then, in the very center, lying on a large slab of flat rock, was Aeris.

She was lying on the rock face like she had fallen over backwards onto it. Her hair was loose from its typical braid, her head lolling to one side, and her arms askew. Her stomach and chest were wet with blood, and Cloud understood that he was too late.

“Aeris,” he choked, stumbling to her side and lifting her upper body up off of the rock and hugging her to his chest. “Aeris, no, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You were running too fast; I couldn't keep up. I tried, I tried my best, I didn't know there was danger. Oh god, oh no, not again! Aeris, no, you can't...”

“Cloud?”

Brilliant green eyes were staring up at him, and there was blood on her lips.

“Yeah. Yeah, it's me, Aeris. I'm right here. You're not alone.”

“Why'd...why did you let this happen? Why are you letting me die?” Her voice was a strained whisper.

Cloud choked on a sob. “I'm so, so sorry. I couldn't keep up with you.”

“I...I trusted you, Cloud. I...” She coughed, and more blood came up. “I _believed_ in you.”

“I tried so hard...I swear I did,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against hers. His tears fell onto her cheeks and mixed with the blood on her face. “I would do anything to take it back, to fix this! I would have taken your place if I could have.”

There was silence for a long moment. He finally pulled his head back, away from hers, and realized that she was staring blankly into the forest. The light had gone out of her eyes, and her heart wasn't beating any longer. He'd lost her again.

He hadn't cried at all the first time. He had been too angry. He'd laid on the floor in that little Cetra house, huddled under a blanket and glaring at the moonlight. His clothes laid drying over a railing, soaked from when he'd carried Aeris' body into that bottomless pond at the center of the city, and here he was, not mourning or grieving, but _seething_. He had once sworn to never let Sephiroth take anything else from him, and he had failed both himself and Aeris.

This time, he could cry. Sephiroth was dead and this was a figment of his own subconscious or something, and he had nothing left to avenge. He felt empty and broken. He felt like dying right along with her, even though he knew that wasn't a solution to anything.

“You know,” he mumbled to her corpse, still warm in his arms, “you got the easy way out of this. I'm not going to say you're lucky because that's stupid, but...sometimes I think you ended up a lot better than I did. There isn't any end to this, is there?”

“Her spirit returned to the Planet,” someone else said, and Cloud looked up to see that strange woman again, Lillith, standing at the edge of the clearing. “She was sad to leave you behind, but she is happy where she is. I can promise you that.”

There were still tears streaked down his cheeks as he stared at the unwelcome intruder. “Will you leave me the fuck alone!?” he growled.

She shook her head. “I can't go yet. I'm sorry. I need to talk to you, and you need to not end the dream before we've spoken,” she said quickly. “Please, hear me out. I can only talk to you like this.”

Carefully, he laid Aeris' body down on the rock he had found her on. He arranged her hands to cover the wound on her chest and closed her eyes. Now she just looked like she was sleeping. Then he stepped away, toward his uninvited guest.

“Why is that?” he asked, folding his arms over his chest warily.

“Oh, because my spirit has also returned to the Planet,” Lillith replied, shrugging a bit. “That's how I know she's all right there. Dreamwalking isn't something limited by the condition of your physical self.”

“You are so full of shit,” he snapped.

“Look, this wouldn't be so bad if you didn't have only terrible dreams ever,” she retorted, obviously getting irritated with him.

“It wouldn't be so bad if you left right now and never came back either, but apparently neither of us can have what we want,” he scowled. “Look, I've had entirely enough with people manipulating me and whispering things in my head, and I am not going to bother waiting to see if you're a good guy or a bad guy. Leave me the fuck alone.”

“No--just hear me out, please--”

Cloud whirled on her, eyes glowing and fierce. “Fuck you,” he said lowly. Then the forest and sky around them shattered like glass, and as the pieces fell around them, he woke up.

\--

Cloud was running on next to no sleep when he hugged Tifa goodbye and boarded the _Highwind_ the following morning. He was in a terrible mood, and if he wanted to be totally honest with himself, he was kind of scared. It was one thing to hear voices that weren't real when you were awake; that was something he was used to, something he could deal with. Besides, most of the voices were actually sort of pleasant, in a way. Some of them were nasty, but they were fewer than the others.

Most people, he realized as he buckled into his seat next to Yuffie for take off, would rather have weird, unsettling dreams than weird, unsettling voices during the day. But this Lillith felt like an intruder, like she was shoving her way into Cloud's brain where she was not supposed to be and settling in with his memories and personal thoughts.

There was absolutely nothing in the world Cloud feared more than being controlled again.

He was appalled with himself when he thought about the events that led up to Meteor's summoning and subsequent destruction. He had realized far too late that Hojo had been right--that entire trip, hunting down Sephiroth, all those pep talks to the group and absolute assurance that he was doing the right thing--that had all been the Jenova cells inside of him, manipulating him.

But Jenova and Sephiroth were dead. Probably. Right?

They'd destroyed every piece of Jenova, hadn't they? Except for the cells that had been injected into every SOLDIER and most of Hojo's experiments, but then, after the Reunion, Cloud should have been the only one left. Jenova had called all the pieces of herself back to where Sephiroth was, or that was Hojo's theory anyway. Some had been called more overtly. And Cloud himself had been more subtly manipulated into following Sephiroth to the Reunion.

Was this woman in his head part of the Jenova still inside his body? She might call herself Lillith, but that didn't mean that was who she actually was. She had made it sound rather like she was a Cetra, talking about returning to the Planet. But Jenova had called herself an Ancient more than once. And it wasn't like Jenova was above lying. Sephiroth and his clones had simply been puppets for her to control with her body confined the way it was by the Cetra. She would say whatever she needed to get free.

And Sephiroth had been holding her head when he fell to his death off of that bridge. Jenova wasn't dead. She was capable of living in pieces and controlling all those pieces, so how could she die with parts of her spread around all over the planet?

This occupied Cloud's thoughts for most of the two day journey to Cosmo Canyon. He paced around the airship moodily, not really talking much. Yuffie was busy leaning sadly over the railing for most of the trip, and Cid liked to monitor things from the bridge, so it wasn't hard to keep to himself. He even managed to wear himself out and sleep for the full night with minimal dreams, at least that he remembered. He did not see Lillith, or at least, he didn't remember seeing her.

They landed in a cloud of red dust in mid afternoon just outside the canyon, and by then, Cloud had come to a realization.

If Jenova was still alive, he needed to not be around people he cared about. Aeris was already dead because he'd been manipulated. He'd almost gotten the entire world destroyed when he gave the black materia to Sephiroth. He couldn't be allowed to do that sort of thing again.

And therefore, he had to know exactly what had been done to him in that lab.

He needed to stop Jenova before she could force him to do something else. And if there was no way to do that, he would have to remain isolated somewhere. He didn't _want_ that, of course, and so the wisest course of action would be to revisit that awful mansion at the edge of town and find the professor's notes concerning what he'd done to his failure of a test subject.

At the bottom of the landing platform, Cloud put his hand up to his forehead to shield his eyes from the sun. The city of Cosmo Canyon was just as magnificent as he remembered it, with the rock expertly carved into homes and buildings, the sprawling ladders, the colorful awnings, and of course, the bustle of people studying the Planet and its workings. It felt familiar here, peaceful, almost like he was welcome here. It was a nice feeling, but he knew it wouldn't last long.

There was a paddock at the base of the town with a sprawling chocobo ranch. They bred transport birds to cross the rocky ravines into neighboring towns since the terrain was so uneven, and rented them out. That was where Cloud needed to go. Nibelheim was a good distance away, but it'd only be a few hours on a chocobo. He would need supplies, though; it'd be dark before he reached Nibelheim.

“Ahhhh, freedom,” Yuffie groaned from behind him, stumbling out of the ship. “Thank god that part's over.”

“Yeah,” Cloud replied gruffly, kicking the toe of his boot into the dirt.

“Hey, so what's up with not keeping me company this trip? You always used to sit with me so we could be miserable together. Made the time pass faster.” She was doing a little hopping dance sort of thing, stretching her legs and arms.

“Oh. Sorry. I was distracted,” he mumbled.

She stood in front of him, grabbed onto his suspenders, and stood on the toes of his boots. “Yeah, no kidding! You're still distracted. Pay attention to me!” she insisted.

“Well, gee, I don't really have a choice, now, do I?”

“No! You're being weird again, and I don't like it when you're weird,” she told him. “Last time you went all batshit and ended up standing on the ceiling or something. Look, Tifa told me I had to take care of you, and you're doing a really bad Vincent impression. Really bad Vincent impressions are not okay in the Kisaragi Rule Book, all right?”

“What?” he asked, genuinely surprised. “Tifa told you to take care of me? Why?”

“Oh, I don't know, because you're a big, moody asshole known for erratic behavior?” she countered.

He sighed, pulling her hands off his suspenders and forcing her to take a step back. “Look, kid. I'm fine, I promise. I do have some things on my mind, and something that I need to clear up. That's it,” he promised her. “I'm not going to run off and do anything stupid. In fact, that's exactly what I'm trying to prevent. I--do have to go, though.”

“Go,” she repeated. “Go? Where are you going?”

_Hey._

No, fuck, not now. He took a step back and shook his head, as though that would solve anything.

_Maybe you should trust her. You should let your friends help you, like they did before. They do care about you, you know. As much as you care about them._

Oh.

“Cloud?” Yuffie asked, giving him a strange look.

“Sorry,” he said. “It's nothing. I'm, um. I need to go back to Nibelheim. There's something in that mansion I need to find.”

“That creepy old place? Ugh! Maybe Cid will go with you,” she replied, making a face.

“Cid? No, Yuffie. Come on, I don't need a babysitter,” he scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “He won't want to go anyway.”

“You tooootally need a babysitter, because you're a complete dumbass! Come on, let's go into town and say hi. I wonder how Nanaki is doing?” Without another word, she grabbed his arm and dragged him toward the entrance of town.

Cid was waiting for them, standing near the stairs leading to town and puffing on one of his perpetual cigarettes. He looked confused and then irritated when he saw them coming. The irritated look was basically his face, though, so that wasn't all that unusual.

“Cid! Cloud needs a chaperone because he's an idiot and I got stuff to do,” Yuffie announced. “Don't let him out of your sight or Tifa's gonna hear about it!”

“Oh my god,” Cloud groaned.

“What the fuck?” Cid asked, giving a concerned glance first at Yuffie and then at Cloud. “What the hell is wrong with you now? Why am I getting stuck watching your spiky ass?”

“Because nobody fucking trusts me to do things on my own!” Cloud scowled, glaring at Yuffie.

“Wow, it's almost like you've been acting weird and freaking out for reasons you won't tell us, and we're your friends and want to help you out! Wow!! What assholes we are!” she snapped right back.

He blinked at her, surprised by the outburst and a little taken aback. “I--hey, I'm trying, okay?” he finally managed. “I told you where I was going and that I was going and--well, I was _going_ to ask someone to come along, because I don't really want to go by myself. I just didn't get a chance.”

Cid sighed and rubbed a hand along his face and down to his chin. “Okay, kid, fine. You got yourself a partner. Where we going?”

Cloud was unhappy with the arrangement. He hadn't really wanted to take anyone along with him, but Yuffie was right. It was a good idea, in case he flipped out when he got there. But Cid was good to have at your back, and he was gruff and practical and could probably smack Cloud around some if he freaked out.

“Nibelheim. I just--I need to check out something there,” he admitted. “I was going to rent a chocobo and ride out tonight.”

“Forget it. I ain't going nowhere until after I sleep,” Cid stated. “We'll go in the morning. I thought you had shit to do here?”

Cloud shrugged. “I guess,” he said, reluctantly. He had wanted to speak to Bugenhagen, after all, and see if anyone there had any insight into the idea of dreamwalking. He just didn't want to chance going back to sleep and seeing Lillith again until he knew what was going on.

There was a sudden flash of red, and Yuffie let out a yelp of surprise. When Cloud looked over, she was lying flat on her back with a giant red beast pinning her to the ground.

“Hello, Yuffie,” Nanaki said eagerly, and licked her face.

“Ewwwww, get off of me, you overgrown house cat!” Yuffie whined, trying to push him away.

Nanaki and Yuffie's surprisingly antagonistic relationship was a great source of confusion for Cloud. They loved to pick on each other, play tricks on one another, that sort of thing. It made sense in some ways; Nanaki was middle aged by human years, but his species lived far longer than human beings. He had the mindset of a teenager in some ways. It was true that he was noble and reserved for the most part, but when one got to know him well, he was far more childish than one would imagine.

And so Cloud ignored the fact that Nanaki was standing on top of Yuffie and leaned down to scratch the big cat's ears amicably. “Hey, Red.”

“Cloooouuuud! Don't let him do this! Get him off of meeeeee!”

“Good to see you again, Cloud. Cid,” Nanaki said, nodding to each of them before finally climbing off of Yuffie. “What brings you to town?”

“Ugh,” Yuffie grumbled, standing up and brushing the dust off of her clothes. “Stupid cat.”

“We're here for a couple of reasons,” Cloud explained. “I wanted to talk with your grandfather, and Yuffie's looking into some things that she'll need access to the library for.”

“I'm just the chauffeur,” Cid added, sounding annoyed. “Although I do have some things for you guys in the back. Compliments of Tifa.”

“Did she make the meat biscuits again?” Nanaki asked, lighting up both literally and figuratively.

“Yeah, but I dumped 'em all over the side of the ship,” Yuffie told him.

His eyes grew very wide. “You did not.”

“I totally did!”

“I do not believe you.” He started off toward the ship with his long, loping gait, and she trailed after him, still yelling at him.

“Tch,” Cid muttered around his cigarette. “Kids.”

\--

Cloud did not get his chance to speak to Bugenhagen until well into the evening. As was traditional, the Cosmo Candle was burning brightly that evening, and many people were gathered around it. Yuffie and Nanaki were arguing about what was fueling the fire, and Cid was snoring lightly, his head bent low as he somehow managed to keep balance while very much asleep.

Feeling restless and worrying about sleeping again, Cloud found himself pacing distractedly around the outside of the platform where the Candle burned.

“Ho, ho! Cloud, my friend,” came a chipper voice from somewhere toward the stairs leading up to the observatory. “I heard you wanted to speak with me.”

Cloud turned to look, and there was Bugenhagen, strange and cheerful as ever. He still rested on his strange little device that allowed him to float a few feet off of the ground, and his eyes were lively and bright. He had a few more wrinkles than Cloud remembered, making him look older than ever.

“Hello, Bugenhagen,” he replied, nodding respectfully. “I did have a few questions I thought you might be able to help me with.”

“Come along, then. We will talk while we walk.” The elder led Cloud up one of the many staircases that led to various areas around the village.

The night was warm but not overly so, with just a touch of a breeze, and the stars shone brightly in the sky. It was a good night for a walk, but Cloud realized fairly quickly wherever Bugenhagen was taking him wasn't a path he was familiar with. Well, that was all right.

“I was wondering if you knew anything about dreamwalkers,” he finally asked, as they paused at a balcony.

“Dreamwalkers!” Bugenhagen repeated. “Now there is a term I have not heard in a very long time. A very long time indeed.” He stroked his beard thoughtfully.

“What are they?”

“Ho, hoo! Just what they sound like, to be honest. They are ones who walk within someone else's dreams. Not a very common thing, and there have not been any around in a very long time.”

Cloud nodded. Well, at least they had actually been a thing at one point. “What was the purpose of dreamwalking, then?”

“There were various reasons to dreamwalk,” the elder replied. “Much of the knowledge has been lost with the Cetra, I'm afraid. I believe it was generally for medical practices.”

“Could a Cetra dreamwalk after they had died?”

Bugenhagen turned to look at him. “What a strange question. I wonder why you would ask that?”

Cloud leaned against the balcony railing for a moment, looking down out over the city and the canyons beyond. He wondered what he was doing. This was crazy. _He_ was crazy.

But, no. He needed to trust people to help him.

“I've been dreaming about a woman,” he said. “She comes into my dreams, whatever they are about, and talks to me. She told me her spirit had returned to the Planet already, and that for the Cetra it didn't matter the state of one's physical body when it came to dreamwalking.”

There was a long silence as the old man mulled this over.

“I have yet to hear of a case of a Cetra dreamwalking after death, or of one walking into a human's dreams,” he finally said, slowly. “But there are many things we don't know.”

“Maybe it isn't a Cetra who is trying to talk to me. Maybe it isn't dreamwalking at all,” Cloud said quietly, sighing and closing his eyes. “Maybe it's something already inside of me. I mean, surely you must have figured everything about me out already.”

“You mean to say...Jenova.”

“Yeah. She might still be alive. We destroyed what parts of her we could find, but we never did find her head. Plus, so long as I'm alive, then she's...” Cloud groaned and closed his eyes, raking his fingers through his hair worriedly.

There was another long stretch of silence before Bugenhagen spoke again. “I would not be so quick to give up hope,” he finally stated. “There is much we don't know about this 'calamity from the skies.'”

“I'm not giving up. I'm going to Nibelheim tomorrow,” Cloud stated firmly. “If there's any way to fix me, that's where I'm going to find it. And if it isn't Jenova and someone's trying to contact me--well, I don't really care to hear from them anyway.”

“Ah. Of course I cannot force you to, but it might be beneficial to try and learn what this woman in your dreams wants from you,” Bugenhagen pointed out. “Ho, ho! To be young again! To have such splendid adventures as the chance to be selected by a dreamwalker! Come with me, Cloud. There is more I wish to show you.”

The path wound slowly around one of the highest plateaus near the town, all the way up to the top of it, where the edges were fenced off. A few small buildings stood off to one side, the side that faced the giant telescope facing the skies. They walked over to the opposite edge, and with the light from the city behind them, the view was spectacular. To one side, Cloud could see the giant red cliff faces give way little by little to the jungle that surrounded the Gongaga area. Looking further north, the tips of the Nibel mountains were visible just over the horizon. Overhead, a flock of bats flapped away, finding the two humans little good for nighttime hunting. The night air was cool in his lungs, and his night vision helped him see far more than what a normal person probably could.

“It's magnificent,” Cloud breathed.

“It is, isn't it?” Bugenhagen agreed with a chuckle. “Even after so many bad things happening, the Planet continues on.”

“I thought you said the Planet was dying, and there was nothing we could do about it.”

“Yes, but like all living things, there is an end to a planet's life. I believe it is holding out pretty well, for all the trouble we've put it through, don't you think?” The old man smiled. “You were capable of hearing the Planet's moans when you first visited me. Do you hear them now?”

“...no,” Cloud realized. “I don't.”

“Jenova is a cancer to this Planet,” Bugenhagen said. “A disease that may never be fully cured or erased. The scars of her blight will never leave this place. She has been here for many, many years before either of us, and perhaps she will continue many, many years after us.

“And yet the Planet continues. It gathers its energy to heal itself. It continues to support us. The Planet made the decision to allow life here to continue.”

“And I could be the one to destroy it all over again,” Cloud responded quietly, staring out over the world extending out before him. His voice was small and melancholy.

“Or to save it,” Bugenhagen broke in. He shook his head slowly. “I have seen the signs, Cloud. They indicate our Planet's life may be in crisis again. Last time, it was the Jenova in you that enabled you to save us all. They made you a weapon for the other side, but in the end, you were the one to defeat them.”

Cloud shook his head. “It wasn't me, it was everyone. I couldn't have done it alone.”

“Ho, ho! When did I say you were alone?”

“What is this crisis you're talking about?” he asked, frowning intently. He didn't want to keep doing this. He didn't want to have to fight anymore. He just wanted to...run away. Last time, it had been personal. Of course he had wanted to save the Planet. But he also wanted to destroy Sephiroth and Jenova in return for what they had taken from him.

Bugenhagen once again let the silence linger between them. For a long moment, the only sound was that of the insects in the evening air.

“I don't know,” the elder admitted. “It may be a crisis, or it may be something less...catastrophic. And, alas! I'm but an old man. I could be misunderstanding things too.”

“Have you ever been wrong before?” Cloud asked wryly.

“Ho, ho! You might be surprised.”

Cloud sighed, tired and even less happy than he had been when he had gotten up here. He wondered what the point of fighting anymore even was.

“That's why you want me to talk to the dreamwalker,” he realized, belatedly.

“She may be able to give us some insight,” Bugenhagen pointed out.

“I just--” Cloud frowned, and shook his head. “I just need to make sure first.”

“Yes,” Bugenhagen said, a touch of amusement in his voice. “I suppose you do.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that Cloud deals with some PTSD symptoms in this chapter (more overtly than in most other chapters).

Lillith came in another dream that night, but Cloud couldn't trust himself with talking to her yet, so he slammed her out and woke himself up before she could even say a word.

It was still early morning, the sun barely up. In the bed on the opposite side of the room, Cid was lying on his back and snoring like a chainsaw, and the usual hustle and bustle of the Cosmo Canyon atmosphere was absent as of yet.

Cloud decided to get up anyway. He had some preparations to do before he and Cid headed out. By the time he was out of the shower, the inn restaurant had opened, and he had some breakfast. Then he headed over to the supply shop. He knew from experience that the basement dungeon was pretty dark, and he wasn't keen on turning those examination lights on, if they still even worked. Then he picked up some food they could eat on the way and went down outside town to rent the two chocobos.

When he climbed back up the stairs to the entrance to the inn, he found Cid sitting outside, smoking a cigarette moodily and swearing at the sun.

“Where the fuck you been, kid?” he demanded when he saw Cloud.

Cloud shifted the large pack on his back. “Getting supplies. It freaks me out to buy stuff in Nibelheim, so I bought it all here,” he announced. “We have two chocobos being saddled for us right now. You ready? I'm gonna go say goodbye to Yuffie and Nanaki before we leave.”

Cid blinked. “Right. Jesus. Give a guy some warning, will ya? Whatever, I'll be ready in ten minutes.”

“I'll meet you by the stables, then.”

Yuffie was still displeased with him for leaving her there alone with Nanaki (even though she didn't want to go with him in the first place), but she accepted a quick hug. Nanaki promised to take _great_ care of Yuffie for him, and even though he said it with an awfully fangy grin, Cloud trusted him to protect everyone to the best of his ability.

Cid was a few minutes late, looking as irate as ever and chewing on the burned out butt of his cigarette. He tossed it before he climbed on his bird, and they were off within a few minutes.

They made it around lunch time, so Cloud stopped them well outside of town for them to eat their lunch. The artificial town left him terribly unsettled, considering the detail of what Shinra had done to cover up the incident with Sephiroth. Not everything was perfect, but the houses were similar enough to be disconcerting, and the people were unnerving to speak to. So they rounded the town entirely, coming up behind it near the mountains, and tied their mounts to the iron fence surrounding the dilapidated Shinra mansion at the edge of town.

The structure was even more decrepit than the last time he had been there. Most of the shingles over the western roof were gone, and the roof was caving in slightly in a few places. Shinra hadn't been here to keep the building in good shape. A few more years, maybe a decade, and the building would probably fall to pieces on its own.

The front door was locked, but fortunately, the wood of the door frame was rotting away, and a few well placed shoulder shoves cracked it inward, no problem. Managing the staircase was a little frightening, but all the stairs held together under their weight. A few monsters peeked out once in a while, but none seemed to really want to fight, so that was something.

“Where we going?” Cid asked uneasily. “This place is giving me the creeps.”

“Yeah, it does that. There's a secret underground laboratory with tons of books in it,” Cloud replied. “I need something out of one of those books.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” Cid grumbled as they entered the bedroom with the secret passage in it.

Before Cloud could activate the switch to open it, the stonework opened on its own. He jumped back, startled, and had Ultima Weapon his hand before he could even think about it. Cid too was fumbling with the Venus Gospel as the door slid back.

Behind the door stood a red cloaked figure, apparently completely unsurprised to see either of them.

“Hello,” stated Vincent.

“Fucking hell, Vincent goddamn Valentine, I almost stabbed you in the motherfucking eye, you dumbass son of a bitch!” Cid growled, pounding the flat end of his spear into the floor. “Don't fucking sneak up on us like that! I almost had a heart attack.”

“Oh. I'm sorry,” Vincent said.

“Ngh,” Cloud groaned, putting his sword away. Cid continued with his tantrum while Vincent stood there, looking slightly confused about the situation. Cloud's head hurt. This was way too much trauma for one day, and he hadn't even gotten started yet.

When Cid finally shut up, Vincent was able to explain what he was doing there. “I was checking on some things,” he said offhandedly. “I assume you came for the same reason?”

Nobody but Tifa really knew what had happened to Cloud in that basement, but sometimes he had a strong feeling that Vincent knew a lot more than he said. But then again, if he had figured things accurately, then Vincent had spent even longer in that lab than Cloud had, so in some ways, he was all right with Vincent knowing.

“I need to find something out,” Cloud said flatly.

“About Sephiroth?” Vincent wondered.

“No. About me.”

Vincent nodded. “I see. Perhaps I can be of some assistance.”

“...somebody want to tell me what the fuck is going on here?” Cid wondered, trailing down the spiraling staircase after them.

Cloud had known from the get go that whoever came with him down here was going to have to find out the secret of why he was what he was. Cid had really been a good choice, because he'd probably just make a bunch of faces and grunt sympathetically and then never speak about it again. Still, it wasn't something he really wanted to talk about, especially not here.

But Cid deserved to know, particularly because he was here to help Cloud find the information he was looking for.

Still, he waited until they had reached the bottom of the staircase and Cid was looking around with a strange expression on his face before he answered the other man. “Cid, how do you think I ended up as one of the Sephiroth clones?” he asked. “You were there. You saw how easily he fucked up my head and made me do exactly what he wanted me to.”

“I thought you said they did that to the entire SOLDIER project,” Cid replied, confused.

“I was never in SOLDIER,” Cloud explained. “I...I thought I was for a while. But I never made it. I wasn't part of the project.”

Cid paused, blinking for a moment, his mouth hanging open as he tried to reply. Nope, nothing. He closed it again. “Yeah. You said that too, didn't you. Well, fuck, kid. How did you fall into this mess?”

“Wrong place at the wrong time,” Cloud said. “Sephiroth attacked this village, burned it to the ground. Everyone who survived the attack got brought down here.”

“...what exactly is down here?”

“Perhaps,” Vincent put in, “you should follow me and see for yourself.”

Cid followed in barely veiled confusion and was expecting the worst, as was evident from his expression. Cloud trailed behind the two of them, trying to force all the thoughts out of his head and concentrate instead on breathing. In and out. In and out.

It wasn't so hard this way, right? It was something he had to do. He was strong enough to deal with this. Even though Hojo had escaped during that last encounter, there was nothing the professor could do to him now. He was a wanted man, all over the world. He wouldn't dare show up here ever again, right? He would know they were looking for him.

Vincent pushed open the final door leading into Hojo's favorite secret laboratory, and Cid stepped in, looking around. His jaw dropped slightly and his cigarette fell from his mouth and onto the floor. Whatever he had been expecting to find down here, this did not seem to be it.

He turned slightly, finally, looking at Cloud. “They...”

“Don't worry about it,” Cloud said gruffly. “It's over now. Help me find the stuff I need so we can leave sooner. Look for any document that mentions specimen B, code C. Just--I don't know, put them in this bag, I guess.” He pulled off the pack and set it on the floor near the exit.

“Kid...what do you need this shit for? You're not actually going to _read_ it, are you?” Cid asked, sounding slightly worried.

Cloud closed his eyes for a moment. “I need to know what he did to me,” he said, his voice low. “I was a failure. I wasn't receptive to the Jenova cells the way the others were. He used me for...other things.”

No one said anything for a long moment. It was Vincent who broke the silence by walking over to the nearest bookshelf and using a clawed finger to go through the list of titles there. Cid still looked a bit ill, but he followed suit and headed to a different shelf.

Cloud stood still for a long moment. He felt nauseated just being in this room, with that clinging feeling of claustrophobia pressing against him. He decided to start looking in the adjoining room, because he wanted to be as far away from that goddamn examination table as possible.

\--

It took them a few hours to get through all the materials in the library and carefully pick out everything that might refer to Cloud. Cloud was less help than he would have liked, finding himself spacing out and dealing with a few flashbacks on top of just the general instinct that he needed to get the fuck out of here as soon as possible.

But soon enough, they were back outside, and Cloud discovered that the rebuilt town was actually much preferable to being in that basement any longer. Cid had the backpack and was frowning intently as they traipsed back toward the chocobos. Vincent followed, his dark eyes on Cloud so intently that Cloud elbowed him in the ribs and told him to take a goddamn picture or something.

“I would like to go back to Cosmo Canyon with you,” Vincent decided casually. “I believe I will share a chocobo with you, Cid, if you don't mind.”

“I'll carry the bag,” Cloud put in moodily, before Cid even had the chance to respond.

Cid handed over the bag warily. “You sure you're all right, kid?”

“Look, the faster we get out of this shit hole town, the better,” Cloud retorted. “I will be goddamn ecstatic when we get back to Cosmo Canyon. I promise.”

Cid looked at Vincent. Vincent was not paying attention.

Cloud put the pack on and jumped on his bird. “Come on. I'm not waiting for you two.”

To their credit, Cid and Vincent kept up pretty well. Unfortunately for basically everyone, Cloud was not in a better mood when they got back to town, though. He left Cid to take care of the birds and making sure they got returned to the stable, while he stalked up the steps and headed for the inn.

“Hey!” Yuffie met him as he stalked into the hallway. Her room was across from his and Cid's, so she had probably heard him coming. “I talked to like a bunch of weird old guys, and they all sort of smelled--have you ever noticed that? Old people have this smell, and it's not--”

“I'm not in the mood,” Cloud snapped at her, and slammed the door in her face. Then he felt kind of bad, but he didn't feel bad enough to apologize. Instead, he switched on the lamp, sat down on the floor next to his bed, and opened the pack. He had a lot of material to get through before he slept again.

Yuffie was no doubt sulking in the hallway, because Cloud heard her start complaining the moment Cid was plodding down the hallway. Cid shushed her pretty quickly though, and Cloud tried not to listen while Cid told her that Cloud had had a shit day and needed a bit of privacy. He was grateful for it, even if he couldn't find a way to express through these shit emotions.

Sighing, he rubbed the bridge of his nose and pulled out the first folder. It was dated almost six years ago. That seemed like a good place to start. He opened the folder and began reading.

By the time it was pitch black outside and Cid finally returned to the room, Cloud had spread papers and books and folders all over his bed and around him on the floor. He had found a lot of really awful things in these reports, things that were more awful than he had even imagined they would be. His hands were shaking and his entire body hurt from his muscles being tensed for so long.

“You want me to sleep somewhere else?” Cid wondered, frowning at the mess.

Cloud wanted to tell him yes, to leave him alone, and to shut everyone out like it was the easiest to do. But he knew he needed the company, and quite frankly, the help.

“No. I, um. I could use some company,” Cloud admitted. “I feel like my head is going to explode.”

“They make pills for that, you goddamn idiot.” Cid sounded relieved. “We going to be up all night? Hold on, I'm gonna get some coffee and some pain killers. Open the window. I'm not staying up all night without a smoke.”

Cloud managed a small smirk as he stood up, setting a stack of papers aside and brushing off his jeans. It felt good to stand up, so after opening the window next to Cid's bed, he took some time to stretch out a bit in a clear section of floor.

Cid came back as promised, a few moments later, while Cloud was just finishing up his stretching. He accepted a mug of coffee (made just the way he liked it; good Cid) and the pain pills before settling back down on the floor.

“Was Yuffie real mad?” he asked, a little embarrassed of his little hissy fit.

“Oh, fuck yes, kid. She about blew a gasket on me when I told her to leave you alone,” Cid snorted. He kicked off his boots, sat down on his bed, and lit a cigarette. “You better be real nice to her when you come out of this room again, or you're gonna get a black eye.”

“What did you end up telling her?” Cloud asked, wincing a little.

“Just that you had a real shit day and needed some alone time. Then she wrangled dinner out of me and fucking ordered dessert,” Cid groused.

“I'm surprised she didn't steal your wallet.”

Cid patted his back pocket for a moment and then groaned.

“...um, she'll probably give it back,” Cloud offered, biting his lip.

“She better,” Cid muttered darkly. “Or else I'm leavin' her here.”

After a moment, he ashed his cigarette into his hand and tossed the ashes out the window. “So. What do you need me for in this pile of bullshit? You want me reading this stuff?”

“I...” Cloud swallowed heavily, looking at all the papers surrounding him. “I really don't. But...maybe you could help me sort it somehow? Start opening stuff up, see if it has anything about me specifically or if it's just garbage.”

“Yeah. Sure, kid. Subject B or something, right?”

“Specimen B, code C,” Cloud mumbled, his throat feeling a little constricted. “They'll probably all refer to me as a female too, because of...”

“Right.”

No need to bring that up. “Yeah.”

And so they got to reading.

Cid ended up with a box of items Vincent picked out to bring, and as he went through them, his expression grew more and more irritated, and the stack of items that were not actually about Cloud grew larger and larger the further he went. Within a hour or so, he gave up and tossed the entire pile back in the box. “Why the fuck did he bring this?” he grumbled. “Fuck it. I'm getting more coffee.”

Cloud handed him his empty mug without a word.

Once Cid was gone, Cloud curiously poked around in the top of the box. He understood why Vincent had taken them; the top items in the box detailed the events of his and Zack's escape. He rubbed a hand over his face, stoically taking in the words on the paper, bluntly printing out the words “A: Shot for resisting.” As if Zack's death was just a regular thing that had happened to occur. Like it was no big deal. Like there wasn't any fucking crazy Shinra Regular lying there behind that rock, listening to the gunshots pounding into the ground, into his chest--

Cloud shook his head, hard, trying to clear the memories away. His mouth dry, he turned the page. He had gone back to those cliffs, and Zack hadn't been there. He wondered what they'd done with his body. Had they burned it, the way that Sephiroth had burned Nibelheim? Had they dragged his body all the way back around the world, back to that horrible basement to do more tests on it? Shinra couldn't let anybody rot away in peace, could they? Everything had to be a big fucking production.

His eyes scanned the page, and he found himself blinking back tears. No, he was done with this. He was over it. He couldn't dwell on this anymore. Zack was gone, and Cloud was here to remember him. With Aeris dead, there was no one else, except his parents who hadn't heard from him in years...

And then he saw it; there, on the bottom of the page, one throw away sentence that changed everything.

Cid walked in then, grumbling to himself as he carried two mugs of coffee with him. He shuffled around for a moment, putting the drinks down on the nightstand, and then he looked up at Cloud finally. Cloud, standing there as stiff as a board, his eyes rimmed with red, staring at the piece of paper he was clutching like it was his only remaining link to sanity.

“...kid?” he asked warily.

“Can we get a radio transmission back to Reeve from here?” Cloud asked, not looking up.

“Um, from a little ways out maybe. Why, what's the matter?”

Cloud looked up, his hands trembling a little bit.

“I just found the location of another of Hojo's labs. It's in Midgar, and it's still got people in it.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONGRATULATIONS! Here is an entirely new cast to reward you for making it through the first three chapters.
> 
> Please mind the medical bullshit. I made stuff up. :D I have no idea if what goes on in this part is plausible or not. Welp.

There were only three light bulbs that still worked, and one of them had begun to get that telltale flicker in it that meant it was probably not going to last much longer.

They had been lucky thus far, to be perfectly honest. The scientists had stopped coming at some point a long while ago, and they'd been tended by the single lackey who had come down with food twice a day. And then he'd stopped coming too after the crashes had gotten so loud they could hear them this far underground, which was fine because they'd finally managed to jimmy the lock on the door not long after that.

There were two doors in the lab. One led to a food storage room. The other led to a staircase that had been crushed beneath a huge boulder. Well, that explained the crash.

No one came looking for them. And no one would either. There were seven of them in total, and there wasn't anyone left to look for any of them. Hojo was always good at picking people that wouldn't be missed. So that meant they were on their own. Each day, they took turns chipping away the rock that stood between them and the next leg of their escape.

Seven people, two rooms, dwindling supplies. They'd been working on this for so long that no one could remember how long it had been.

Zack was lying on the floor, fingers laced behind his head, and one ankle resting on the other knee. He was staring at the light and trying to ignore how hungry he was. At first, it had been great, seeing row after row of canned foods and other non-perishables. They'd had a miniature feast that first day free. It'd been a while since the guy who had fed them had come, and they were all hungry. The rationing had come later, when they realized it'd be harder than they thought to get out of here.

“You want a pillow or something, sweetie?” someone asked from his right.

Zack glanced over. It was Lydia, and she was folding up a blanket. Lydia was the group sweetheart, never losing faith that they'd manage somehow. She was a tiny woman with long blonde hair that she kept in a loose braid. She'd been rather plump when she'd come in here, but now her skin was tight against her bones and muscles. Her presence here seemed to be the result of a 'wrong place at the wrong time' scenario, and had seen something that she was not supposed to know about. When Shinra buried the incident, they brought her down here too to make sure no one found out.

Lydia was probably the best support and morale booster in the entire group. She was a mom-type who liked to take care of people, as was evident by the blankets she had made from scraps of extra clothing they'd found in the supply room, and the way that she could always figure out a way to make dinner taste good and interesting, even if it was literally the same thing they'd had the previous five nights in a row.

“Nah. Just passing the time 'til it's my turn to dig,” Zack told her, flashing her a smile that was much more cheerful than he actually felt.

They fell into an easy silence. Anything that could be said had already long been said by this point. She sat down next to him, her back to the wall and her hands folded demurely on top of the folded blanket on her lap. Zack tapped his foot to the rhythm of the flickering lights.

“Do you think--”

Lydia stopped herself before she got any further, and when Zack looked up, he saw her frowning. He sat up a little. “What is it?” he asked.

“I don't know, I was just thinking...maybe we should try the ceiling again.” Her voice dropped to a whisper.

Zack sighed, flopping back down on the ground. “I know what you mean, but we can't risk another accident if we actually want to get out of here,” he said tightly.

It must have been months now since they tried to get through the ceiling panels. The end result had been a cave-in of rocks and other debris on the far end of the supply room that had come very close to killing Marcus. Despite all the injections of Mako and the bullshit the scientists had put him through, he still couldn't walk and spent most of his time sleeping.

Marcus was the biggest of all of them, a grizzled old navy man whose ship got torn apart by a freak monster attack several years ago. He still had no idea what had happened to his crew members or even to the ship, because he'd lost consciousness and fallen into the ocean, and the next thing he knew, he was in the lab. He was a well muscled black man with graying hair and a gruff face covered in scars. His biceps were probably the size of Zack's waist. Despite his size and appearance, he was quiet, thoughtful, and very smart.

The rest of the little ragtag team was not in that great of shape either. Morale was getting low, and they'd already caught Celia trying to form a noose out of her blankets once. It was hard to keep momentum when they'd been trying to escape for so long. But Zack had gotten out of a shit hole like this once before, and while he could feel the hope slipping away with every flicker of that goddamn light bulb, he was not ready to give up on escaping a second time.

“Celia stopped eating,” Lydia explained quietly. “She won't listen to anything I say. I don't know what to do.”

“Goddamn it,” Zack sighed, putting one of his hands over his eyes.

Being a natural leader, it had been easy to sort of take charge of the group. They trusted him because, while he wasn't the first person at this lab, he had been in a lab longer than any of the others. He didn't mind the responsibility at first. It had given him something to do, something to focus on. That had been how he'd gotten out of Nibelheim, after all. Cloud hadn't been going to last much longer.

And neither was Celia or Marcus. Plus, he also had to think about Lydia, Juanita, Irving, and Liam. He had made himself responsible for each and every one of them.

Something needed to give, and soon.

He stood up, stretching for a moment. Brooding about it wouldn't do any good. Maybe he'd relieve Liam from hammering at the rock early. Get his aggression out on that fucking boulder. That sounded like a good idea. But first, he needed to go talk to Celia.

Celia was the most delicate of the group. She was so pale that she looked unhealthy, and her hair was so white, it was almost iridescent. Thin and willowy, the Mako seemed to have almost no effect on her stature--but her looks were misleading. Despite wrists so thin that Zack felt like he could snap them like a twig, the Mako in her made her able to do one armed pull ups without breaking a sweat.

That said, however, it wasn't her frail appearance that made her delicate. It was her mindset. She had been captured from the fishing village outside Junon when Shinra had demanded that her family give up their house. They had refused, and as a result, Shinra troops had stormed the house and murdered her husband and two young children. She herself was nearly dead when the soldiers brought her in, and she frequently lamented the fact that she had not died with her family.

It took Zack a few moments to find Celia. She was on the far end of the room, inside the area that had once caged them, lying in a pile of blankets and completely covered except for her head. Her hair was tangled and dirty (there were no showers, just a few sinks, and not much in the way of soap), and her pale violet eyes had dark circles under them.

Zack squatted down on the floor, resting his elbows on his thighs and looked at her. “Celia,” he said.

His only response was her eyes turning to look up at him for a moment before going back to unfocused staring at the wall behind him.

“Celia, what are you doing? Lydia said you stopped eating,” he persisted. “I need you at top speed if we're going to get out of here.”

“We're not going to get out of here,” she mumbled.

“Oh, fuck no, no talking like that,” he replied, frowning. “We gotta get out of here, cause there are some people I gotta find. There was this kid stuck in Nibelheim with me, I dunno if he made it or not, but I promised him that I'd help him out. So I gotta make sure he doesn't need any help. I told you about him, right? The one with the blond hair that sort of....”

“Spikes,” she murmured, closing her eyes.

“Yeah, Spikes. He's a good kid. You'll like him. And this other girl, she lives right here in Midgar. She'll help us all out, I know she will,” he continued. “She's good at helping people out. That's what she likes to do.”

“How come you get all these people waiting for you?” Celia asked quietly. “I've got nobody to bother leaving for. Why should I even try?”

“Because when I get out of here, I'll be on the outside, and you'll never see my pretty face again if you stay down here,” he explained in an overly cheerful manner. “Now, who could deal with that? Honestly? You know what I look like. I'm motherfucking beautiful.”

She didn't twitch.

He sighed. “Look, Celia--”

“Hey, Zack!” That was Liam's voice, from the doorway opposite of the cage area, leading to the stairwell where he was chipping away at the rocks that stood in their way. “I think you better get over here.”

Zack pressed a hand to his forehead. “Yeah, gimme a minute.” He turned back to Celia. “Look, darlin', you're a part of _this_ family, and we're not going anywhere without you. Things suck right now, but they won't always. I promise you I will get you out of here safe and sound, but I need your help with that too.”

“Zack?” Liam's voice sounded a bit worried.

“I'll be back,” he promised, patting her shoulder lightly before heading over to the stairwell.

He arrived, hoping to see light showing through the cracks in the rock or something, but instead, the stairs looked as dark and depressing as usual. Not really a surprise. This place was getting to him. “What'd you do,” he asked Liam, “carve a dick in the rock or something? Is it better than any of mine?” He liked carving dicks in the rock. It kept the job interesting.

Liam was a tall man with narrow shoulders and a hard face. His black hair hung in a ponytail all the way down his back. His eyes were a piercing blue, contrasting with his dark olive complexion. Zack didn't know much about him or why he was here, only that he was a native of the Mideel area. He was witty and sarcastic and a good match for Zack in any sort of verbal banter. Zack liked him, even though he was a huge asshole about ninety percent of the time.

Right now, Liam was giving him a look that was less than impressed. Whatever. Like he'd never carved a dick in the rock. “Shut up and listen for a moment.”

Zack did as instructed. At first, he didn't hear anything out of the ordinary, but then he pressed his ear to the rock and--

“...that's a jackhammer,” he realized. “Holy shit. That's a jackhammer!”

“I thought so too. That means...” Liam trailed off.

“Someone's trying to get down here. Hand me the hammer.”

Liam handed it over, and Zack didn't even bother with the chisel as he slammed the the hammer into the rock as hard as he could. “Hey! Hey, down here! There are people trapped down here! Help us!” he shouted.

He didn't hear the rest of the group (sans Marcus and Celia) gather around the bottom of the stairwell, but he did hear them talking excitedly amongst themselves as Zack continued to yell. He didn't get an answer, but the jackhammer sounds weren't going away either. They were faint, though, so he wasn't surprised that they couldn't hear him.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Liam asked. “If that's Shinra trying to get in here, we're in a world of hurting.”

“I don't care. I need to not be trapped in this hellhole for any longer than I've already been,” Juanita announced. She was nearly as tall as Zack and built like a linebacker. With chocolate eyes and tanned skin and normally short dark brown hair, she was a beautiful lady and a powerful fighter. Like Zack, she'd been within the Shinra army, though not in SOLDIER. And also much like Zack, she'd been involved with some mission that went wrong that Shinra decided to bury the evidence of--including her.

“If it's Shinra, they're just going to put us in a new laboratory, though, aren't they?” Irving asked, looking worried. The mousy little man was a nervous wreck at the best of times. A would-be Shinra scientist who wanted to leave when he realized just how deep the experimentation went, he had gotten locked in his own laboratory. Normally, he wore is light brown hair short, but now, it was long, tangled curls falling in his face. His rounded nerd glasses were a permanent fixture of his face, making his hazel eyes look bigger than they actually were. His skin was pale, exactly like you'd expect from a nerdy scientist guy.

“If it's Shinra, I'm kicking in all their heads,” Zack announced. “See? No problem. Hey! Can anybody hear me?”

“We have to try,” Lydia put in. “It might be a low chance that they're good guys, but it's a chance. And Juanita is right. We need to get out of here, regardless of where we go next. We need to, for Marcus and for Celia. And for the rest of us too!”

Liam nodded. “I can think of a few places worse than this, but not many,” he replied.

“My wife is probably worried as hell about me,” Juanita declared. “I told her years ago not to believe I was dead unless she saw my body.”

“I hope my dog is okay,” Irving mumbled.

The chatting continued as excitement rose, but Zack continued to receive no response from anyone on the other side of the rocks. It wasn't really surprising, though. The sound of the jackhammer was still quiet and very far away, and there would be no way anyone would hear Zack's shouts with the jackhammer going.

And so after about twenty minutes of fruitless shouting, he gave up and sat down on the steps, massaging his throat. This caught the attention of the entire crew ambling around the stairs. Even Celia had come over to see what was going on, much to Zack's relief. Lydia had gone off to prepare something for everyone to eat, and Irving had gone to tell Marcus what was going on.

“We'll have to wait until either they stop hammering or get closer,” Zack told the rest. “If we can barely hear them, there's no way they can hear us. We're not giving up, mind you. We're just being practical here.”

“What if they never hear us?” Celia asked.

“They will,” Zack told her. “I promised I'd get you out of here, didn't I? This is our way out. I'm sure of it.”

\--

They took a break to eat something Lydia had managed to put together that didn't taste like ass for some reason, even though Zack had no idea how she did it. Then Zack was back at banging at the boulder, figuring he might as well get some chiseling done while he was there. He chiseled a set of tits this time, because tits were pretty great, and he was in a good mood.

He had just finished the second nipple when Lydia approached in a tizzy. “Marcus isn't doing well,” she said, twisting her hands together. “He barely touched his food, and now I can't wake him up.”

Zack pushed the hammer and chisel into Liam's hands. “Keep trying to get their attention. Juanita, with me. C'mon.”

Marcus had a special makeshift cot set up in the storage room, where the air was slightly warmer and he could reach one of the sinks from his perch. When Zack entered the storage room, he saw exactly why Lydia was concerned. Marcus was shifting back and forth on the cot, a slick sheen of sweat covering his ashen face. Irving was next to him, dabbing Marcus' forehead with a damp cloth.

“He fell asleep while I was trying to help him eat,” Lydia was saying. “And now we can't get him to wake up at all. He's got a fever, and--do you think his legs are infected again?”

“Probably,” Zack said grimly. “Shit. See what you can find in the way of fever reducers and antibiotics, will you? We need to get him...something. Fuck.” He was not good at dealing with medical things like this. All he could think about were those seizures and deliriums Cloud went through time after time on their journey to Midgar, and as much as he wanted to believe Cloud was alive and okay somewhere, well. He had not been okay the last time Zack had seen him.

“All we have left are intravenous antibiotics,” Lydia called from the other room.

Juanita looked at him. “You ever start an IV line, Cap?” she asked, using her affectionate nickname for him.

“Once or twice. Like, probably ten years ago now,” he replied, pressing his lips together in a tight line. “I'm pretty sure you're the one with the field medic qualifications here, or was that just something you told me for the hell of it?”

“Nope, it's true. Listen, if you've done it before, you know what we need to do this,” she replied. “There aren't any lines in there, far as I know, and Marcus is gonna be off the walls if we try to poke him with anything. So that's what we need to focus on here.”

Zack paused, grateful not for the first time for how well Juanita could keep her wits about her during emergencies like this. He was losing his touch, but it didn't matter now. “All right. Irving, keep up what you're doing. Keep him as cool as possible. Lydia, we're going to need hot water, as hot as you can get it. I'll find something to use for the tubing. Juanita, you're on needle and tape duty. Celia? Find a pole or something we can hang an IV bag from, and something we can splint his arm with so he doesn't just pull it out immediately.”

“Thin as you can go on that tubing, don't forget that,” she reminded him.

He was glad to have her at his back. She'd make a good second-in-command, should that still be a relevant concept in either of their lives. Within ten minutes, they had gathered all the supplies they would need, and Lydia was sterilizing everything as best as she could. Zack had found a rather comprehensive first aid kit up above the top shelves that included alcohol wipes, which Juanita was using to sterilize the needle she had found. The tubing was constructed out of bendy straws cut in order to narrow them, all wrapped neatly in duct tape. It was definitely not ideal, and they had to tape the line to the bag, now dangling from a makeshift hook shaped out of a wire hanger that was also taped to the wall above Marcus' head.

Now came the fun part. Zack held Marcus' splinted right arm himself while Irving covered his eyes with the cloth. Juanita had to put the needle in so just about everyone else helped hold Marcus down (with the exception of Liam, who was still chiseling at the wall). If he was coherent enough to realize he was being poked, he was going to flip his shit, and even weakened like he was, he could probably do some serious damage before he was subdued.

Tough-as-nails Juanita even looked a little green around the gills as she held the needle, but none of them were terrible fond of them anymore. It was making Zack nervous just to look at it, even though he knew it was probably necessary for Marcus to survive this.

But Juanita was good. She poked him so quick that he barely had time to respond before she was taping the needle in place. Lydia whispered into his ear, stroking his hair gently to soothe him, and she kept the cloth over his eyes. Marcus let out a few quiet whimpers, but he thankfully was too far from consciousness to realize what was happening to him.

Zack let out a sigh of relief, despite that they weren't out of the woods yet.

“All right,” he said. “He needs to be watched 'round the clock until the fever goes down. Who wants first watch?”

“I will stay with him,” Celia offered, stroking Marcus' face gently.

“I'll take over for you pretty soon,” Lydia put in.

Zack gave them both a grateful nod. “Thanks. Good job, everyone,” he said. “We've just got to hang on a little longer. But we're all getting out of here. I swear I will dig us all out with my goddamn fingernails if I have to, but we _will_ leave. We'll all leave.”

“We're family, right?” Celia replied quietly.

He put his hand on her shoulder. “Damn right, we are,” he told her.

He knew he probably sounded redundant at this point, but he didn't have it in him to care anymore. He was exhausted and wanted to sleep, but there was too much going on. Even if he wasn't in charge of this mess, his mind was racing at ten times the speed of light, it seemed like. He'd never be able to fall asleep.

And so he went back over to Liam and almost immediately noticed something different.

Liam had his ear pressed against the rock, and he was frowning. When Zack appeared at the bottom of the stairs, he looked down. “Do you happen to know Morse Code? I think they're trying to communicate with us,” he said.

Zack grabbed the hammer without even bothering to affirm that he did, in fact, know Morse Code. It had been a while, but he could probably remember enough to communicate. Liam stepped aside as Zack pressed his ear right to the center of one of the tits he'd chiseled earlier. There was nothing for a moment, so he took the hammer and banged out a simple H - E - L - P.

Then his ear was back to the rock. It took a few moments, but there, just faintly...

O - N - O - U - R - W - A - Y.

He nearly wilted in relief. Thank the fucking lord or whatever was in charge of the goddamn universe. They were making contact with the outside world.

He tapped back a quick addition: H - U - R - R - Y.

Another pause, and then: S - O - O - N - S - T - A - Y - B - A - C - K - (the fuck was that one?) - A - N - G - E - R.

Was than an D? Probably an D.

His reply: O - K.

Simple enough. He pulled back and jumped down the stairs, almost knocking Liam out of the way. The exhaustion before was entirely gone and replaced by exhilaration. “Hey, everybody!” he shouted. “Good news. Whoever is out there knows we're down here and is on their way. Told me they're gonna be here soon. I don't know what that means, but they also want us to stay away from the door. I think that's a pretty good plan.”

“What are we going to do if it's the Shinra?” Irving wanted to know.

“We're gonna beat the shit out of them,” Zack explained. “Me and Juanita have been working on a bit of a weapons cache, just in case anybody came back. We didn't tell you because we didn't want anyone to get any funny ideas. What we're going to do is each take a weapon. When they get close enough, we'll arrange ourselves in here. I'll talk to whoever comes down. If they turn out to be the bad guys, we can bottleneck them right here in the doorway. Just--nobody attack until I give the word, all right?”

There was some general nodding between them. Even Celia was peeking out the door so she could hear better what was going on. Juanita went to gather the crude metal knives she and Zack had carved and then handed them out. Zack grabbed some of the loose rocks and sat down on the floor near the stairwell door.

“All right. Me, Juanita, and Liam are the best fighters right now, since Marcus is out of commission,” he explained, making two joined squares out of the rocks. “This is the stairwell here, and back here is the storage room.”

He picked out a few more rocks. “This area over here is where they're coming in. After the rocks are cleared, I'm going to go up here--” He picked a rock for himself, bigger and cooler looking than the other stones, and put it near the stairwell. “And Juanita and Liam are going to be right here.” The Juanita and Liam stones were on either side of the door. “Either Celia or Lydia is going to be with Marcus back here, so Irving and whoever isn't in the back should be right around here.” He put them near the cage door. “If we're going to need to attack, I'll say, I don't know, 'I guess we're going to have a problem here.' You hear that, get ready for a fight. I'll lead them down into the main room here, and then Juanita and Liam will take them down as they come in. My job is distraction here. Then Irving and whoever come up to help out Juanita and Liam, and I'll guard Marcus.

“If they get in anyway, and if they're armed with guns and shit, and the odds are too stacked against you, drop your weapon, put your hands in the air, and surrender. Getting out of here alive is more important than getting out of here free. If you're alive, there's always another chance. If you're dead, that's it, game over. You don't get to try again. Got it?”

“Do you really think we'll have to fight?” Irving asked.

“I'm really fucking hoping not. But I have no idea what's going on out there right now,” Zack replied. “If I trusted my instincts, I'd say this is a rescue, not a retrieval. Shinra doesn't give a rat's ass about us, dead or alive, and if they were trying to kill us, they probably wouldn't have bothered trying to communicate with us before coming down, or warn us to stay away from the door.”

“I agree with you, Cap,” Juanita said. “It's a good strategy, even if we probably won't need it.”

“Of course it is. I came up with it,” he retorted, pretending to be offended. She smacked him in the shoulder.

“How much longer do we have to wait?” Liam asked.

“I don't know. I told them to hurry, though, and they seemed to take it seriously,” Zack replied. “So everybody, keep on your toes. One way or another, we're getting out of here tonight.”


	5. Chapter 5

And so, they waited. 

Zack found himself pacing around distractedly while Lydia and Irving both went to keep Celia company while watching over Marcus. Juanita hovered near the doorway, listening as the jackhammer noises increased in volume. Liam was sitting inside the cage on one of the blanket piles, eyes closed lightly. He was either taking a power nap or meditating.

Finally, after hours of this, Zack deemed the jackhammer loud enough that they had to be close. He called everyone to their places. Lydia stayed with Marcus, and Celia and Irving took their places near the cage. Zack, Liam, and Juanita stood back. Everyone was staring at the staircase.

And then the jackhammer noise got very suddenly much louder, and a number of pebbles and small rocks showered down the stairwell.

“...hello?” called a masculine voice from the stairwell.

“It's about time you guys showed up,” Zack shouted back. “Who are you?”

“Me? I'm Gabe Ryans. Give us a second here, we've got to haul this boulder out of the way. Stand back away from the door,” the man called back. “We'll be down in a second. Do you have anyone injured down there?”

“Yeah, just one,” Zack replied.

He heard the Gabe Ryans guy shout something, probably the other direction, about sending in a medic. That was definitely a good sign. Unless they had something valuable to the Shinra scientists that they could only extract while they were alive. But he wasn't going to think about that. Nope. No considering that possibility at all. Not even a little.

“They want us alive,” Juanita said lowly.

“Yeah.”

“Should we change the plan? Should we not attack until we're out of here?”

Zack shook his head. “We have a better chance if they get bottle necked down here. All the shit locking us in will still be gone. And they definitely want us alive, so chances are they won't be using deadly force.”

“True.” She still looked uneasy.

Before he could continue with this line of thought, there was a loud grating sound from the staircase as the boulder was yanked out of the way. Zack made sure everyone was far away from the doorway while whoever was out there worked. The noise got quieter, and then there was a rumbling down from somewhere above them, and Zack found himself blinking as daylight--actual real goddamn _daylight_ \--filtered through the dust and down the stairs.

This was really happening. Holy shit.

After a long moment of silence, a dark skinned man with a messy ponytail of dreadlocks and a round, almost childish face, appeared in the doorway. He was dressed in very dusty fatigues, but he wasn't carrying a gun. In fact, as far as Zack could tell, he wasn't armed at all.

“Gabe Ryans,” he said, still eying the man warily.

“Yes, sir,” Gabe replied, his voice chipper.

“What brings you down here, anyway?”

Gabe seemed confused. “A rescue mission, of course. Shinra banned human experimentation, and we found records of this place,” he explained. “The president seemed very convinced there were people still down here, so here we are.”

Zack stared at him. That was the most ludicrously bullshit story he'd ever heard someone actually say. “Look, Mister, we've been out of commission down here for a while, but we're not stupid,” he said. “The president doesn't give a shit about the cogs in the machine and we all damn well know it.”

“The new president does,” Gabe explained. “Both the ex-president and his son Rufus are dead. Shinra as you know it has been completely dismantled. A lot has happened since you guys have been down here.”

“Um. Obviously,” Zack replied, still not trusting this guy.

“The medics are on their way,” Gabe said, glancing back up the stairwell. “Can they come down? They're unarmed.”

“Yeah.” Marcus needed help that they couldn't give him, and Zack wasn't about to let anybody die. “Irving here will show your medics where our injured man is. We did what we can for him, but...well, he needs a lot more help than we can give him.”

“Right.” Gabe didn't try to come into the room, just flattened himself against the wall to let the medics by with their stretcher, which was kind of a feat to see, considering the man's size.

Zack waited until Marcus was on the gurney and on his way up the stairs before turning his attention to Gabe again. “I want to talk to the president,” he decided. “Or--someone I know. I was a first class SOLDIER. Let me talk to someone in my crew.”

“I'll get you somebody. Are you Zack Fair?” Gabe said, fishing his radio off of his belt.

“...yes,” Zack admitted. He might as well tell them his name, since he'd already said his rank in Shinra. Not like they couldn't just look at their notes and find his full profile anyway.

Gabe nodded. “Pleasure to finally meet you, sir. I've heard a lot about you.”

“All good, I'm sure,” Zack snorted.

“Mostly. Anyway, I think I know somebody who you could talk to,” the soldier replied. He tuned his radio and pressed a button. “Captain Highwind, do you copy? This is Commander Ryans from the excavation crew. Repeat: Captain Highwind, do you copy?”

There was a moment where the radio crackled, and then a rough voice replied. “Yeah, kid. I'm here. What's up?”

“How far out are you?” Gabe asked.

“About an hour,” the voice on the other side of the line replied.

“Make it quicker than that. We've already broken through.”

“Already, nothing,” Zack muttered.

“Is the General with you?” Gabe asked, and Zack's blood ran cold suddenly. The General--that could only mean one person. And it was not a person Zack was entirely sure he wanted to think about right now. Or. You know. Ever again.

“Shit. He's gonna be pissed. He was secretly looking forward to bursting through and heroically carrying everyone out on his back,” the Captain said. “Let me get him.”

“I've got Fair here, safe and sound. Wants to talk to someone he knows before he'll let anyone out, though,” Gabe responded.

“Don't blame him one bit. I saw the last lab, and I'm still having the same fucking nightmares. And that one was _empty_.”

“Hey,” Zack put in. “This general you're talking about--that I know--he's not--”

A new voice on the other end of the transmission interrupted him. “Gabe? Cid said you guys made it in.”

Zack then had the second shock to his system in about two minutes. That voice. He knew that voice. It sounded different than the last time he'd heard it, and not just because it was being transmitted through a radio, but it was enough the same.

“Sure did, General,” Gabe replied. He handed the radio over to Zack. “Go ahead and say hello.”

Zack stared at the radio in his hand for a moment, almost afraid he was wrong and that wasn't who he thought it was, and everything was about to be awful again forever. Maybe he was dreaming. Yeah, that had to be it. His dreams weren't super thrilling or anything, but this couldn't even be real.

“Shit. Okay. When you go down there, Gabe, you gotta remember they're going to be paranoid, and mentioning Shinra is probably not such a great idea--”

“Spikes?” Zack said into the radio.

There was silence from the other end of the line.

“How the fuck did you make it to general before me?”

There was a relieved laugh from the speaker then, and it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. He found himself blinking back tears as he stared at the radio. Cloud had made it. Cloud was okay. Cloud was fucking _laughing_ into the radio.

Zack took a deep breath, feeling better than he had felt in a very long time. “These guys are your friends?” he asked.

“Yeah. Fuck.” Cloud sounded like he might be crying a little. Zack understood the feeling. “Gabe is a good guy, and you can trust whatever he says. You have my word.”

“Okay,” Zack said, still feeling sort of floored. “You're going to be here soon?”

“I told Cid to floor it,” Cloud replied. “We'll be there in a half hour or so. Zack, I...”

“Spikes. C'mon, kid. Save it all for after I hug the shit out of you,” Zack told him. “I gotta get my people out of here, and you have to...I dunno, order people around or something.”

“It's a _nickname_ , okay, because everyone on this fucking planet is awful,” Cloud groaned. “See you soon.”

The radio clicked off, and Zack handed the radio back to Gabe. Then he turned around and walked back into the room where everyone else was now in their designated places. He put a hand on his forehead and started laughing. He couldn't help it.

“...you okay, Cap?” Juanita asked him.

Zack looked at her, still giggling a little. He felt hysterical. He put his arm over her shoulder. “Sweetheart, I have never felt better than I do right now,” he said. “We're safe. We're fucking free.”

She didn't look convinced. “Are you sure they're safe?”

“I am exactly 149% sure,” Zack told her. “Maybe even 149.1%. Listen. Juanita. Everyone. That was Spikes on the radio there. I've told you all about Spikes, yeah? It was him. I know it was. And I would trust him with my life, and all of yours. That's how sure I am.”

There was a momentary silence. “Well, that's good enough for me,” Liam declared, and he headed for the stairs.

“You haven't led us astray yet,” Lydia agreed. She followed Liam.

“Fair enough, cap,” Juanita added. “I'll trust you on this one.”

“Even if you're wrong, I don't want to be down here anymore,” Irving nodded.

After a moment, it was only Zack and Celia left in the basement. Even Gabe had left them alone to lead the others up to the surface. Celia was leaning against the bars of the cage area, looking forlorn and worried. Her pale eyes followed Zack's movement as he walked over to her.

“There's nothing left for me out there,” she said softly. “I'm scared.”

“I'm about to piss myself,” he told her. “I'm terrified of what I'm going to find out there. But as much as I know there isn't much of anything left for me out there, I know there's nothing left for me here, and there never will be. Come on. I told you we'd all leave, now let's do it. I'm not going to suddenly stop being there just because we're on the outside.”

She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and then put her hand in his.

“I trust you,” she whispered.

Zack smiled. He led her to the doorway, to the stairs, and then took one last glance at the tiny set of rooms that had been his home for the past who even knew how long. Then he was climbing the stairwell. He was never fucking going back here again.

“You know, one time I promised myself I'd get myself killed before I went back to a place like this,” Zack admitted. “But now? I'm kind of glad I broke that promise.”

Celia hugged his arm. “Me too.”

\--

Zack wasn't at all prepared for the sight that greeted him at the top of the stairs. The entrance to their basement had been inside an old warehouse, which was now a huge pile of rubble with about two thirds of a wall left in one area. When his eyes finally adjusted to the afternoon light, he realized that pretty much everything else was less a collection of buildings and more a collection of partial walls. In the distance, he could see some buildings intact, but the heavy equipment near that area indicated they were new buildings rather than old buildings that had survived whatever catastrophe had decimated the rest of the area.

There was a whole team of army medics, dressed in regular fatigues, nothing but an armband with a big red cross on it to indicate who they were. A few of Zack's little group was allowing their temperatures to be taken, but nobody looked terribly excited about it. It was going to be a long time for any of them to trust doctors again, if it ever happened.

“Here. Fresh water,” Gabe said, handing out water bottles. “Lots better than whatever recycled shit you had going down there, most likely.”

The water tasted like heaven.

“Gabe Ryans,” Zack commented, once his water was gone, “I like you.”

Gabe grinned. “I'm honored, sir. There's plenty more where that came from, too.”

There was a rumbling sound coming in over the horizon, steadily increasing in volume, and Zack looked over the ruined city. There was a small object slowly growing bigger as it approached, the sunlight glinting off its metal exterior. It had to be some sort of airplane or something, but he'd never seen an airplane shaped like that before. Either way, it'd still be a little bit before it got here.

He turned back toward Gabe, settling down on a piece of rubble near the supply tents. “So, how about my injured man? Marcus is his name. How is he?” he asked. He didn't know what was going to happen to any of them now, but making sure Marcus was all right was priority number one. Hugging Cloud would move into that place once Cloud actually fucking made it there.

“It's too early to tell. The infection is in at least one of his legs, and it doesn't look good for that,” Gabe admitted, not pulling any punches. Zack was grateful. “But he'll live. That leg might have to be amputated, but they're quite positive about his recovery.”

“Thank fuck,” Zack sighed. “What about the rest of us? And what the fuck happened here?”

“You're free to do as you please. The Company can't possibly compensate you for what you've lived through, but they're willing to try. President Tuesti will provide housing, income, counseling, whatever he can. As for what happened, well, there was an incident.”

It was getting hard to hear Gabe. The metal object was, in fact, not actually a plane, Zack could see now. It looked more like a blimp, but much sleeker and really goddamn pretty. If Cloud was riding on that, Zack was going to throw a tantrum until he got his own ride. The wind started whipping around as it approached, and a couple of people on the edge of the little camp area waved around lighted sticks to direct the aircraft.

While Zack was in the middle of worrying where a monstrous thing like that was going to find room to land, he realized that it was stopping. His hair whipping around his head, he put a hand to his forehead to look at the magnificent machine, still sitting on his seat that had formerly been a wall. As he watched, a rope ladder extended down off the edge of the lower deck, and...was someone honestly climbing down? With all that wind, he completely expected the figure to fly away.

But there was some sort of shield there against the wind or something, because Zack found himself watching a blond climb down that ladder without any extended effort. Once his boots were firmly on the ground, someone pulled the ladder back up, and the huge ship thing rose back into the air.

He stopped paying attention to the ship then and turned his concentration to the man at the base of where the ladder had been.

Zack stood up and started walking toward him. Then he started running. That was Cloud. That was his Spikes. There was no doubt about anymore, now that Cloud was coming toward him and was giving the widest fucking grin he'd ever seen on the blond's face.

Cloud stopped in front of him, looking a strange combination of worried, relieved, and terrified.

Zack did not stop until he was chest to chest with Cloud, throwing his arms around him and hugging the shit out of him, just as he'd promised he would. He pressed his face into Cloud's shoulder, nuzzling the fabric of his black t-shirt like he was an extremely attention-starved cat. He could feel the tears threatening again and felt stupid and happy and overwhelmed by everything going on.

“Spikes,” he mumbled. “Cloud. Fuck. Cloud, look at you, look at you, you're safe. Oh god. Cloud.”

“Augh--Zack--I think you're crushing my rib cage--”

Zack dropped him and stepped back, looking at his smaller companion.

The last time he had seen Cloud, he'd been so fucked up from all the bullshit Hojo had done to him that he could barely stand up. He had spent a good deal of time staring off into space, sometimes hearing what Zack said to him and sometimes not. He slept fitfully, barely ate. Despite the muscles given to him by the Mako, he was thin as a rail. His complexion was pale, even after all the sun he got on their journey.

But now, Cloud was standing tall and strong, still sporting his slender build but bulked up significantly more than Zack remembered him being. He was tan from the sun, and his blue eyes were literally glowing with life. Dressed casually in a pair of fatigue pants and a black t-shirt, he looked amazing. Zack was a little jealous, knowing he probably looked atrocious at the moment.

Excitedly, he reached up and patted either of Cloud's cheeks. “Look at you, Spikes. Did you get taller, or am I just finding it weird that you're actually standing up?” he asked, laughing a little bit.

Cloud gave him a look. “You got shorter, you ass.”

“Wouldn't surprise me,” Zack admitted tiredly, rubbing his head. “Jesus. Cloud. I can't believe you're okay. I thought you were a goner for sure.”

“Hey, now. You were always the one who told me I was tougher than I looked,” Cloud admonished, patting his shoulder. He looked sad, Zack thought. Even though he was smiling, there was something about his Spikes that was very sad.

“What's the matter?” Zack asked him, and Cloud just laughed weakly.

“I just. I can't believe you're real,” Cloud managed. “I thought you were dead. Fuck, I can't believe you were alive, and I just--I left. I thought you were dead...Zack, there was so much blood, how in hell did you manage to live through that?”

“Don't really know,” Zack admitted. “Last thing I remember is those fuckers jumping me, and then I was in that place with a bunch of holes punched in my chest. Look...Spikes. You couldn't have done anything. You know damn well they pumped me full of Mako the minute they dragged me over here. It's the only way I could have, you know, not died from that.”

Cloud's voice broke slightly. “You said you'd rather die than go back,” he said softly.

“I said a lot of shit,” Zack pointed out. “Now I know better, cause I'm alive, and you're alive, and we're together, and I'm never letting you out of my goddamn sight again.”

That won a small smile out of the blond, and Zack laughed and threw an arm around Cloud's shoulders. “Come on. I gotta introduce you to my buddies over there,” he said. “They've heard all about you for so long, it'd be cruel for them to not actually get to meet you.”

“Oh my god. What did you tell them?” Cloud groaned as Zack dragged him back toward the others.

“Everything,” Zack replied. “Well, not everything. But you know. All the important stuff, like how you once owned a pair of boxers with tiny oranges all over them.”

“You did not.”

“I totally did.”

\--

The introductions took a while. Liam seemed amused by Cloud's existence, Juanita kept trying to get a good look at his ass, and Lydia hugged him and cried. Zack looked on like a proud parent as he showed off Spikes to all his fellow lab rats.

Eventually, Gabe wrangled them all into a truck, where they drove down to the lower plate in front of an old hotel that Shinra had apparently commandeered for their use. Gabe explained that this was what they had set up for their current rescues. They'd only found out that the lab even existed that morning, so it wasn't much, but it would do until they set up something better.

“Gabe, who's on night duty here?” Cloud wondered as they piled out of the truck. He looked a touch pale, but there was no puke, so that was something.

“Kale,” Gabe responded. “Handpicked for the job, sir.”

Cloud looked relieved. “Perfect.” He turned back to the group. “I trust Kale as much as I trust Gabe, so don't worry about safety. He and Gabe are in charge of getting anything you need for you. I need to borrow Zack because he forced me to meet all of you, so it's my turn to introduce him to all my friends.”

“Juanita, you're in charge until I get back,” Zack called, and winked at her.

She gave him a silly salute. “Sure thing, Cap.”

“You guys need him, Gabe and Kale both have my PHS number,” Cloud told them. “You, come with me. Time for you to get fawned over and petted.” He grabbed Zack's arm and led him down a rubble strewn street.

“Oooh, goody, I can't wait to meet all your buddies,” Zack laughed, letting Cloud lead him around. He didn't mind this at all. “What you tell them about me, huh?”

“I think I mentioned you once or twice,” Cloud retorted, rolling his eyes.

Zack put on his saddest face. “I'm hurt, Spikes, I really am.”

“...a lot happened,” Cloud said, frowning, and even though Zack had just been joking, he got the idea that Cloud really wasn't.

“Yeah, I can tell,” Zack said, deliberately lightheartedly. “Did you break Midgar?”

Cloud gave him a pained look. “Look, it was only like _half_ my fault, okay. No matter what anyone tells you.”

“I--” Zack suddenly realized he had no idea how to take that. “I don't think I can actually imagine you doing _this_ much damage on your own.”

“Oh, come on. It's not actually my fault. Well, I mean, it sort of is. But also it sort of isn't,” Cloud said, frowning. “I didn't do it, but it's kind of my fault that it was able to happen in the first place.”

“Look, Spikes. I don't even know what happened. I am completely in the dark. What I know is that a Thing happened, and it was a Bad Thing, and now they call you the General, and it's apparently kind of your fault that the Bad Thing occurred, but I still don't believe that part, so.”

“Well, it's possible that somebody summoned the ultimate destructive magic in the universe and tried to destroy the planet, and it centered on Midgar, but in the end, it got fixed. A bunch of people died, Shinra sort of fell apart, and essentially, we kind of had a miniature apocalypse, but everything is okay now.” Cloud looked slightly worried.

Zack felt slightly worried.

“Oh, is that all,” he snorted.

“All the important stuff,” Cloud replied, determinedly shoving his hands into his pockets.

“I can still tell when you're bullshitting me, you know,” Zack told him.

“Well, of course there was more to it than that. But that's seriously all the important parts. The rest are just stupid things, and basically, you were lucky to miss it,” Cloud insisted. “Um, not that you were lucky to be where you were. Just that you weren't outside to experience all this bullshit.”

“Spikes, when have you ever gotten away with not telling me something?”

“Can we not do this now? Can we please? I just want to--enjoy being around you, not talk about how badly I fucked everything up yet again,” Cloud replied, giving him a rather morose look.

Oh, sure. Of course he wasn't joking about this being his fault, and he was taking complete responsibility for a miniature apocalypse. That was so in character for Cloud that Zack wondered how he had missed this coming a mile away.

“All right, Spikes. Don't worry about it,” Zack said, giving him a big, stupid smile.

“It was just--shitty. That's all. People died, and I was real messed up...”

“I thought we were waiting to talk about it later,” Zack replied. “Look, Spikes. I don't want to rush you. I want to know, not so I can blame you for anything, but so that I can help you work through it. I can tell it's really bothering you.”

It was really quite amazing how much Cloud could transform when he was feeling miserable. His shoulders hunched inward and his chin hung low and his arms tightened around his middle. He reminded Zack of that confused little kid who had wandered into Shinra all those years ago, constantly worried about the other kids in his platoon but so fiercely convinced he had to handle everything on his own.

Cloud made a tight scoffing sound, but he did relax a little.

“Stop looking at me like I just kicked your puppy,” Zack told him, poking him in the shoulder.

“I don't have a puppy,” Cloud pouted.

Zack rolled his eyes. “Your metaphorical puppy then, you fucking literalist. And before you ask, that's someone who takes things literally that are obviously not meant to be taken literally. Where the fuck are we going anyway? I hope there's a shower there, and possibly a clothing mart.”

“We are going to a place with hair brushes, because I'm pretty sure you've got a few wild animals in there,” Cloud replied, sounding slightly irritated but less pouty at least.

“But they're happy there, Spikes. You can't evict them,” Zack said sadly.

“Too late! We're already here,” Cloud said, gesturing to the building behind him.

Zack looked up at a modest two story building with a large, hand painted sign on the front that read, 'Seventh Heaven.' From the door, he got a whiff of the best food that ever existed, and he had suddenly never been as hungry as he was right this second.

“Cloud, we need to go in here or I'm going to die of not eating anything but canned beans for the past three months,” he stated very seriously.

“We're going to, but you look like you just escaped a research lab, so we're gonna go upstairs and attack you with hairbrushes first,” Cloud explained, leading Zack to a side door.

“Noooooo,” Zack whined as Cloud grabbed his wrist and led him into the restaurant and up a little set of stairs set beside the bar, away from the kitchen and its beautiful smelling food.

Cloud led him into a little apartment. It was mostly tidy, though there were a few dishes in the sink and books on the counter, things like that. It wasn't terribly personalized, nothing really hanging on the walls, but something about the way it was set up reminded him of the time he'd spent with Cloud living in his apartment with him back in Junon. Cloud liked to live tentatively, almost, like he was afraid of messing something up in a way that would irritate someone else, even though it was clear he was living alone here.

“It's not much, but there's a shower. I don't know if you'll fit in any of my clothes, but you can try,” Cloud was telling him, pointing at the bathroom. “There are some clean towels under the sink, probably. I mean, if there are clean towels, that's where they're going to be. You know what? I'm not even sure I own a hairbrush. Oh well, I can find one. There should be plenty of hot water, but please don't use it all. You don't even want to know what the showers are like on the airship, and I've been flying straight through from Cosmo Canyon.” He wandered into the bathroom as he talked, looking under the sink.

“We could always share,” Zack replied, waggling his eyebrows.

Cloud smacked him with the towel he'd acquired.

The shower ended up being basically the best thing that had ever happened to him. He went through about half the bottle of Cloud's generic shampoo, trying to work out whatever tangles he could with his fingers. He soaped himself up from head to toe and tried really hard to ignore all the new scars on his chest. There were likely a good deal of them on his back too.

He didn't use up all the hot water, but he was probably cutting it pretty close, because the entire mirror was steamed up and his fingers were getting kind of wrinkly. That was fine. Cloud would probably forgive him. He got water all over everything as he grabbed the towel Cloud had left for him and mopped himself off before wrapping his tangled mess of hair in it.

There was a bathrobe hanging on the door, so Zack helped himself to it. It fit okay and covered all the necessary parts. He didn't really have any qualms in walking around naked, especially when it was this hot (when did it get this hot in Midgar of all places?), but Cloud seemed to be feeling guilty about the whole Zack not actually dying on the cliffs thing, so he thought it might be a good idea to cover up the scars.

He hummed to himself as he pushed the door open. There was companionable sounds of people chatting and music playing wafting up from the bar beneath them, which was rather comforting to him. “I'm about done, Spikes!” he called into the apartment, and then started snooping through the bathroom cabinets. He was just curious.

It was pretty empty. A bottle of pain killers, toothpaste, a comb, some ace bandages, and a small bottle of aftershave. It was Zack's brand, which made him smile.

At this point, Cloud still hadn't replied, and Zack felt that old paranoia climbing up inside of him again. “Spikes?” he called. No answer.

Shit. Something had happened, and here was Zack, wearing nothing but a bathrobe and completely weaponless. Cloud was in trouble. Zack crept out of the bathroom, trying to increase his senses to detect whatever had happened. Nothing.

The kitchen seemed like a good place to head, since there were likely knives there, so Zack headed down the hallway back toward the little kitchen he had seen on his way inside. There was a plate of steaming food on the table, along with a note. He sighed, forcing himself to calm down, and picked up the piece of paper.

“Zack-

“Trying to find something for you to wear. Here's something to tide you over in the meantime. I'll be back as quick as I can.

“-Cloud”

Yeah, of course that was what was going on. Zack felt rather stupid, but he decided not to dwell on it. It was a lot like Cloud to do something like this. He remembered all those hot cups of coffee left for him on the counter along with a little note of encouragement he'd find in the mornings after Cloud had already gone to morning drills.

He settled down at the table. There was basically no way this was actually Cloud's cooking. Someone must have delivered this from downstairs or something while Zack was showering. It was a hot turkey sandwich, positively dripping in gravy, and it smelled divine.

He grabbed his fork and cut himself the first bite. He thought he'd be shoveling it down, but he found he wanted to savor the feeling of real, actual food in his mouth for a moment. So he took his time, because there was no hurry here. No running from Shinra, no worrying about getting shot, no missions, no people under his protection, no responsibility. For a moment, Zack was free.

After all but licking the last of the gravy off the plate, he was still alone in the little apartment, and he was getting unsettled. He grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer and stuck it into the bathrobe pocket, just to make him feel a little better. Then he decided to explore Cloud's apartment.

It was pretty small. There were two bedrooms (although the smaller of the two was being used for storage), the little kitchen, the bathroom, and the living room area. The living room had some sparse but comfortable furniture with a dusty TV in the corner. The furniture was pushed to the edges of the room, leaving the middle open.

The bedroom was more interesting to Zack. There was a double bed in the corner of the room, but the pillows were in the center, and the sheets were a tangled mess, implying that Cloud slept alone. There was a dresser against the opposite wall, although it seemed like Cloud preferred to store his clothing on top of it rather than in it. A closet stood in the corner, containing nothing but a couple of swords and a few boxes.

With a huge sigh, Zack flopped down on Cloud's bed. Holy shit. Beds were awesome. How long had it been since he slept in a real bed? He couldn't even remember. He removed the steak knife from his pocket and stowed it under the pillow instead, and then he proceeded to roll around on the bed like a dog in the mud. Even though Cloud's bed smelled a little funny, Zack was never getting out of it. Jesus fuck.

The next thing he remembered was the vague sound of footsteps and someone calling his name. What? Cloud? He must have fallen asleep. He groped around under the pillow and found the knife there, feeling muddled and confused. Was someone attacking? Where was Cloud??

The bedroom door pushed open, and Zack whirled on it, knife clutched in both his hands.

Cloud stood in the doorway, looking startled. He put up his hands defensively. “Whoa, whoa, easy, Zack, it's just me,” he said soothingly.

Zack looked at Cloud, and then at the knife, and then felt very stupid. He put the knife on Cloud's nightstand. “Shit. Sorry. I think I fell asleep,” he mumbled, rubbing his head.

The other man shrugged. “You can keep sleeping if you want. I found you some clothes that will probably fit, and a hairbrush,” he replied. “Oh, and I've got a few things a little better than that steak knife, if you feel vulnerable in here.”

“Okay,” Zack murmured, wondering suddenly if the things he was afraid of were actually things he could defeat with swords. “Cloud?”

Cloud was halfway to the sword closet. He paused and turned around. “What is it?”

“You're really here, right?” Zack asked wearily.

“Yeah,” Cloud told him, abandoning the closet and instead climbing onto the bed with Zack. He grabbed Zack's hand and pressed it to his chest, over his heart. “Right here, with you. In the flesh. You're really sitting here in my apartment. You're really free of that place, and I'm going to make sure nobody ever hurts you like that again.”

Zack sat perfectly still, feeling the faint thumping of Cloud's heart beating under his hand. Those were the right words. Those were the words Cloud would tell him. His brain sometimes played tricks on him, but he wanted to trust Cloud so badly that it hurt.

“I'm not going to wake up and be back there?” he finally mumbled.

“No,” Cloud said gently. “You're free.”

And then Cloud's arms were encircling him and he was pressing his face into Cloud's shoulder and clinging to him. He wanted to be strong for Cloud, but right now, he was hiccuping into Cloud's shirt instead, fighting back a round of sobs of relief that were building up in his throat. He trusted Cloud. He was free, finally. And it was such an overwhelming feeling that he didn't know how to deal with it.

Cloud held tightly onto him, not making a sound, not shushing him or trying to console him. Cloud understood what he was feeling. Cloud, his beautiful Cloud, who always knew what he needed, always gave without ever asking anything in return. Cloud was right here, and he was okay, and he wasn't going anywhere.

After a few moments, his grip relaxed and his breathing slowed, but he stayed there on Cloud's shoulder, enjoying the support he got there. Maybe for a few minutes, it was okay to let Cloud be the strong one.

When he finally pulled back, Cloud's hands were gentle as they let him go. He didn't apologize, because if anyone understood what he was feeling, it was Cloud. It was funny that he didn't feel this strongly attached to any of the others. There was a deep connection between the seven of them, that he would never deny, and he doubted it would ever really fade, even with time. But for Cloud...

...well, it had all been for him in the first place, hadn't it? He'd gotten Cloud in on that mission to Nibelheim, since he had known Cloud had come from there. He'd broken out of that lab in the first place because he could tell Cloud wasn't going to last much longer. He'd trekked around the entire goddamn planet trying to get Cloud to Midgar to see if Aeris could help him. He'd taken a chest full of bullets so that Cloud didn't have to go back there.

Juanita and Liam and everyone--they were lifelong friends. But Zack couldn't imagine being apart from Cloud willingly ever again.

“You know,” Cloud said, after a long moment had passed, “I have something for you that I think you'll like. It's in the closet. You mind if I go get it?”

“Yeah, no, I'm good,” Zack responded, intrigued. He'd of course been in that closet earlier and seen nothing but boxes and swords. Was Cloud going to give him a sword or something?

He watched Cloud walk over to the closet and open the door, sliding entirely inside to pull something out of the far back. Whatever it was was big and draped with a large white sheet. A long, wooden handle stuck out the end of it, and--

“Spikes. Is that what I think it is?” Zack breathed, standing up.

“It depends on if you thought it was Buster, because...” Cloud pulled the sheet off, revealing a beautifully polished Buster Sword. She wasn't a replica, either; she still had the gouges on it from dueling Sephiroth and the tooth marks in the handle from when he'd first gotten her and wasn't too good with it yet. Cloud had kept his baby for him. And Cloud had kept her in good shape, too.

Zack reverently accepted the return of the sword that meant more to him than most of the other material possessions he had ever owned. “Spikes...you...you kept Buster for me?”

“I had to borrow her, for a while,” Cloud admitted. “She served me well, and I could never bear to get rid of her, even though I thought you were...you know.” He looked a bit embarrassed about the entire thing, but he was also smiling at Zack's reaction. “We can spar or something later, all right? I've gotten pretty good.”

“What, you think you can beat _me_?” Zack scoffed, laughing lightly. God, he was about to start crying again.

“I didn't say I'd _beat_ you,” Cloud replied, rubbing the back of his head. “I mean, if we sparred right now, I'd kick your ass. But I'll give you a week or two to get back into shape first.”

“Oh, you are going down for that comment, Strife,” Zack snorted. “Thank you, though. Thank you for keeping her for me.”

Cloud shrugged. Zack was pretty sure that Cloud had absolutely no idea how much this little gesture meant to him. It was good to have this physical embodiment of proof that Cloud had missed him, and that his own existence had made enough of a difference to someone that they'd keep something like this around to remember him by.

Zack just grinned and patted Cloud's shoulder, though, instead of trying to explain it. “Hey, did you say you got me some clothes? I mean, I don't mind parading about naked, but the people downstairs might have something to say about that,” he commented.

“Yeah, and a hairbrush,” Cloud replied warningly.

“If you're brushing my hair, I'll grudgingly sit through it,” Zack promised. “And I'll only complain a _little_ bit.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More PTSD symptoms in this part, along with some heavily referenced torture (just that it happened, not so much what it was), so consider yourself forewarned.

The victims of this last lab recovered fairly quickly, with the exception of Marcus. They were in fairly good shape, just slightly malnourished and lacking in some vitamins, but that was easily fixed. Marcus had to get one of his legs amputated, but he was otherwise in good health and expected to make a full recovery.

Zack's plans of keeping the group together were dissolved pretty quickly. Juanita's wife had never given up on her and even still worked for the Company. It wasn't hard to get a hold of her. Marcus' grandchildren were in the area and, though his son had passed away during Meteor, the rest of the family was alive and well. Liam had headed out on his own, though he didn't go too far, accepting the offer of housing from Reeve. Lydia had befriended Tifa and Zuri and was helping out in the kitchen. Irving had been speaking to Reeve about some possible employment with the new Company.

Celia was the only one still floating in the wind, but Lydia had all but adopted her. The two of them settled down in an apartment near Seventh Heaven, and Celia had struck up an unlikely friendship with Zuri. It seemed that Celia had an interest in art but very little training, and she managed to find a new passion again now that she had something of a teacher.

And Zack, who had slept at the temporary housing Gabe had set up for them every single night until the last of their little ragtag team had left for good, was now living in Cloud's apartment, sleeping on his sofa, and trudging his feet instead of looking for his own place.

He told himself it was because Cloud's place was convenient. The location was very near Lydia and Celia, so he could check up on them. Plus Gabe seemed to be becoming a regular at Seventh Heaven, and he was always pleasant conversation. He told himself that he was picky about his living arrangements, and not just any old apartment complex was going to do. He needed time to find the right one, one with a good view out the back and no peeping neighbors so he could walk around the place naked.

But he knew the truth. He wanted to be near Cloud. He couldn't help it, he was just drawn to him. The apartment really wasn't big enough for two people, not unless they cleaned out that storage room and put a bed in there, but Zack wasn't going to suggest that. Because obviously he wasn't going to stay there.

For what it was worth, though, Cloud didn't seem to be eager for him to leave. He never said a word about it, just tried his best to make his sofa more comfortable for Zack and only sparingly complained about how the shower drain was always clogged with black hair.

Zack had still not gotten the entire story about the Meteor incident from Cloud. He'd gotten excited retelling of the events from other Midgar residents, about the giant red moon-like rock bearing down on the city and how President Tuesti had gathered all the citizens he could in the slums and never ran for it like the old president would have done, and isn't he a great president?

What he did know for sure, however, was that Aeris had been involved with all of this somehow, and now she was dead because of it. Cloud wouldn't talk about it; it was something he had obviously taken very hard, if his reaction was any indication. It had actually been Tifa who had mentioned Aeris and had in turn told Zack the bad news. She mentioned a few other things that gave Zack some clues as to what had happened, but he had no real solid information.

But bothering Cloud about it didn't seem like a good idea either. He hadn't noticed right away, but the blond had some sort of heavy weight on his shoulders, holding him back. There was something off about him, the way sometimes he spaced out entirely and cocked his head slightly, as though he were hearing something no one else could hear. He was skittish as hell, paranoid about windows and doors (Zack didn't blame him there), and he had some pretty awful nightmares, if his shouts were any indication. He also spent hours at a time pouring over paperwork that he wouldn't let Zack see, always which let him snappish and irritable. Cloud was carrying a lot with him, and he wouldn't let anyone else share the burden with him.

It wasn't like Zack didn't have any weird side effects from all the shit done to him. And it wasn't that he expected Cloud to be perfectly fine after all the horrible torture he'd been put through. It was mostly...well, he _wanted_ to help. He wanted to be trusted with the terrible insides of Cloud's head, whatever they were made up of.

He got a glimpse of them after being stuck in that little apartment for about two weeks.

Cloud was locked up in his bedroom with those goddamn papers again, and Zack was irritably flicking through the television channels for lack of something better to do. He knew Cloud needed his own private time, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to be sulky and bitter about it. It was stupid, and he knew it. He was being a petulant child, demanding attention all the fucking time. But he didn't care.

There was nothing on TV. There were a few entertainment channels that had gotten back on their feet, but many of the old channels weren't broadcasting anymore. He paused on a news story about yet another person being admitted to the hospital with weird symptoms, but doctors were optimistic about the treatments they were administering. So there was a shitty strain of the flu this year. Big deal.

He turned off the TV, listening to Cloud's movements and the low murmur of the patrons at the bar downstairs for a moment. It sounded like Cloud was pacing again. Zack had no idea what those papers were all about, but he didn't like them. They didn't make Cloud happy, and so that pissed Zack off too.

Oh, Cloud stopped pacing. Interesting. Then--

_Thunk._

What the fuck was that? Zack was on his feet before he had time to register that that was a thing he ought to do. He almost went for Buster, sitting next to the door that led downstairs, but decided that it probably wasn't necessary to bring a sword. He rushed instead to the bedroom door and then paused for a second.

“Spikes?” he called. “Everything okay in there?”

No answer.

“....Cloud? I'm coming in there if you don't answer me.”

There was still nothing.

Zack frowned intently. “Okay, don't panic, I'm coming in,” he called, and shoved the door open. It wasn't locked, so that was something.

But the scene in front of him made his blood freeze in his veins.

Cloud was sitting on the floor, one leg tucked underneath him and the other askew on top of some loose papers, like he'd slipped on some of the papers and hadn't bothered getting back up. He had a notebook clutched in his hands, and he was staring at it with an expression that was somewhere between horrified and just plain exhausted. There were papers all around him, on the bed, on the floor, mostly in neatly stacked piles, but some in hastily discarded messes or crumpled into little balls. Books, notebooks, all open all over the floor. He was searching for something, studying furiously.

Zack's memories unhelpfully reminded him of entering that Nibelheim basement that would later become his prison for more than four goddamn years and seeing Sephiroth much this same way. Books, papers, notes, all around him. He felt sick. He felt terrified. And then he snapped out of it and did what he should have done in Nibelheim.

“Spikes!” He grabbed the notebook away from Cloud and, to his surprise, Cloud let him. He went to toss it aside, but first he glanced at it. What he saw there instantly made him realize what Cloud was so upset about.

The notebook was lined with carefully detailed notes handwritten in the tiny inked letters that he recognized as Professor Hojo's handwriting. There were a few black and white pictures taped to the page, surrounded by details of their contents.

Zack dropped the book as though it was on fire.

“Cloud,” he said harshly. “What the fuck are you doing?” He grasped Cloud's shoulders, and a quick glance at those papers proved that everything in here was Hojo's notes.

This was how Cloud had known where to find him, Zack realized, feeling cold.

“Come on, Spikes. Help me out here. We're going in the other room, okay?”

Cloud looked at him with wide eyes. Good. He was scared and flipping out from that. That wasn't the insane, I'm-going-to-murder-you face. “Yeah,” he whispered.

Zack pulled him to his feet and marched him out of the bedroom, firmly closing the door behind him. He was going to leave that mess in there to take care of later on, and he was never letting Cloud near it again as long as he lived.

He marched Cloud into the kitchen, kicked one of the kitchen chairs out from under the table, and sat him down there. Then he grabbed another chair and sat down in front of Cloud. “What the fuck were you reading that shit for, huh?” he demanded.

Cloud put on the most petulant face he could manage while also appearing completely spooked.

“Spikes? Hey? Come on, I'm not mad at you, I'm just--” Zack sighed, rubbing his head. “You're freaking me out here.”

“I was looking for something,” Cloud mumbled, finally, his voice quiet.

“You were looking for something. Well. That was pretty obvious. What the fuck, though? Why do you have to pick through all that bullshit?” Zack demanded. “What could possibly so important that you would have to read detailed reports about what that fucking _sadist_ did to us to find it out? Do you even know how much you scared the piss out of me, Cloud?”

Cloud took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He seemed to be trying to calm himself down, so that was something. Finally, brilliant blue eyes blinked back open, focusing on Zack's face. “I don't remember it,” he finally said. “What he did to us. I lost a lot of it.” He tapped a finger to his forehead. “There are bits and pieces, and I have dreams sometimes, but...”

“Spikes. Kid. That's _good_. I promise you, that's a good thing,” Zack assured him. “You don't need to remember that shit. It'll only fuck you up.”

“No, you don't understand. Zack, I need to know. I have to know what he did to me,” Cloud insisted.

“Yeah, well, do you know who the last person who said that to me was?” Zack demanded. “Sephiroth. Right before he fucking flipped out and killed everyone he could find.”

Cloud shuddered. Not just with his shoulders, either; it was a full body shudder, shaking him from head to toe, making Zack feel bad for it.

“I can't lose you, Cloud,” Zack whispered, his voice breaking a little. “Not like that. Not again. Why? Tell me what you can gain by knowing this!”

Cloud looked up, making eye contact for the first time during this conversation. “He put--he put ghosts in my head,” he finally replied. “People. I hear them talking sometimes. I don't know if they're real or not. I mean--I don't think most of them are. But there's this one, she said she was a Cetra, and I only see her when I'm asleep, a-and she said she was a dreamwalker, and dreamwalkers were actually real, Zack. But what if she's not, what if she's just in my head? What if she's Jenova? Jenova is still around, you know. In you, in me, in--I don't know, probably all those people in the lab with you. And she'll _use_ you. We're all her fucking puppets, you know? Even Sephiroth. Maybe especially Sephiroth. That wasn't him. You know that, right? It wasn't him anymore in Nibelheim, and not since then...”

Zack's mind was reeling. He didn't know shit about what Jenova was, aside from what Sephiroth had babbled about her and the occasional snippet he overheard Hojo mutter while writing his notes. Some sort of a space alien, an Ancient somehow, even though that didn't make sense. Hojo was using her in his experiments, he knew that. He didn't know what it meant.

“Okay, okay, let me get this straight here a minute,” Zack said, folding his arms over his chest and frowning intently. “Hojo used Jenova in his experiments. Jenova was somehow related to Sephiroth, and because of that, she was able to control him? Like a puppet, you said. And so we have Jenova in us too, and so you're worried this voice in your head might be Jenova trying to get you to do stuff.”

Cloud nodded miserably.

Zack sighed heavily. “Look, Spikes. I don't know much about brains or anything. But it wouldn't surprise me that, if everything you've been through, your brain was just like, 'Welp, I can't deal with this bullshit, so I'm going to make up this other crap instead.' You said at least some of them aren't real, so yeah, maybe they're just a part of you. As for Jenova....” He considered for a moment, and one of the mysteries clicked in his head. “Has she used you as her puppet before?” he asked, his stomach twisting at the idea. “Is that why you don't want to tell me about what happened before?”

At this, Cloud had the good graces to look surprised for a moment before that turned into a guilty expression. He nodded again.

“Okay, well, we'll talk about that later. But tell me. How did she use you before? Did she take control of your body? Did she talk to you in your head like you're describing to me now?”

“...no, she just...my thoughts. She made me believe I had to so things, and I didn't question my own thoughts. And I kept getting confused.”

“That's absolutely nothing like somebody talking to you in your dreams, right?” Zack persisted.

“I guess it isn't,” Cloud finally admitted. “I talked to a scholar in Cosmo Canyon. He said he thought I should listen what the dreamwalker had to say, but I've been scared.”

“That's pretty understandable. But see, now you know Jenova's modus operandi,” Zack pointed out. “You can analyze your own thoughts and ambitions. You can share them with me, if you need a second opinion. You can decide what's you and what isn't you. Remember what the weird dream lady tells you, and recount it to somebody else. It doesn't have to be me. Maybe Tifa would be better at this, or Cid, or Gabe, or even that little Wutain brat you're so fond of. I don't know. Write it down. Just get a second opinion if you don't trust yourself.”

Cloud paused to consider this for a moment. “...I guess. And if I start acting weird, you can probably overpower me, right?”

“Okay, you're going to have to define weird, because you're pretty much constantly matching that description,” Zack told him, quirking an eyebrow.

For some reason, Cloud didn't seem to find that amusing.

“Look, don't worry,” Zack insisted. “You're surrounded with people who care about you and want to help you. Plus, I've got the Jenova thing too, right? So you can also be on the look-out for me acting weird. You know what to look for better than anyone, after all.”

“Okay,” Cloud said softly. “I, um. Just--I just need to ask you one thing.” His mouth twitched and his eyebrows were furrowed, and he was biting his lip slightly. “That notebook I was reading. That was...he actually did that to me? That really happened?”

Zack didn't know how to respond for a moment. He opened his mouth, closed it again, and sighed. “Yeah, Spikes. He did,” he finally replied.

Cloud nodded. “I have--scars. I didn't know what they were from. No, I think I did, I just--didn't _want_ to remember.”

“I'm serious when I say that forgetting about that shit hole was the best thing your brain could have done for you,” Zack replied. He had gaps in his memories, of course, usually coinciding with Hojo doing some new experimental shit on him, but he could still remember the feel of Mako on his skin, the feel of scratching a message to Cloud on the glass of that god awful tube...

Cloud reached up and pushed his hair out of his face, and for a moment, he looked very young and very vulnerable. Zack was struck again by that nameless urge to protect, to tuck this precious thing he had away somewhere where no one could ever hurt him again. He wanted to personally strangle ever single person who had ever tried to mar this perfection, but at the same time, he was keenly aware that it was partially Cloud's experiences that had molded him into this man in front of him. It was almost like the scars and scratches just added to his inner beauty.

No, Zack wouldn't change everything, he decided. But he wouldn't mind going back in time and rescuing that angry and confused Shinra grunt from his entire future. And then he'd go and strangle Hojo anyway, just for good measure.

“Let's...not sit here and dwell on this,” Cloud finally suggested, snapping Zack out of his silent reverie. “Let's go and, I don't know. Let's do _something_.”

“Good idea, Spikes,” Zack replied, nodding. “We haven't sparred yet, have we? Is there any place where we can do that around here?” Fighting always cleared Zack's mind in a way nothing else could, and it'd been _so long_ since he'd gotten to go out and play.

\--

Twenty minutes later, they were outside in the blazing sunshine, standing in the center of an old demolished warehouse. A few of the walls were still standing, but that just served as playground, as far as Zack was concerned. The familiar weight of Buster was in his hands, and he was facing Cloud armed with some shiny piece of shit that he was apparently very fond of.

It was a little disconcerting to see Cloud facing him like this. The other man's stance was almost identical to Zack's own, even down to the way he turned his boot in the dirt just a touch and closed the gap on the hilt between his hands. The last time he had sparred with Cloud, they'd been using shitty practice blades, and Cloud could barely stand his own against Zack's attacks, much less get a hit in. The man in front of him now was a man who had seen a lot of fights and had survived them. Zack had no idea how good Cloud had gotten, but he had a feeling this wasn't going to be easy.

“Hey, Spikes!” Zack called, shifting Buster to one hand and spreading his arms. “What are you waiting for? An open goddamn invitation?”

“I thought I'd give you the opportunity to start,” Cloud replied, “since you're bound to be a bit rusty, huh?”

“Aw, how sweet,” Zack snorted. “Fine, but don't blame me when you have to run home crying to Tifa and have her kiss your boo-boos.”

He resumed his stance and lunged, running full out before jumping at the last moment to bring Buster coming crashing down on top of Cloud. Easy as hell to counter, and he was expecting Buster to crash into Cloud's sword, but suddenly, Cloud wasn't there anymore. There was the sound of skidding from his left, and he spun just in time to deflect Cloud's blade. How the fuck had he moved that fast?

“You sure blew that opening,” Cloud taunted him, grinning.

“Like you said, I'm a little rusty,” Zack retorted, barking out a laugh. “You got fast, Spikes.”

“Nah, you just got slow, old man,” Cloud returned.

“I had to make sure I didn't chop you in half on accident,” Zack protested, jumping back to circle Cloud warily. He just had to find Cloud's weak spot and exploit it. He used to do this with promising recruits all the time, including Cloud.

He made another lunge, and again, instead of parrying, Cloud dodged out of the way without much issue. That was fine. Cloud's fighting style was messy when it came to discipline, and Zack could take advantage of that. This was a guy who had the basics of swordplay down and then had gone on and learned on his own by actually killing things. There was something to say for that sort of learning; Zack didn't always know what to expect from his swings, but at the same time, he wasted a lot of his own strength.

As far as weak points went, though, it was a fairly good one to have if you were infused with Mako and had nearly unlimited strength. Too bad for Cloud, Zack was also infused for Mako. Cloud was going to run out of energy before Zack did.

If Zack lasted long enough, that was. Cloud's speed was unbelievable. He didn't hit as hard as Zack did, but he could dodge just about anything Zack threw at him. At this rate, he wasn't sure how much more he could parry. Cloud had already scored two light taps against him, one on his arm and one on his thigh, and Zack hadn't even gotten close to Cloud. He was slow and clumsy, having not sparred in a while, and Cloud wasn't holding back against him. That was fine, because he was having a fucking blast.

This went on for well over an hour, and in the process, they attracted quite a crowd. They were both slowing down at this point, and there were a lot more pauses while they stood there, circling each other and panting for breath rather than rushing right back into the fray. Their audience was whooping and cheering, jeering them on when they paused, and it was a great rush.

The other advantage Cloud had, Zack had begun to realize, is his utter and complete lack of chivalry. Zack had learned swordplay in a strictly monitored environment, against people he didn't actually want to kill. Dirty fighting was not acceptable, and they'd beat that tactic out of him first thing. Cloud didn't have that disadvantage.

And that was how it ended. Cloud leapt into action, suddenly, showering Zack with a number of downward blows, and then landing in a crouch. Zack went to adjust to Cloud's position, and instead received a numbing impact of Cloud's boot straight up into his jaw. He flew backwards a few feet and landed on his back, dazed, and he lost his grip on Buster.

Zack blinked against the blinding agony his entire jaw had become and coughed once. Cloud was looking down at him, Buster in one hand and his own blade in the other.

“You win,” Zack groaned, putting his hands up by his head as he offered a weak grin.

Cheers came from all sides, and Cloud looked around, embarrassed. He set the two swords aside and offered a hand down to Zack to help him up. “That was fun,” he said with a boyish grin as he wiped the sweat out of his eyes.

“Won't be so fun next time, you little shit,” Zack teased, rubbing his chin as they started walking back toward the bar. He high-fived Juanita as he went by, even though he had lost. “Goddamn. You got pretty good there, you know that?”

“I saved the world,” Cloud replied, puffing out his chest. “I'm awesome.”

Zack laughed and threw an arm around Cloud's shoulders. “You sure are,” he replied, meaning it.

Cloud scoffed and slid his arm around Zack's waist in return. “I get first shower,” he said, “since I won.”

“You cheated,” Zack pouted, sticking his nose into Cloud's gross, sweaty spikes as they walked. “But you smell worse than I do, so I guess I'll have to accept that.”

“Augh. That is your stench permeating my body from your proximity,” Cloud snorted.

He pulled away from Zack then to sheath the heavy sword on his back harness, thereby blocking the view of his great ass. Zack was sad for a moment, and then confused at the thought that had just popped into his head. Of course Cloud had a cute little ass, but...when had he started looking at it, anyway?

This was an interesting turn of events. Zack wasn't really sure what to think of this development. So he was attracted to Cloud. That wasn't really new; he'd always thought Cloud was cute. But back in Shinra, romantic commitments weren't something he was terribly invested in. He wasn't interested in losing Cloud as a friend, and Cloud wasn't interested in casual sex, so he'd never bothered pursuing it. There was plenty of tail to chase around, after all.

Cloud was a commitment in and of his own, and that was fine. Zack hadn't been looking for attachment in Shinra, and especially not with someone as young and naive as Cloud. The closest he'd gotten was Aeris, and even that was a no strings attached sort of deal.

But Zack wasn't nineteen anymore and Cloud wasn't sixteen. The attachment he felt for Cloud now was way stronger than anything he had ever felt for anyone. Friendship or romance, it almost didn't matter; Zack wanted to stay by Cloud's side for the rest of his life. He'd been willing to die for this man in a heartbeat. He had been willing to drag him to the other goddamn side of the planet to try and keep him safe, to help him recover. He had never given up on Cloud, not once. Was it any surprise to anyone that he loved Cloud Strife?

He wondered what had taken him so long to notice, honestly.

He wasn't looking for a quick fuck anymore; he could have gotten that easily with one of the patrons of the bar that literally made up the downstairs of the apartment he lived in. He was looking for a partner. Cloud was so much more than a friend, he was someone Zack could trust, could protect and be protected by. He completed Zack.

Amused and contented concerning his private revelation, Zack accepted that he wasn't going anywhere for a long while. He decided that was something he could live with.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for blood mentions, and if you are emetophobic, you might wanna skip the beginning of this. :C

Cloud took a twenty minute shower, because fuck Zack, and also because he wasn't using much of any hot water. Then came the fun activity of creeping back into his bedroom and trying to ignore the mess of papers and notebooks all over the place. They had gone out to get his mind off of this topic, and it had worked. But he was still going to have to clean this mess up before he went to sleep. Ugh. And he still needed clothes.

He changed quickly, tossed his towel over the door, and shouted down the hallway that the shower was free. Then he headed back into the bedroom. Might as well put it away while Zack was in the shower.

He didn't look at anything while he cleaned it up, letting his exhaustion blur his vision as he worked. It didn't take long, since he wasn't bothering to organize anything. He put the lid on the last box and kicked them all into the closet. There. He decided he should probably just burn all that shit later on. Zack was right; it was better that he didn't remember.

Zack was showering with the door open because he was Zack, singing off key opera lyrics at the top of his lungs.

“Hey, Maestro, I'm going downstairs to get food,” Cloud called into the bathroom.

“Leave some for me!” Zack yelled back, and then went back to singing.

Cloud traveled down the stairs slowly, already feeling the strain in his muscles from that workout, and exhaustion weighing him down. He was looking forward to the sleep he was going to have tonight. With any luck, he would be tired enough just to straight up pass out and not dream at all.

The bar wasn't too busy at this time of day, so Cloud just settled on a bar stool next to Gabe, who was chatting amicably with Lydia.

“No, no, it's not like that!” he was protesting, laughing a bit. “Your cooking is fantastic. I love your cooking! It just doesn't like me so much these days.”

“So you're telling me to ease up on the peppers, huh,” Lydia replied, smiling. “All right, all right. No super spicy special tonight, then. Ah, good afternoon, Cloud!”

“Hey, Lydia. I'll take the super spicy special, if he doesn't want it,” Cloud announced. “Give me all the peppers you don't use on his.”

“You got it,” she replied, winking. “It's actually beef stew today, but apparently that's too spicy for poor Gabe here!”

“That sounds fantastic,” Cloud told her with a grin. “I mean it about those peppers, though. Oh, I was told that I couldn't have all of it and that I need to save some for Zack.”

“I'll leave him a little something! But I heard you knocked him flat, so you get the bigger plate,” Lydia replied jokingly as she disappeared into the kitchen.

“Quite the battle you two had out there,” Gabe commented once Lydia was out of sight.

Cloud was kind of embarrassed of the attention they'd attracted. “So, everybody was watching, huh?” he asked, rubbing the back of his head.

“Just about the whole city, I think,” Gabe teased, stifling a cough with his hand. “Me and Lydia missed it, I'm afraid.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Breakfast caught up with me,” Gabe admitted sheepishly.

“Well, I kicked his ass,” Cloud declared decisively.

Gabe grinned. “I heard you two were a pretty even match, until you kicked him in the face,” he replied.

“I was going easy on him,” Cloud replied. He was, actually, just a little. Zack was out of practice, and Cloud wasn't, so it was only fair that he cut him _some_ slack. That didn't mean he was going to let Zack win. Once Zack was back in the swing of things, he wasn't sure he'd be able to beat him. So he would take what victories he could.

“So are you two, like, you know....” Gabe trailed off, frowning.

“Are we what?” Cloud asked.

“Like, together?”

“Uh, together how?”

“Like...” Gabe was turning red. “You know.”

Cloud gave him a blank look.

“Like...dating?”

Cloud choked on his tongue.

“No. No, we're not, we're just--we're friends,” he managed.

“Ah--sorry, shit, I'm sorry, sir,” Gabe said, putting his hands in the air.

“No--no, it's okay, we're just, yeah, I can see how you'd think that,” Cloud admitted. “And, well, you're not actually wrong about the way I swing, but yeah. We're good friends, but that's it.”

Gabe didn't stop blushing, though. He looked distinctly uncomfortable. Cloud frowned, about to reassure him again, but then he started coughing. Not just light coughing like before, but deep, wet coughs that you could just tell were painful.

“Gabe? Hey, man, you okay?” Cloud asked, grabbing a glass of water from the counter.

Gabe tried to nod and refused the water. He slid off of his stool, landing unsteadily on his feet. “I just--I don't--” he managed, staggering a little.

Cloud grabbed his arm and slung it around his shoulders to keep him upright. Gabe flashed him a very worried looking glance. “Toilet,” he got out, and slapped a hand over his mouth.

They almost made it. Once they were inside the little men's room, Gabe pulled away from Cloud and leaned over the sink. Cloud winced and went and got a handful of paper towels. He went them down in the other sink and carefully mopped off the back of Gabe's neck while he was sick.

He was trying not to look at the sink, but it was hard to miss what was going on. And there was something very wrong.

He handed Gabe another fistful of paper towels. “Do you, uh, have an ulcer or something?” he asked.

Gabe was very pale. He'd noticed the blood in the sink too. “No,” he said quietly.

“Okay, uh, I think we need to go to the hospital, then,” Cloud told him, frowning. “Here--” He grabbed the towel from the nape of Gabe's neck and wiped down the rest of his face. “Don't worry, I'll drive you. You're probably just---stressed or something.”

“...yeah, okay.” Gabe turned on the sink and leaned against the wall while Cloud cleaned it out with more paper towels. It would have to do until someone could clean it better.

Gabe was a little unsteady still, so Cloud grabbed his arm to steady him and led him out to the bar. Tifa was out, cleaning the counter. She looked up, her cheerful expression quickly turning into one of concern when she saw Gabe.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, frowning and rounding the counter. 

“Gabe's pretty sick,” Cloud replied. “I'm gonna take the truck and drive him to the hospital. Oh, and...you might want to clean out the sink in the men's room.”

“Right, I'll get on that,” she replied, nodding. “Take Lydia with you, for moral support. She'll be worried sick if she stays here.”

“No, it's really not that big of a deal,” Gabe whined pathetically, and started coughing again.

“Go grab her while I get him out in the truck,” Cloud sighed.

“She doesn't need to come,” Gabe mumbled as Cloud led him outside.

“I know she doesn't, but she'll feel better trying to help, and you'll feel better with her there,” Cloud promised him. “She's a smart lady, and she'll know she didn't feed you something bad. Let her baby you a little bit, man. Anyone who pukes up blood deserves that much.”

The truck was old and had had to have lots of repair work done to it before it'd run again, but by now it ran pretty well for what it was. It was kind of the shared vehicle for those who lived in the bar, although Cloud's general destinations were either something he could walk to or something he had to fly in the airship to. Still, it was useful to have around, even if it had a peeling logo for “Pete's Pizzeria” on the side, and if you got a flat tire, you had to jack the entire thing up professionally because the bottom of it was more rust than metal.

Cloud helped Gabe up into the truck, and just as he did, Lydia came bustling out of the bar, all worry. She settled in the middle seat between Gabe and Cloud, and Cloud took the wheel.

Gabe didn't have anymore incidents in the truck, which was a relief. In fact, as they arrived at the Midgar Community Hospital forty-five minutes later, he claimed he felt a lot better. “I mean, my stomach still hurts a bit, but not really that much,” he insisted to Lydia. He was still pale, though, and Cloud could see the sweat beading on his forehead. He was putting on a brave face for Lydia, but he wasn't going to deny that he needed to see a doctor.

It took them a long while to get into see someone. Midgar Community was a massive hospital, but it was the only standing medical building in the city so it was constantly bustling with patients and visitors and staff. Gabe went in on his own, and twenty minutes later, a nurse came out to inform Cloud and Lydia that he had been admitted.

“It's something going around,” the nurse said, frowning at a chart. “We're not sure what it is just yet, to be perfectly honest, but we've had some promising results concerning treatment. Still, we need to monitor him to make sure his condition doesn't worsen, so we're going to keep him here for a few days.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Lydia asked, fluttering around Cloud's elbow nervously.

“We can't say for sure at this point,” the nurse replied. “I'm sorry I can't give you anything better than this.” He sighed and put the chart down. “You can see him, though, if you'd like.”

After a visit with poor Gabe, lying in a bed miserably and hooked up to several important looking machines, Cloud had had enough. He found the nearest payphone and called the President's private number, collect.

“Tuesti speaking,” came the reply, three rings in.

“Reeve, it's me,” Cloud said. “I'm at the hospital, and I'm finding out suddenly there are a bunch of people here with weird symptoms and no cure. What the fuck is going on?”

There was a pause, and then a heavy sigh. “Collins convinced me it'd be better to keep this under wraps for now,” he admitted. The name Collins was familiar to Cloud, but he wasn't sure who it referred to. He assumed it was the Head of the Medical Department or something like that. “But as it turns out, we might have something of an epidemic on our hands. It's a disease we call Endosomatosis.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Cloud snapped, irritated. “One of your best army men is hooked up to a bunch of shit and puking up blood because you didn't spread any information on this.”

“It isn't lethal, Cloud. Nobody's died. We just haven't figured out how to fix it yet.”

“Or how to keep it from spreading, obviously!”

“Cloud, please calm down. Midgar is in enough of a sad state right now that something like this would do nothing but cause panic. Besides, it's hardly a secret. They've been talking about it on the news for some time now,” Reeve assured him. “It's not even contained to Midgar.”

“What? You mean it's already spreading outside the city?”

“It didn't _start_ here. As far as we can tell, Wutai was the first place to start showing symptoms. It started showing up here, and Junon, and a few other places. We've got all the best medical professionals working on this together. We're not just sitting on our hands here.”

Cloud sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Okay, okay, fine. So you're just withholding information to keep from causing a panic. It's shitty, but I'm not the politician here, so whatever. What kind of illness are we talking about here? Gabe was puking up blood.”

“I'm not any sort of doctor, but from what I understand, this disease weakens a part of the body to the point of injury. Oftentimes, if it's a surface injury, they'll get some sort of rash-like appearance there first. Your friend's probably started in his digestive system somewhere. But we've had people with old cuts reopening and refusing to heal. We can contain the injury, and we can keep out infection, for the most part, but as far as fixing the underlying problem, we're at a loss. And materia and potions are useless as well.”

“Great. This is fantastic. Do we have any idea how this started?”

“We're looking into it. Let me worry about this, all right?”

Cloud snorted. “Right, because you don't have enough to worry about to start with,” he groaned. “All right, all right, I'll let you go be important.”

“I meant to tell you,” Reeve said, apologetically. “I just get so busy.”

“Yeah, yeah. Take it easy, Reeve. Really.”

“I will. See you later.”

Cloud hung up the phone and groaned again. He needed to check on Marcus. If this was affecting old wounds, then already open wounds would be more susceptible, and if they didn't know how it spread, well. Then the hospital would probably be the worst place to be.

But Marcus was doing very well, the nurses told him. Currently, he was sitting up in bed and enjoying his dinner with his granddaughter. He was recovering faster than they had expected and showed no signs of infection. Cloud didn't stick around to say hi, but instead went back to find Lydia and Gabe.

Gabe seemed to be feeling a bit better. A nurse was taking his temperature, so he just smiled and waved at Cloud when he reentered the room.

“I need to look into some stuff back at the bar,” Cloud commented, settling down in the empty chair near Gabe's bed. “Lydia, do you want to come now or try and catch the train later?”

“Oh, I think I'll stay a little longer,” Lydia replied, patting Gabe's hand affectionately. “I don't want him sitting here by himself a minute longer than he needs to. I mean, if you think Tifa and Zuri will be okay at the bar without me?”

“Don't worry about that. We'll take care of the bar,” Cloud promised her. “Even if I'm up all night washing dishes.”

She smiled at him, though it was a worried smile.

“Thanks, Cloud,” Gabe said, yawning a bit. “I'll be okay, though. Don't worry about me. Really.”

“Of course. You're a big boy. You can pull through,” Cloud teased, giving him a half smile. “Hey, but just out of curiosity. Have you ever had some sort of stomach injury before?”

“Sure. You think this is related?” Gabe asked. “I got a piece of small shrapnel stuck in there in a training accident when I first got recruited. That was years ago. I had it removed without any issues. I can't imagine it acting up now.”

“I was just curious,” Cloud replied.

He drove home, alone, in the dark of evening, with a thousand thoughts on his mind and not one idea of how to start dealing with this.

\--

Tifa, Zuri, Celia, and Zack were all waiting for him when he got back. The bar was empty, as though Cloud was later than he thought, or they had just closed early. The latter was the case, as was proved by a glance at his watch. It was barely after ten o'clock.

“There you are, Spikes,” Zack said, standing up. “How's Gabe?”

Cloud wasn't sure how much to tell everyone. He didn't want to worry anybody who didn't need to be worried about it yet. “They think he's doing okay, but they admitted him to make sure,” he finally said. “Lydia wanted to stay with him for a bit. She said she'd take the train back.”

“Is it that bad?” Celia asked worriedly.

“I don't know. The nurse said they've had a couple of people in with similar things lately,” Cloud replied. “They didn't seem too concerned.”

“I think I saw something about that on the news,” Tifa admitted. “The report said there hadn't been any casualties from it, but that they didn't know how it was spreading.”

“Sounds like it's not as bad as it could be, at least,” Zuri commented.

Tifa nodded. “That's a relief.”

Celia still looked worried, but she didn't say anything.

“We'll wait up to hear for Lydia, and then one of us will drive you back to the apartment, okay, Celia?” Zuri said, patting the smaller girl's shoulder companionably. She just nodded.

Zack was giving Cloud an odd look, as though he was aware there was more to the story. He probably was. “I'm heading up,” Cloud announced. “Let me know if you hear anything about Gabe.”

Zack followed him silently up the stairs after wishing everyone a good night. After Cloud locked the door, he headed into the living room and kicked his boots off, settling on the sofa. Cloud followed him a moment later. “Sorry for up and bolting like that,” he said, flopping into his favorite armchair. “That whole incident really freaked me out.”

Snorting, Zack regarded him with a half smile. “If some guy by me is spewing blood, I'm not going to wait around either,” he pointed out. “How is he? Really?”

“Honestly, he seemed pretty good when I headed out,” Cloud replied. “It's just...”

Zack looked at him.

“...well, it seemed kind of weird. The nurse said there were similar cases and that we shouldn't worry because they had some effective treatments,” Cloud continued thoughtfully. “But they didn't give us any sort of prognosis or even give us a name for it. So I called Reeve.

“I didn't really ask how much I was supposed to share, so keep this under wraps for now, all right? Basically, we have some sort of worldwide epidemic on our hands here, and nobody has the slightest fucking clue what to do about it. It started in Wutai a few months ago, and it's moved here and Junon, probably other places too. They don't even know how it spreads yet. No recorded fatalities, but...” He shrugged helplessly.

“So the new government hides information as much as the old one does, what a shock,” Zack mused.

“Yeah,” Cloud replied. “He said he didn't want to start a panic.”

“Typical,” Zack mumbled, rubbing his chin.

“What do we do about this?” Cloud asked, frowning.

“What can we do, Spikes? I'm not a doctor, so finding a cure isn't really my forte here,” Zack responded. “And short of moving to an island away from everybody else and living off the land, I don't really see any options here. Not to mention you got puked on by an infected guy today, so that's probably out.”

“I did, didn't I?” Cloud groaned, rubbing his forehead. “They didn't put me into quarantine or anything, though.”

“The very word 'quarantine' would inspire panic, Spikes,” Zack pointed out. “If that's what they're trying to avoid, well, they're being idiots about it, but here we are.”

“Maybe we can find out something more about its origins,” Cloud mumbled. “There's been some weird stuff going on in Wutai anyway, according to Yuffie. They thought it was the change in weather patterns, but what if it isn't?”

“Whoa there, kid, you're going a million miles an hour in a random direction,” Zack told him. “There's nothing we can do about some disease.”

“I can't just sit here and let it kill Gabe,” Cloud said, suddenly angry.

“Who said anything about Gabe dying?” Zack asked, frowning. “I thought you said there hadn't been any fatalities from it.”

“Yet. I said yet. It hasn't killed anybody, but no one's gotten better from it either.”

Zack pushed his hair back out of his eyes, blowing out a sigh. “Spikes, I don't have a clue what we could possibly do about this,” he said. “This isn't something I'm trained to fight. The hospital is the best place Gabe can be, I guess.”

Something occurred to Cloud. “Marcus is okay,” he said.

“What?”

“Marcus. I thought, you know, he might be more susceptible to it, since he just had that surgery, so I went to check on him. He's okay. He doesn't have it.”

“Oh.” Zack looked like he wasn't sure what to think about this, or anything. “Thanks.”

There was a long pause between them.

“I'm going to Wutai,” Cloud announced. “Next time Cid is in town, I'll get him to bring me. Even if I can't do anything about this whatever-osis bullshit, I can try to help Yuffie with the crumbling statue.”

Zack sighed heavily, sat up on the sofa, and rubbed his head. “All right. Let's make it a date,” he said. “I've been sitting around here too long anyway, as is evidenced by letting you kick my ass today.” He rubbed his jaw, which was starting to bruise a little bit.

Cloud was secretly relieved. He had been hoping Zack would come with him. “Good, because I wasn't about to let you stay in my place by yourself. I don't trust you _that_ much.” It was a sad attempt at humor, but it was an attempt.

“Smart move,” Zack replied, nodding. “I wouldn't trust myself here alone either. I know where you keep your underwear.”


	8. Chapter 8

That evening, Cloud was ready. He was exhausted from the very long day and aware of the fact that he was probably going to be visited by Lillith again tonight. He had a good deal of things he wanted to ask her.

Just for his own sake, he left his bedroom door open a little bit, in case something happened, and he knew Zack was near and would come if he called. He wasn't going to need that last bit, because this whole thing was stupid and probably just his brain playing tricks on him. But it was nice for the reassurance.

Knowing what he was trying to do, it was a little difficult to fall asleep, and once he was dreaming, it was more difficult to remember to set up for Lillith's arrival. But he managed, and eventually, he found himself sitting in a cozy little diner, completely empty except for him in one booth and his coffee. The lights were dim and outside was nothing but gray skies and pavement. Quiet jazz music played from a radio in the empty kitchen.

Cloud sat in a booth with his back to the door. Not something he'd do if he was awake, he reflected with some amusement. But in this world, he was in control. He didn't need the extra protection.

The door jingled as someone came in, and he knew it was her without looking up. There was a pause, and then quiet footsteps approached. Lillith was wearing her typical white dress again today, but she had dressed for the occasion by adding a gray trench coat over the top.

“Hello,” she said. “May I sit with you?”

Cloud gestured to the free seat across from him.

“I appear to have kept you waiting,” she commented, looking around the diner as she carefully slid into her seat.

“Yeah. I've been expecting you. Coffee?”

“Thank you. Are you ready to talk?”

“I guess it depends,” he replied, shrugging. “See, the thing is, I still don't trust you. I don't know if you're a part of my head or if you're an evil space alien invading my dreams or if you really are what you say you are. And I don't know how you're going to prove anything, since I'm asleep.”

She shrugged. “I'm not asking you to trust me. I guess I just need you to listen,” she said. “Well, I guess I need you to trust what I'm saying might be true. Consider it at least.”

“I'm here to listen. I'll judge later, while I'm awake. But first--Lillith, right? Why are you talking to me of all people? I'm probably the last choice the Cetra would make in terms of picking someone to talk to.”

“You're the only person I could find who can hear me,” she said. “You have the blood of the Planet in your veins. There's no one else listening.”

Cloud gave her an odd look. “There are plenty of people who have Mako infused into their bodies. My best friend has Mako, and he's never betrayed you,” he explained.

But she shook her head. “There's something else contaminating the others,” she replied. “I'm aware of them, but I can't speak to them.”

“Contaminating?” he asked, his mind automatically going to their odd new disease. “What do you mean? How are they contaminated?”

She quirked a bitter smile. “The one who caused the eventual extinction of the Cetra. Jenova. Perhaps you've heard of her.”

There was a long moment of silence where Cloud stared at her. “Jenova. You can't talk to people with Jenova in them?” he asked incredulously.

“That's right.”

“You're lying. I have Jenova in me.”

She shook her head. “No. I thought so too, at first? But it's more like, she left a fingerprint on you, almost. Like you've just picked up her scent or something. She used to be there, but she isn't anymore.”

“And Jenova would be the first one who would want me to believe that,” he snapped.

“That is true,” she responded thoughtfully. “Well, I can't make you believe that, I suppose. But you were here to listen to me, regardless. Am I wrong?”

Cloud glared at her, scowling. “No. But don't you fucking dare try anything. I can wake up anytime. I can push you out whenever I want.”

“I know. I can't do anything to you like this anyway, other than to talk.”

He settled in, sipping at his coffee and gesturing for her to begin.

“I'm here to warn you about a new threat to the Planet. The Planet still speaks to us, in the Lifestream, and we still aid it. I don't know who you are or anything about you, but you are the only one who I can speak to. I don't know why you have the Lifestream in you, and I don't know why someone like you would ever have been involved with the Calamity from the Skies.”

“I'm familiar with threats to the Planet. I'm the one who killed Sephiroth,” he stated flatly.

Lillith's eyes lit up. “So you _are_ the hero of the Planet!” she exclaimed. “I wondered if that might be the case.”

“I wouldn't go that far.”

“Don't be silly. Look, I know this is going to be asking a lot of you, especially since you've had to deal with this before. But the Planet, it's still ailing. It tries to speak to you, but you're a human. You can't understand it, can you?”

Cloud shook his head, frowning. “How is it still sick? We stopped all the reactors. We even tried to return the materia to the Lifestream, but it didn't work. What else can we do?”

“No. It's still being used, and this time, it's being used to twist things around against its own self. I don't know how to explain it.” She frowned. “It's like, the power from the Lifestream is being used to contaminate it. I believe Jenova is behind it.”

“So she is still around,” he sighed, rubbing his head. “Of course she is. We never did find her head. What does this mean? The Lifestream is poisoned?”

“Not exactly. Those who draw from the Lifestream to live--they are the ones who suffer. It is much the same as the virus that Jenova spread to the Cetra many years ago to try and destroy us.”

He started in his seat. “An illness?” he asked.

“You know of it.” Her eyes were sad. “So, it has already begun.”

Slamming his hands on the table, he looked her in the eye. “Tell me what you know.”

She closed her eyes for a moment and nodded. “Two thousand years ago came the Calamity from the Skies. That Calamity was the one you humans call Jenova. She emerged from the ruins of the north and approached our people, pretending to be a friend. They took her in and cared for her. And then she poisoned them each, one by one, by touching the Lifestream that they allowed her access to. Her virus caused their old wounds to become new again, and the virus stopped them from healing again. No magic could help, and time did not knit their skin back together.”

“What happened? How did you fix it?”

“We didn't. We imprisoned her before she could infect all of us. We worked so long and so hard to heal them, but we never succeeded. Some lived a long time, but each one eventually succumbed to the virus. We lost...so many of us.”

He put a hand over his face. “There is no cure?”

“I'm sorry.” She sounded genuinely apologetic. “I had hoped to warn you before it started.”

“So you stopped it by containing Jenova,” Cloud put in, marching the subject along. He did not want to dwell on this. “But how can we do that now? We destroyed every bit of her we could find.”

“She can't act alone since you did that. She needs someone to be her body. When you find the puppet, you can find the strings that attach him to the puppeteer.”

He looked at her, long and hard. “And that puppeteer isn't you, huh?”

She smiled sadly. “I suppose it wouldn't be hard to view it that way.” She paused to sip the last of her coffee and then stood up, pulling her jacket around her. “The battle is yours, I'm afraid. I want to offer my assistance, but this is all I can give.”

“Will I see you again?” he asked.

“I don't know. Do you want me to come back?”

“No. But I might need to talk to you again.”

She nodded. “Well, look for me then,” she said, and then walked to the door.

\--

Over coffee the next morning, a very dejected Cloud relayed the information he had gotten from Lillith to Zack. Zack was quiet through the exchange, his eyes faraway and considering as he listened.

“I don't even know what to think,” Cloud finally finished. “Is this Jenova trying to get me to be her puppet again, or is she actually for real?”

Zack sighed into his coffee. “I don't know. What confuses me the most is what she said about you not having Jenova cells in you. We know you do,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, I did anyway. Maybe--” Cloud paused, shaking his head. “Do you think there's a possibility that they could be gone?”

“No idea.”

Cloud recalled standing in the bottom of that crater, after they'd defeated Sephiroth and Jenova finally, when he had felt his mind be whisked away by that last remnant of Sephiroth. He remembered the Lifestream flowing through him, the red particles leaving him and being cleansed, almost, by the Lifestream. It hadn't been real--just a very vivid hallucination, as was proved a few moments later when he reached for Aeris' hand and found Tifa instead. But maybe it had meant something.

“If it's Jenova, then why did she pick me?” Cloud asked his coffee cup. “It doesn't make sense. There's you, and anyone else who was with you who got the same testing. I'm already suspecting her to try something. That's what makes me want to trust this lady.”

“Spikes, you know I'll go with you wherever you go, and obviously you've gotta be the one to make a choice,” Zack said, “but if this is Jenova trying a new way to manipulate you, then I'm probably not going to be able to help you.”

“You helped me before,” Cloud insisted.

“Just because she didn't fuck with my head before doesn't mean she won't now,” Zack replied, shaking his head. “And besides, if what you told me is true, maybe she was leading me to Midgar and I never even fucking realized it. I'm not saying we shouldn't go. I'm just saying it might not be a bad idea to have somebody else in on the topic, you know?”

Cloud nodded slowly. He had a point.

“Fine. Chances are we'll need the airship to travel, and if we have the airship, we'll have Cid. And there are a couple of other people who I can trust with this,” he decided. “So then, what's our next move? Wutai is a start, but I haven't any idea if it's a good start.”

Zack sighed heavily, leaning back in his chair and looking off to the side, out the window. “I have an idea, but I don't like it,” he said.

“Tell me.”

“Well...I was just thinking, there is still someone alive who knows quite a bit about Mako and Jenova. I don't like it at all, but--”

“Are you fucking saying we ask Hojo for help?” Cloud snapped, suddenly angry.

“I don't know. I don't know what else to do here, Spikes,” Zack replied, looking back at Cloud. It was obvious that the suggestion left an awful taste in his mouth too. “I'd like to see him again anyway, you know? I've got a bit of a score to settle.”

Cloud sat in silence. He had no idea how to respond to this. Of course he wanted Hojo dead. He wanted to remove the professor's head from his body himself, wanted to feel his blood on his hands, wanted to burn the fucker's corpse into ash. But he also wanted to run the opposite direction until he was as far from Hojo as was possible.

“I don't know if I can face him again,” he finally admitted.

“Yeah, I know. I feel the same way,” Zack replied. His eyes were smoldering with some controlled rage, but there was worry there too. “But we're not going alone, remember?”

“We're going to leave Cid to deal with him alone?” Cloud asked incredulously.

Zack snorted. “I meant we'll be together, you dumbass,” he replied. “But yeah, Cid will be there too, and whoever else ends up on this idiotic mission. If we save the world, it'll be worth it, right?”

Cloud put his elbows on the table and leaned forward so he could put his head between them. “Sure. Right,” he mumbled. “No problem.”

“So you call up your president buddy and ask him if we can get some intel on Hojo's whereabouts. Old Company or New Company, Shinra's got its spies out there. I'll bet you anything he knows more than you do about this.”

“That fucker hates telling me stuff, it's true,” Cloud said, addressing the table.

“He's a politician. It's part of his job description to withhold the truth 'for the greater good.' Don't blame him.” Zack paused, and Cloud lifted his head slightly, watching Zack worry at his lower lip for a moment before continuing. “So what is this disease even called again?”

“Endo....something? Fuck. I don't know.”

“And this Lillith of yours is telling you that it's the disease that Jenova used to kill off the Cetra?”

Cloud sighed, letting his head smack down onto the tabletop again. “Yeah.”

“Fuck it. I'm calling it Jenovitis,” Zack declared.

Cloud snorted a laugh, because he couldn't help it. “That isn't even funny.”

“Heh. Yeah, I know.”

There was silence between them for a few moments.

“I don't want to deal with this, Zack.”

There was a shuffle of material and a sigh, and then Cloud felt hands on his shoulders, warm and gentle. “Me neither,” he said quietly. “But I don't really trust anybody else to do it, either. Come on, Spikes. Let's get our asses moving.”

“I want to sit here and whine about it for a while first.”

Zack chuckled, rubbing his shoulders for a moment. “All right. You get five minutes, then I'm leaving without you.”

\--

Within the hour, Zack was sending out radio signals to the _Highwind_ , which was due to be around Junon, assuming Cid was able to keep with his schedule, and Cloud was standing in the newly renovated Shinra building, glowering at Reeve's secretary.

“Listen,” Cloud was saying. “I don't _care_ what he's got on the schedule for today. I'm basically doing him a favor in doing this, and I need to speak to him. I don't have time to fuck around in here.”

“I'm sorry, sir,” the surprisingly steely brunette said for the fourth time, completely intimidated by Cloud's presence. He was actually kind of impressed, and he was definitely going to suggest she get a pay raise or something, because if this wasn't him trying to get into the office, she'd be doing awesome. “The president is not seeing civilians today. If you're not on the schedule--”

“Can you just call him and ask if he'll see me?” he groaned.

“I'm sorry, sir.” She opened a desk drawer and pulled out a nail file. “The president is not taking calls right now. Can you see yourself out, or should I call security?”

“Can I use your phone a second?”

She paused, eyed him for a moment, and then put down the nail file. Well, at least he had gotten her curiosity. She turned the phone toward him. “Dial 9 first,” she told him.

Cloud dialed Reeve's personal number. He answered on the second ring, sounding tired. “Yes, it's Tuesti.”

“Hi. It's me. I'm in your office, and your secretary is threatening to call security on me. Can I come in?”

“I--what? Cloud?”

“Yeah. I need to ask you some things, stuff I should probably not talk about over the phone,” Cloud explained shortly. “I'm using your secretary's phone.”

“Oh--I see--um, just a moment--”

There was a click on the other end of the line, and a few moments later, the door to the inner office opened. Reeve poked his head out, and Cloud smugly hung up the phone.

“I'm sorry, Bianca,” Reeve said tiredly. “You can let him in.”

“Thank you,” Cloud told her, smiling and turning the phone back to her.

“My apologies,” Bianca said, raising an eyebrow and gesturing the door.

Cloud followed Reeve into the inner office and closed the door securely behind him. “You should give her a raise. She's damn good,” he commented, nodding toward the outer office.

“She's very efficient, it's true,” Reeve agreed. “Now, what's this about? I really hope you have some good news for me. I could really use some good news right about now.”

“It's about Endoso...whatever you called it. That disease. Zack and I have some ideas about what it might be about,” Cloud explained, walking Reeve back to his desk and sitting down on the edge of it. “And we want to do something about it.”

Reeve gave him an odd look. “Surely you don't have any expertise in this area?”

“Not the disease part, no. But I have an idea that this is something that might have happened before, and I want to look into it. It won't hurt anything to check it out, and if my hunch is right, I might be able to do something about it.”

“This has happened before?”

“Possibly. I'm not sure how reliable my source is,” Cloud admitted. “Either way, it's worth checking out. But I need some help with it.”

“Name it.”

“I need intel. Particularly on the location of Professor Hojo.”

Reeve inhaled sharply. “You think he's behind this?”

“I'm not sure. But I think this might be related to the Lifestream somehow, and there isn't anyone else in the world who knows Mako like he does. It makes me sick to ask, but do you have any idea of where he is?”

There was a long sigh, and Reeve settled in his chair behind his desk. “Nothing confirmed. Sightings, mostly unreliable sources,” he said, flipping on the monitor of his computer. “I've had the Turks on the lookout for him, investigating possible leads. You know he's basically the most wanted man in the world.”

“That's why it seems odd that no one knows where he is,” Cloud pointed out.

“I'll get into contact with Tseng,” Reeve promised. “Check back in with me tomorrow.”

“On a related note, can I borrow Cid and the _Highwind_?”

Reeve quirked an eyebrow. “My intel tells me you've already been trying to contact him.”

Cloud smiled wanly. “I thought it'd be nice to ask, at least.”

\--

After leaving Reeve's office, Cloud's next stop was the hospital to drop in on Gabe. He was in good spirits, as both Lydia and Celia were visiting him this time, although he did not seem very comfortable. He was happy to see Cloud and promised he was feeling better and that he'd be back commanding Reeve's small army again in no time.

Cloud felt immensely guilty, looking at his friend lying there on the sheets. He and Gabe had met back directly after the Meteor incident, when Reeve was still vying for a position of leadership over the remains of Shinra. Despite the lack of a proper governing body, Gabe was organizing the remaining troops into a rescue squadron. He had been a commanding officer in Shinra before the incident, on his way to becoming a Turk, and his leadership skills were on point. He knew how to inspire, how to organize, and how to react to crises without showing any signs of stress.

In the months since Meteor, Gabe's skills had come into play time and time again. Unlike some commanders, who resented the new authority and tried to undermine Reeve whenever they had the chance, Gabe stepped up. He just wanted to help people, he said. That was all he'd ever wanted to do.

Cloud had worked side by side with Gabe, rescuing citizens from the ruined city and organizing response teams. They had become friends quickly, because Cloud could respect Gabe's tactical skills, and Gabe knew how to use someone with a first class SOLDIER's strength and stamina to maximum potential. When Reeve had asked Cloud for advice on putting together some sort of army to try and protect his citizens, Cloud had suggested he ask Gabe.

And now Gabe was lying in that bed, probably dying, and all because Cloud hadn't managed to kill all of Jenova. Probably. He watched as Lydia patted Gabe's hand reassuringly and smiled down at him, and he clenched his fists. He had to save Gabe. There were a lot of other people who needed saving too, but...well, it was like when they went after Sephiroth. It was all good to say they were doing it to save the world. But all of them had had a personal motive too. And there was nothing wrong with that.

After Cloud had said his goodbyes, he turned to leave. As it turned out, someone was waiting there for him, just outside the door. Standing in the shadows and leaning against the wall next to the door, Liam's piercing blue eyes found Cloud's as he stepped out.

“Liam,” he said, quirking an eyebrow. “I didn't know you were buddies with Gabe.”

Liam shrugged and, as Cloud started walking, fell into step beside him. “I came more for the ladies,” he responded. “Actually, I was sort of hoping I'd run into you as well.”

“Oh? You know where to find me most of the time,” Cloud pointed out.

“Just lucky I found you here first then.” The two of them headed down toward the exit.

“What can I do for you?”

“I want to go with you.”

Cloud faltered mid step. “Go with me where?”

“You got me,” Liam replied. “I have no idea where you're going. But I know you're going. You're not the kind of guy to sit around and wait for things to happen. Zack isn't either. This--this virus _thing_ , it isn't what they're telling us on the news, is it? There are too many cases, and this is happening way too fast. They won't even tell us what to look out for.”

“And what makes you think I have any idea of what's going on, or what to do about it? I'm not a fucking doctor, last I checked.”

“You just got that look. You're about to go do something, and I want to help.”

Cloud shrugged dismissively. “I don't even know where we're going, much less when. Talk to Zack about it. He can decide.” He didn't know Liam very well. Zack would know if this guy was trustworthy or not. He'd been trapped in that pit with him for months.

“Well, speak of the devil,” Liam commented, slowing as they reached the main entrance of the hospital.

There was a waiting area to the side of the admissions area and information desk, filled with sofas and chairs set into little squares and decorated with fake plants. Zack was pacing back and forth between two sofas, arms folded over his chest and a brooding expression on his face.

Cloud left Liam's side, quickly heading over to the waiting area. “Zack?”

Zack's head snapped up. “Spikes? What are you doing here?”

“I came to see Gabe. What about you?”

Zack's expression was dark. “Zuri's sick.”

There was a moment of silence, and Cloud put a hand over his face, trying not to flip his shit. This was getting too much, too real, too close. “Where's Tifa? Is she okay?”

“Getting a check up. She doesn't have any symptoms, but...” Zack trailed off, shrugging a little bit.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

Cloud flopped down on one of the sofas, and Zack sat next to him. Liam casually hovered nearby, trying to look like he wasn't listening. Zack's hand sneaked over to Cloud's lap, lacing his fingers in between Cloud's. It was a surprisingly intimate motion, even for someone as touchy as Zack was, but it was far more reassuring than anything Zack could have said at that point.

“I talked to Reeve,” he said, after a long moment of silence. “He's gonna gather some intel. Wants me to call tomorrow. Apparently, he's got the Turks on it.”

“Cid can't get here for another two days, but he's figuring on picking us up,” Zack replied. “We just need to give him a destination.”

“Right.” Cloud sighed a bit, rubbing his jaw tiredly. He wondered what he would do if Tifa was sick. There was a very real possibility anybody already inflicted with the virus wouldn't make it, even if they were able to find Hojo and convince him to help them. Or destroy the rest of Jenova, or whatever they had to do. This was already bad enough with Gabe and Zuri ill. If Tifa got was also infected...

He shook his head. “Two days is too many. We've gotta go now.”

“Spikes. Cool it. We don't even have a destination.”

Cloud turned his gaze balefully in Zack's direction. “I can't deal with more people getting sick. I can't deal with fucking sitting here and waiting!”

“You're going to have to, because we can't _do_ anything about it right now,” Zack told him, squeezing his hand tightly. “Listen. I know you're all revved up to go. I am too, honestly. But there is literally nothing that we can do right this minute except wait, and plan. Right now, we've gotta wait to hear how Tifa is doing. Then we go home, we figure out what we need. We'll map out where we're going on the airship. This is the best we can do right now.”

“It's frustrating,” Cloud pouted.

“Fuck, I know. Believe me.”

There was another stretch of silence between them. Zack shifted, and Cloud leaned his head back to stare at nothing. This was how it was going to be, then. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for everyone he cared about to fall ill and probably die.

Zack let go of his hand suddenly, and Cloud startled, looking up. Tifa was walking toward them, looking worried and upset, but definitely not in a hospital gown.

Cloud was on his feet in a moment, rushing over to her. “Tifa!” His hands were on her shoulders, looking her over worriedly. “Tifa, are you all right? I was here to see Gabe and Zack told me what happened.”

Tifa looked up at him, her expression absolutely heartbreaking. “Zuri's sick,” she said, sounding tired.

“I know,” he murmured apologetically, hugging her tightly. She wrapped her arms around his back and pressed her face into his shoulder. “I'm sorry, Tifa. I...we're going to figure this out, okay?”

She didn't reply to that, only hugged him more tightly, and he reflected that he'd never felt so powerless as he did in that moment. He wanted nothing more than to protect Tifa, his beautiful, perfect Tifa, who had never deserved any of this bullshit. He knew he couldn't protect her from everything, and he knew better than to think she couldn't handle herself, but that didn't mean he couldn't try.

“Come walk with me a minute. I want to fill you in on some things,” Cloud told her. The least he could do was tell her that they had a lead.

She nodded, and he left one arm around her shoulders as they walked. He glanced over his shoulder at Zack, who motioned him to go and seemed to be talking with Liam anyway.

The courtyard that branched off from the lobby was significantly emptier than the waiting area, probably due to the oppressive heat. It wasn't ideal as far as privacy went, but it was definitely better than inside. Although there weren't many plants yet, the greenery that was present was nice, and someday, when the flowers were blooming and the trees growing bigger, it was going to be a beautiful place for a walk.

“So you're all right, though?” Cloud asked as they walked together down a stone laid path.

“They didn't find anything,” she replied. “It's so weird. Zuri broke her leg when she was little, and now they say it's weakened in the same place. And somehow this has something to do with what Gabe has? It's so confusing.”

“It's...not an normal illness,” he admitted, avoiding eye contact for a moment. “We--me and Zack, we've been looking into it. I talked to Reeve when Gabe got sick. I didn't want to say anything, because technically we're not supposed to know about it. But we might have a lead. When Cid visits next, we're going to follow up on it, see if we can't figure out what's causing this.”

Tifa glanced up at him. “Where are you going?” she asked.

“Not totally sure yet. We're waiting on some intel from Reeve,” he replied, biting his lip. “We think it's got something to do with Jenova. So we're going to find Professor Hojo.”

“What?” Tifa pulled away from him, her eyes wide. “You think Jenova is infecting people with something? How? And how are you going to find Hojo?”

“Reeve's got people,” he replied, frowning. “And I don't know. It's kind of speculation at this point. If anyone knows about it, though, it'll be him.” His mouth twisted in distaste.

“I want to go with you.”

He nodded. “I thought you might. But...are you sure? I mean, you'll have to leave Zuri here.”

She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. “Yeah. I...I'm not sure. I don't know, Cloud. I don't want to leave her alone, but I want to help her!”

“I know. Look, Tifa, this is something you have to decide for yourself, if you want to stay here with Zuri or come with us,” Cloud told her. “There's always room for you, if you want to come along. Maybe you should talk to Zuri about it.”

“Who is going along?”

“Right now? It's me and Zack, Cid probably, and possibly Liam. Give it some time. Cid won't be able to get here for another two days. You don't have to decide now.”

She sighed, stepping away from him and settling on an empty bench. “It was all so simple before, when we were chasing after Sephiroth,” she murmured. “All I wanted then was to protect you. My options were always straight and clear in front of me. Of course I cared about the others too, but...”

“Yeah, I know,” Cloud murmured, settling next to her. “Now we've got like this whole family to worry about too.”

“I don't want to sound like it's bad to have more people to care about, because it's wonderful,” she murmured, rubbing her thumb over the hem of her skirt. “I feel like I'm part of a family again for the first time since...well, you know when. But you're my family as much as she is, Cloud. I want to be with you, but I also want to stay with her...”

He imagined Zack being stuck here in the hospital, what he would do if Tifa were marching out to go find a cure for him. He had no idea what he'd do.

“I think it depends on her,” he finally said. “She might be fine here by herself. And--you know, it's not like she'll be alone if you come with us. But she might need you too.”

She paused to consider that for a moment.

“Cloud...what was it like for you when you thought Zack was gone?”

He blinked. “What?”

“You thought he was dead, didn't you? You didn't just get separated...”

He swallowed. “It was like the entire world had ended, and nothing mattered anymore,” he admitted. “And then--well, then I found you. Otherwise, I guess things might have gone differently.”

She didn't reply, just continuing to sit silently and study her hands.

“Tifa, Zuri isn't...”

“But she might. Right? You can't be sure.” She looked up at the sky, then, at the blazing sun. “I wonder if the world will end for me too.”

Cloud sighed. “Yeah. She might. I don't know. But you know, I had you and you saved me. So maybe I can help you out too. I guess that's the good part about being a family. If you lose one member, there's more than just one left.

“But I'm not going to just give up. Zuri is your family, and by extension, she's mine. I'll do whatever I can to make sure she gets better.”

She looked at him, and there were tears in her eyes. But she managed a small smile anyway. “Thank you, Cloud. It means a lot,” she told him. “I think I need to go...be with Zuri for a while now, though. Okay?”

“Yeah. Of course. Talk it over with her. Just keep it on the lowdown. Reeve's afraid this might cause a panic, and that's about the last thing we need,” he told her, taking one of her hands and squeezing it fondly. “We'll leave you the truck, okay?”

She nodded, standing up and walking toward the door. She paused to look back over her shoulder at him. “I'll see you back home. And, Cloud? Be sure to tell Zack you love him.”

Wait, what?

She was inside before he even thought to question this statement out loud.

Goddamn it. Why did everyone think they were sleeping together?

He stood out in the middle of the courtyard for a long moment, frowning and trying to parse out how the conversation had ended up like this. He knew he and Zack were closer than normal friends. He didn't even think it was that odd Gabe had asked about them, not in retrospect. But Tifa...well, it seemed like she would know the difference.

But then, he didn't even know the difference, since, looking back, he realized she'd been asking about Zack's supposed death as though they had been a couple at the time.

Goddamn, he was an idiot.

He did love Zack. He knew that. He was pretty sure he always had, once he had realized Zack's friendliness was genuine, and he wasn't paying attention to Cloud in order to be a dick about it. But it had always been a best friend kind of love. He wondered what Zack felt about him. Then he remembered that nine month trek from Nibelheim all the way around to Midgar, and he wondered how he could ever have questioned it.

Hands stuffed in his pockets, he headed back to the waiting area, no less confused about anything going on than he had been before starting to think about this. He thought about holding Zack's hand in the waiting room earlier, about Zack's desire to give him comfort without words, and how he had reflected that that had been a strangely intimate but not unwelcome gesture. With anyone else, it wouldn't have been welcome. But with Zack, it was fine.

He lingered by the door, searching for Zack. The other man caught his eye, near where Cloud had left him, and he nodded back out toward the courtyard. Zack glanced at Liam, said something to him, and then walked over to where Cloud was waiting.

“Come walk with me,” Cloud said, heading back into the oppressive heat outside.

Zack didn't question it, walking beside his shorter companion. “Where's Tifa?”

“She went back in by Zuri. She might come along, but...well, it depends on some things,” Cloud replied.

Zack nodded.

“Zack...” Cloud bit his lip and changed his course to a slightly more secluded area, adorned with half walls that the new ivy was slowly creeping up. He leaned against the wall and wondered what exactly he was doing out here. “I'm getting a little scared.”

Blue eyes met his, surprised and concerned. “Of what?”

Cloud took one of Zack's hands, studying it for a moment before lacing his fingers between Zack's. “Of losing you again. Last time it nearly killed me, you know. And--look, I don't really get this, what I'm doing right now or what's going on in my head, but I--I don't know. I just need to tell you how important you are to me, and how much I--”

He was silenced then, because Zack lifted a hand to his cheek, brushing his knuckles gently against his skin. Zack leaned in, and Cloud lifted his chin, tilting his head just slightly to meet Zack's lips with his own. There. That was it. That was what he'd been missing. Something seemed to ping in his head, and everything suddenly made sense.

The kiss was not long or intimate. It lasted only a breath, just long enough for Cloud to register that it was happening and to find it made sense to him, and then Zack pulled back. But he didn't go far.

“I know, Spikes,” Zack said softly. “I love you too.”

Their second kiss lasted a little longer.


	9. Chapter 9

“How long?” Zack wondered as they walked back together from the train station.

Cloud gave him a glance. “How long what?”

“How long have you been pining after this sweet ass?”

Zack was in a decidedly cheerful mood since their time in the hospital garden, and he had barely let go of Cloud's hand since that point. Despite the rest of their not-so-great circumstances, Zack was nothing but smiles, and it was kind of a relief because it was cheering Cloud up too.

“Do you even have a sweet ass? I can't say as I've ever really looked before,” Cloud responded teasingly.

Zack gave him his best kicked puppy expression. “Spikes. That hurts. I've been working on these glutes for ages. Even if you don't want them, you're supposed to _notice_ them.”

“Wear tighter pants,” Cloud suggested.

“You should wear tighter pants, I think,” Zack commented. “Yeah. I think that's probably the best idea I've ever had. Goddamn, I'm a genius.”

“What about you, huh?” Cloud asked. “How long for you?”

“I dunno,” Zack mused thoughtfully. “It's like we've been close since forever, and somewhere in there, it kind of edged over this invisible line and I didn't notice until one day I'm checking you out and thinking to myself, 'Hot damn,' immediately followed by, 'Wait, since when?'”

“I didn't think you really cared much for dating,” Cloud admitted. “You never seemed interested in relationships before.”

“I never was,” Zack replied, shrugging. “But you're different, you know? I don't just want to fuck you, I also want to cuddle with you and curl up with you in bed and be around you all the time. It's weird.”

Cloud went silent at the idea of fucking Zack, and he felt his face flush. He was not as experienced as Zack was in that area. Or, like, at all, really. In fact, the idea of sex with Zack had not even really occurred to him until this very moment in time. Holy shit.

“...Spikes? Am I being too forward?” Zack asked, suddenly concerned with Cloud's silence. “Shit. I am. Sorry. Look, we'll take this as it comes, okay? I don't want to be pushy, or...”

“It's fine,” Cloud replied, laughing nervously. “I just--don't really know how to react to this, that's all.”

“Don't worry about it,” Zack told him. “You trust me, right? So if something's not okay, then tell me and I'll stop.”

“I know, I know.” Cloud was kind of embarrassed.

Zack was constantly touching him, Cloud was realizing. A hand clasped with his, a light brush of fingertips against the small of his back, an arm slung around his shoulders or waist. It was like Zack couldn't get enough of him, and that felt kind of nice. He had seen Zack do this with other people, it was true, but that was different somehow. It was him now.

And even though things were kind of totally shitty all around them, Cloud was taking a moment to not give a fuck. In a few days, he was going to go fix it, go kick somebody's ass around until the Planet was healthy again, and people were probably going to die. So in the meantime, he was going to enjoy the time he had with his boyfriend (!!!).

Zack's hand was light on his hip while he unlocked the door leading to the stairwell to the apartment, and as soon as he locked the upstairs door inside the apartment, Zack was on him, kissing him again while pressing him back gently into the wall next to the door. Cloud's arms went up around Zack's neck, encouraging.

“This okay?” Zack mumbled, barely bothering to pull back.

“Mmmh,” Cloud replied. “Maybe not in the hallway.”

Zack barked out a laugh and pulled away a little bit. “You make me feel seventeen again, Spikes. I'm a little excited is all.”

“So...what exactly are we doing?” Cloud asked, allowing Zack to lead him out of the hallway and into the living room area.

“I don't know. You kind of sprung this on me, kid,” Zack replied. “We should have some sort of nice little casual date night. Pop in a movie, order pizza, cuddle on the sofa, and make out during the boring parts. What do you think?”

“I don't think I actually own any movies,” Cloud admitted.

“Then we'll pick something up when we get the pizza. C'mon. I know you can't cook any better than I can, so we're going to have to order out anyway.”

And so that was what they did. Zack picked out some movie that Cloud had never heard of, and they ended up sitting on the floor of the living room with paper plates and greasy pizza and cups of beer. It wasn't anything fancy, but the movie was stupid and corny and just enough to make them laugh, and he was enjoying the evening.

Zack was abstaining from making a move, which seemed out of character for him, but Cloud knew that he was mostly trying to make sure Cloud was comfortable with everything. He didn't want to push his luck. But at the same time, Cloud was a little nervous about starting anything on his own, since Zack had obviously far more experience in this sort of thing than he did.

But then, it wasn't really all that different from their normal time spent together. Zack was sitting with his back against the sofa and Cloud was sort of draped across his lap, reminding him of simpler times back when they had first met in Shinra. Back then, Zack's hand wouldn't have been on Cloud's hip, rubbing little circles, and their brand of beer would have been a little shittier than whatever cheap ass brew they'd picked up with their pizza. Maybe there would be more ambient noises from the neighboring apartments and just a touch fewer feelings of oppressive worry.

Cloud shifted, sitting up a bit more, and Zack pulled him back against his chest. The movie was shifting to some romantic bullshit that Cloud couldn't care less about, and Zack apparently had other ideas himself. He pressed his face into the crook of Cloud's neck, pressing a number of tiny kisses in a line down to his shoulder. Cloud heard himself make a purring sound and lean his head back against Zack's shoulder to give him better access.

“Cloud,” Zack hummed reverently, rubbing one hand over Cloud's stomach.

Cloud shifted, turning in Zack's grip just enough for him to take Zack's face in his hands and give him a real kiss. Zack groaned into his mouth, the hand that had been on Cloud's hip slipping up under his shirt. Cloud shifted a little further, relaxing into the position and letting Zack lead. Zack gently pried Cloud's mouth open and--

_BANG BANG BANG._

“HEY! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!”

Cloud jumped back in surprise as a loud, familiar voice echoed from outside the building. “The fuck,” he muttered to himself, jumping up to peer out the window. Sure enough, down on the bottom level, a looming figure was pounding angrily on the front door. He groaned.

“Who the hell is that?” Zack asked.

“An old friend,” Cloud sighed. “Sorry. We'll continue later, I guess.”

Without waiting to see the sad expression he knew was going to be on Zack's face, he headed for the door. He headed down to the empty bar and jerked open the front door before their visitor could break it down.

“Holy shit, Barret, calm the fuck down,” Cloud groaned.

Barret had his hand raised to pound the door again, and he paused, fist still extended. “Why didn't you answer the door when I first fucking knocked, you spiky headed moron!?” he demanded.

“I was busy!” Cloud stepped aside and let Barret enter.

Five year old Marlene skipped in behind her father, oblivious to the entire ordeal. “Hi, Cloud!” she called cheerfully. “We're back! I got to see where the great big bird's nest used to be!!”

Cloud mustered some cheer for Marlene, kneeling down to give her a quick hug. “It was pretty big, huh?” he asked, and she chatted amicably about it for a moment before losing interest.

“Where's Tifa?” Barret wanted to know, looking around the empty bar.

“Zuri's in the hospital,” Cloud replied, frowning. “Tifa's with her. I don't know if she'll come home tonight. It's--well, I'm not even sure how to explain it.”

“What the hell, Cloud! I'm gone for like a month and you manage to fuck everything up all over again!”

“What makes you think this is my fault!?”

“Okay, okay, not your fault, but it sure seems to follow you around, doesn't it.”

Cloud groaned. “Damn straight, it does. Look, you need a place to stay or something? I probably have the key to Tifa's apartment somewhere, she won't care if you and Marlene stay there.”

“Can I sleep at your place, Cloud?” Marlene asked, grabbing onto his arm.

“Um,” said Cloud worriedly. “I'm not sure.”

There was a creak as the stairway door opened and Zack stuck his head out curiously. “Is...everything okay down here?” he wondered.

“What the shit!? Who the hell are you?” Barret demanded.

“Oh, I'm just the boyfriend,” Zack announced. “Who are you?”

Cloud flushed red, and Marlene started giggling. “Cloud has a booooyfriiiiiend!”

“Zack, this is Barret. Barret, Zack,” Cloud mumbled, still incredibly embarrassed.

“Oh, yeah! I heard about you. You're the guy with the gun arm, right?” Zack said, immediately enthused. “Can I see it? How does it work?”

Barret grinned proudly and held up his prosthetic hand. He made a fist and then hit a button with his other hand. The gears shifted around, and the metal split to reveal a hidden machine gun underneath. “Pretty badass, huh?” he asked.

“Hell, yes!” Zack said emphatically.

Zack and Barret geeked out over the gun arm while Cloud chatted with Marlene for a few moments. Then Marlene ran off to make everyone drinks, shyly wanting to show off for Zack, and Cloud found himself sitting at one of the little tables with Barret and Zack.

Once again, Cloud was explaining the mystery illness that was afflicting Zuri and Gabe and probably countless others. Barret's frown deepened further and further as Cloud explained their sort-of plan. Barret was emphatically with them on this.

He exclaimed it loudly enough for Marlene to hear, as she came out of the kitchen, carefully balancing four glasses of orange juice. “Do I get to stay with Auntie Elmyra again?” she asked sweetly.

“We'll see if she can take care of you for a bit, huh,” Barret said, patting her head affectionately.

“You think Tifa's coming with us?” Zack asked.

“I do,” Cloud replied. “We had a talk about it today. I think as long as there's something she can do to help, she'll be doing it.”

“You didn't see her when you were all fucked in the head in Mideel,” Barret replied. “She wouldn't leave your side, once we found you.”

“That was a little different than this,” Cloud insisted.

“I think it depends on Zuri,” Zack suggested. “And if I know her, she's going to kick Tifa's ass into gear, and she'll be on that airship with us.”

“Where are you guys going?” Marlene asked, climbing up on Barret's lap.

“Don't know yet, kiddo,” Barret told her. “You'll be good staying here with Auntie Elmyra, right?”

She nodded seriously. “I'm a very good girl.”

“I know you are.”

“I like how you wear your hair,” Zack told her, giving her a wide smile. “It reminds me of somebody I used to know. She had a pink bow just like you do.”

Marlene, who was all shyness when it came to Zack before, brightened visibly. “Did you know the flower girl too?” she asked. “She was really nice!”

Zack laughed. “Well, I don't know if my flower girl is the same as yours, but she sounds similar,” he said, and Cloud stiffened a little bit. He had never quite managed to tell Zack what had happened to Aeris, although he was quite certain he had figured out she had passed away. “Mine was named Aeris.”

Marlene was delighted. “It's her!” she replied. Her face fell a little, though. “Aeris returned to the Planet now, though. But it's okay, she's still with us here.” She crossed her hands over her heart. “That's what my Daddy told me.”

Zack have her a wistful smile. “Your dad is very wise,” he said.

The conversation turned away from Aeris again and back to their imminent plans to find Hojo, which, as weird as it seemed, was a relief to Cloud. He had no idea how much Zack knew about Aeris' demise. He didn't even know how close Zack and Aeris had been, only that they had known each other.

In the end, Barret and Marlene took the key to Tifa's apartment and left her a note on the door, in case she did come home that evening after all. Cloud and Zack headed back upstairs to their apartment. The pizza was cold and the beer was warm and the movie had finished without them, since they'd forgotten to stop it before going to see what was going on downstairs.

“So much for a date night,” Zack said mournfully, looking at the mess they'd left. “Maybe we can salvage it a bit, huh?”

“Yeah,” Cloud murmured, his mind elsewhere. He picked up the pizza box and started cleaning up.

“Although I feel like I should ask about Aeris, now that I've got you cornered.”

Cloud sighed, not really answering as he put the pizza box in the fridge.

Zack watched him, leaning in the doorway of the kitchen. “I gather you knew her a bit better than I had realized.”

“Yeah,” Cloud agreed. “She helped me out a bit.”

“There's a lot to this story I haven't heard, isn't there.”

“Yeah. But that story isn't going to salvage our date night.”

Zack stepped up behind Cloud, threading his arms around his waist and tucking his chin against his shoulder. “But it's weighing you down. It has been, since we found each other again,” Zack murmured. “I want to help you shoulder that burden, you know?”

“I don't know if I want to talk about it.”

“But maybe you _should_ talk about it, hmm?”

Cloud turned in Zack's embrace so that they were facing one another. “It's going to be hard for you to hear too,” he murmured, “and not just because of Aeris.”

“You dealt with it. You are dealing with it. C'mon, Cloud. I'm a big kid.”

Cloud sighed, giving in. “All right. Let's go sit down, though. It's a long story.”

\--

Zack was lying flat on his back on Cloud's bed. Cloud was next to him, curled to his side, head on his shoulder. It was really too warm to lie like this, but he didn't want to move Cloud anymore than he was interested in being anywhere else. Cloud was fussing with a strand of Zack's hair that had fallen over his shoulder while Zack lay there in silence, letting Cloud's epic tale sink in.

It was a whole lot more complicated and whole lot shittier than he had expected. He'd never considered that he would have to think this much about Sephiroth again, and he didn't really want to think about how much it actually hurt to deal with it again. Sephiroth had been a friend and a mentor, and what had happened to him was ghastly. Zack's disgust and hatred of Hojo had never been stronger than it was right then. On top of everything else that had happened, all of this, all of _everything_ was entirely the fault of one man.

The man they were about to go find and ask for help.

It made him sick to think that they were going to have to appeal to this man, but he knew that their options were limited. It was this, or allow this disease to run rampant and destroy everything it touched and wait for something else to happen.

“I'm sorry,” Cloud mumbled, twisting the black hair around his fingers. “I fucked it up pretty bad, huh.”

“Spikes. Don't be an idiot. You did the best you could,” Zack murmured, his voice sounding a little hollow, even to himself. “In fact, you did a better job than anyone else could have, you know? I would have just ended up as Jenova's pawn, and no one else would have been able to keep up with Sephiroth and take him down.”

“But Aeris...”

“Aeris knew the risks of what she was doing. And she chose to do it anyway,” Zack replied. “You're not at fault for her death. You understand that, right? Everything lies on Jenova, and on Hojo.”

“I know,” Cloud said quietly, and Zack was actually fairly confident that he did understand that. “Someday I'll stop blaming myself, because I know logically that I couldn't have done anything because I didn't _know_ then. But...”

“Yeah.” Zack sighed. He felt like he could sort of understand the depression that seemed to linger at the back of Cloud's mind near constantly. He felt like it was sort of sucking him in too, right now. It was grief; he understood that. He'd lost two good friends to this, and that was hard no matter how you looked at it. And this entire situation had very nearly cost him Cloud too.

Cloud lifted his head a little. “...are you okay?” he asked.

Zack offered a half smile. “I'm sad. But I'll manage.” He turned his eyes back to the ceiling and propped his hands behind his head. “They were both good friends, you know. Sephiroth and Aeris. It hurts to know they're gone, and in such shit ways. But that's something that will fade, you know?”

Cloud let out a heavy, sad sounding sigh. “Does it get better?” he mumbled.

“If you let it, yeah. It'll suck you under and eat you alive if you don't. Believe me.”

“I still dream about her sometimes,” Cloud mumbled. “They...aren't good dreams.”

“Mmh. I know what you mean.” Zack had dreams like that about people who were no longer in his life. Not often, but they were still something that lingered in the back of his mind. “After a while, you'll start having dreams where she's just there, and nobody really questions it, and it'll be like old times. That's when you get sad after you wake up.”

“...yeah.”

They fell silent again. Zack didn't really have much more advice to offer, not while he was feeling down to start with. Cloud's ceiling fan swayed slightly, and the clock on the nightstand tick-tocked softly. Outside, sounds of traffic permeated the air, along with Barret's occasional muffled curse from the adjoining apartment. It was calm and quiet and almost relaxing.

“Cloud?” Zack murmured, before he could let time slip away from him entirely.

“Hmm?”

“Can I sleep in here tonight?”

Cloud shifted closer, nuzzling into Zack's neck. “Yeah.”

\--

Zack wiped the sweat from his brow, pausing in his effort to gaze up at the majestic bulk of the _Highwind_. The bikini goddess carefully painted on her side smiled effortlessly as he took a moment to admire her.

There was still a good deal of cargo to be loaded onto the ship, and everyone else seemed to be finding all this magical other stuff to be doing. Even Cloud, who was heading up this damn fool idealistic crusade, was standing near the stern, conducting an animated argument with Reeve.

The Turks had managed to get some intel on the errant professor, coinciding strangely well with Cloud's theory that they needed to start out in Wutai. He'd been last seen near the mountains, if the eye witness accounts from the Shinra spies located in the area were correct. And so, that was where their destination was.

They'd acquired something of a crew. Cid was coming along, of course, since they'd volunteered him without bothering to ask him, and besides, he had to be there to captain the airship's crew. Barret and Liam had both thrown themselves at the chance to go. A tall guy with dark hair and a badass red cape and a wicked looking rifle that Cloud identified as Vincent was already on board. Juanita had surprised him by showing up all ready to go. Apparently, Liam had filled her in.

Cloud, who had apparently lost the argument, was now coming back toward Zack carrying a three foot tall stuffed cat and looking irritated about it.

“What the fuck is that?” Zack asked him.

“Hey!” the cat thing said. There was an echo, and Zack looked up to see Reeve, ten feet away, pressing a small device to his ear and speaking into it. “It's me!” Reeve waved, and the cat thing also waved at the same exact moment.

“Wow. All right. Reeve, I had no idea you were a furry.”

The cat huffed angrily. “How rude,” it, and Reeve, said.

“Zack, this is Cait Sith,” Cloud sighed. “I know it looks kind of stupid, but he's helpful. Also, apparently Reeve is sending Kale with us. And Tseng. And Elena.”

“Why do you sound unhappy about having reinforcements?” Zack asked. “In my experience, that's usually a good thing.”

“Because if we're not careful, he's going to catch wind of the fact that we're coming after him, and he's going to fucking disappear again,” Cloud pointed out. He put the weird cat robot puppet thing on the ground, and it looked up at them, hand on its tiny cat hip, like it was a part of the conversation and the person who was controlling it wasn't standing within sight distance.

“The airship is the same size, no matter how many people are on it, Spikes.”

Cloud looked frustrated. “You know what I mean! Never mind, it's fine. I'm just--well. You know.”

“Yeah,” Zack sighed. “Well, this isn't that different from your last epic journey, is it?”

“I guess not,” Cloud muttered. “Come on, let's get this shit on board.” He bent down to grab the stack of crates that Zack had abandoned.

“Hey! Do you need some help with that?”

Cloud paused in surprise, and Zack turned. There was Tifa, coming toward them and carrying a bag over her shoulder. Cloud ignored the crates again and turned. The smile on his face was sweet and genuine. “You coming along?”

“Of course,” Tifa replied. “I'm tired of sitting around, waiting for someone to fix things. I want to help.”

Zack patted her shoulder companionably. “Sweet. We could use the extra help,” he commented. “How is Zuri doing?”

“She's mad that she can't come along,” Tifa admitted, smiling a little. “She's doing pretty well, though. They were worried about infection at first, but it seems like it's stabilized for now.”

Cloud nodded, tight lipped. Zack knew he was worried; Gabe had taken a bad turn the day before and was receiving blood transfusions now to keep him from bleeding to death. They were having trouble keeping the old wound closed. Zuri would probably follow the same path if left unchecked.

With help from a few more bodies and some help from the slackers after Zack yelled at them, the rest of the cargo was loaded onto the _Highwind_ fairly quickly. Cid went to start up launch preparations while Barret said goodbye to Marlene and Reeve approached Zack.

“A going away gift,” Reeve announced, handing Zack a large bag. “Potions, a few materia, and one of Irving's inventions--something he calls a 'liquid cure.' Apparently, it's a one time use cure materia that you can pour directly into a wound. It doesn't work on the...ah...afflicted, of course. But it should work on anyone healthy. I've seen his demonstrations, it's very effective. He wanted to make sure you had some.”

“Oh! I remember him talking about this,” Zack said, glancing through the bag cheerfully. “It sounds pretty badass. I was hoping I'd get to try some out. Maybe I'll punch somebody just so I can try it.”

Reeve raised an eyebrow. “Please don't,” he replied.

“Well, Reeve,” Zack commented, reaching out and grasping Reeve's hand, giving it a firm shake, “if we fuck up and everybody dies, I want you to know that I think you have a pretty cool beard, no matter what Cloud says.” Cloud had never said a word about Reeve's beard, so far as Zack knew.

“Wait, what? What does Cloud say about my beard?” Reeve asked.

“Oh...uh. Never mind.”

“Well--I'll be along in spirit. Cait Sith is a direct link to me, you know,” he said, patting Zack's shoulder. 

“Yeah. Well. See you later anyway, Mr. President.” Zack gave him a salute.

“Keep us updated,” Reeve said, nodding.

Zack carried the bag with him onto the ship, storing it in the cargo area with the rest of their belongings before heading up to the deck. He was watching their take off from the front fucking row, thank you very much.

Cloud was already on the ship's bridge, holding onto the railing on the deck and staring out the huge window looming in front of them. Dust and debris on the ground was starting to blow around as the ship's engines powered up. Zack grinned like a little kid, putting his hand over Cloud's and bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. Riding an airship was _so fucking cool_.

“Hold on, you dumbass kids,” Cid scolded from somewhere behind them, but Zack ignored him.

The wind outside picked up, whipping around the propeller blades and scattering dust in every direction. The deck shifted beneath their feet, and Zack let out a whoop of glee as the ship rose up in the air. “This is fucking awesome!” he cried.

Cloud, who seemed unimpressed with the display but had probably also seen it about nine hundred times (not like it got any less cool by then, goddamn it), glanced over and gave him a tiny smile and a shake of his head, like he was just some overeager kid at Christmas.

That gave him an idea, actually.

“Cloud, can I have one of these for my birthday?” he asked.

“I would never trust you to fly one of these things,” Cloud snorted.

“Now that is just cruel,” Zack replied, pouting.

Cloud rolled his eyes. “Maybe you can start with something smaller. Like a scooter.”

“I don't know why I put up with you,” Zack whined. But he quickly got distracted again by the view out the front of the ship. “Holy shit, look at that. I can't even see the people anymore. Fuck! This is awesome!”

Cid laughed from somewhere behind them, obviously pleased with the reactions his baby was getting. “You just wait, kid. You ain't seen nothing yet.”

“Can this thing do a barrel roll?” Zack asked, wide eyed with glee.

“No. No! Don't even--Zack, do not give him ideas. I am so serious right now,” Cloud insisted. “I'm already going to be puking the entire way to Wutai as is.”

“Poor Spikes,” Zack said, patting his back.

“No barrel rolls,” Cid put in. “I'll take you on my plane sometime, then we can do all the barrel rolls you want. No dumbass kids with motion sickness allowed.”

Cloud groaned. “Yeah, no thanks anyway.”

“I am totally holding you to that,” Zack responded. “Cloud! Cid is gonna take me on his plane, and we're going to do barrel rolls!”

“I'm standing right here! I heard the entire conversation!”

“But it's _so cool_! Look, Spikes! We can see the entire city from here!”

Cloud put a hand over his face. “Yeah, great. I'm going to the crew quarters,” he sighed.

“Drink lots of water! Don't get dehydrated!” Zack advised.

Cloud flipped him off as he headed off the deck.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's some implied sexual stuff in this chapter, but nothing explicit!

The conference room table on the _Highwind_ was covered with maps, intelligence reports, and various other papers, scattered about in some sort of vaguely organized disarray. Tseng was standing at the head of the table, hands clasped behind his back and a frown on his face. Elena was standing near him, fussing with some papers and trying in vain to look as professional as her boss did.

“Obviously, this plan is mostly in your hands here, and our intel is limited to what we've seen personally,” he said, addressing Cloud and Zack, who, besides Cid, were the only other people in the room. “As you know, the Turks have our own business in Wutai, but we'll give you whatever support we can.

“The mountain range here has only one opening into the inner valley.” He pointed at the map. “As you can see from the markers indicating our sightings here and here, this is the most obvious place that Hojo could be working from. This gives him the advantage of observation here. Obviously, he's going to have eyes on this area here, since there is no other feasible entrance point to the valley.”

“Do we have any idea what sort of reinforcements he's got waiting for visitors?” Cloud asked, frowning at the table. The motion of the airship was still making him feel a bit off, but he was familiar enough with the airship to know what he needed to do to keep from being too sick. Right now, that was throwing all of his concentration into Tseng's briefing.

He hated to admit it, but he also felt slightly nauseated about working this closely with the Turks. He knew that the Turks had been extremely useful in cleaning up and keeping what they could of the Company together after Meteor, and they were probably about three quarters of the reason Reeve had gotten the position at the forefront of the small congress that now ran the Company. He knew all of that, but he had met most of these guys as enemies, and it was difficult to suddenly switch gears and trust them.

“Only that they exist. Nobody comes out who goes through that mountain pass,” Tseng replied. “We've been keeping our distance to keep him from going underground again. He may even suspect that we're watching. It isn't farfetched to think he's gone to ground here for good, considering the advantages.” He paused, and then glanced back at his as of yet silent partner. “Elena, I believe you have more information on this?”

“Yes, sir!” she said, snapping to attention. “As for actual defense, we have no numbers! However, we have observed large amounts of metal and glass being purchased with what appears to be Shinra funding brought out of the city in the direction of the valley. The name on the supply orders is 'Gast.'”

“What's stopping us from landing the airship in the middle of that? We're losing the element of surprise either way, so we've got to make up for it by speed,” Zack suggested.

“Terrain issues,” Cid said, frowning and rubbing a hand over the blond stubble on his chin. “I can't put down just anywhere. We don't know what's in there, and if it's standard of valleys like that, we're running into pool of water or a river or some shit like that. Besides, didn't you say something about the mountains not being stable around here?”

“Yeah,” Cloud replied, sighing. “I don't know how bad the damage is or how localized it is, but I know they've been having trouble with the Da-Chao statue, over here.”

“That's a good distance away,” Tseng commented impassively. “My spies don't know of anything, but the locals could be more familiar with the area. The more intel you have, the better prepared you can be.”

“Yuffie grew up around this area,” Cloud pointed out. “If she doesn't know herself, she'll know someone who does.”

“Moving as one group might be risky,” Zack mused. “If we can find a new way in, we ought to split up and go in quietly. If we can get in any other way, we'll have surprise on our side, and we need that. This isn't a military grade task force we're running here. If we organize a little, we might even be able to coordinate our arrival and get in undetected.”

“I don't know, that sounds like it's asking for more risk too,” Cloud said, rubbing the back of his head.

“But the payoff would be worth it,” Zack explained. “There's no way ten people and a weird cat robot are going to be able to go anywhere together quietly. But groups of three or four? That we can contain. Plus, if I take a group and you take a group, we still have both Juanita and Kale, who are both military. We can each lead one attack force, meet up somewhere, and no one will be the wiser.”

“Sounds like you're asking a whole hell of a lot of a bunch of assholes,” Cid commented gruffly.

Cloud shrugged. “We did it once before, right?”

Cid made a face. “Somehow.”

“Either way, we can't really decide until we have a look around the area and talk to Yuffie,” Cloud said. “We'll split up the groups once we have the intel we need. Tseng, is there a way we can make a pass over the valley to get a quick glance without it looking suspicious?”

“We can get close, but I wouldn't recommend going directly over it,” Tseng replied. “Even if it was inconspicuous, I've come to expect the unexpected from that man.”

“...that's a good point, actually,” Cloud admitted, making a face. “All right, fine. Cid, we should land near the city so we can get in contact with Yuffie. Zack and I will figure out who is doing what and finalize our options of attack here, and then we'll brief everyone once we've got it all sorted.”

Tseng nodded. “It's a sound plan. I'll brief the president on the situation later. Once we land, we will help you disembark, and then we must be off on our own orders.”

“What are you fuckers up to anyway?” Cid asked.

“Official orders from your superiors, I'm afraid,” Tseng replied, waving a hand absently.

“That's right! We aren't allowed to reveal our orders,” Elena announced.

“Whatever. Just don't get in our way,” Zack responded, brushing them off.

Tseng nodded. “Of course. And I trust you won't get in ours either.”

\--

Yuffie was waiting for them when they landed, and surprisingly (to Cloud, anyway), Nanaki was waiting with her. Apparently, he had decided to go along with the researchers Bugenhagen had sent with Yuffie back to evaluate the rate of decay in the mountains. Cid, of course, had ferried them and was perfectly aware of this, but he hadn't thought to mention it. Zack and Cloud subsequently got into an argument about where Nanaki was going to fit into their groups and then blamed it on Cid.

The great statue of Da-Chao, one of Wutai's greatest treasures, was indeed showing signs of wear. Wooden scaffolding had gone up around the more delicate areas of the statue, mostly around his hands. There were gouges and cracks in the rock, and some of the features of the water god's face were eroded completely away. It seemed to have aged a hundred years in the last one, since Cloud had last seen it.

“It's sort of sad, isn't it?” Cloud murmured, looking up at the mountain and wondering about the strange feeling this place was giving him. It was like a feeling of something being off, like there was something wrong hanging in the air around them. He had no idea what it was, but he couldn't shake it.

“Never really took you for the artistic type,” Cid replied, glancing at the mountain.

Cloud shrugged. “I guess I've spent too much time around Zuri. I just can't imagine how much work went into carving that damn thing out in the first place, and now here it is, washing away like it's a fucking sand castle,” he commented. “It just feels so wrong.”

Cid looked at the mountain and then at Cloud, and then back at the mountain. “If you say so, kid. Me and Vin are gonna go see what kind of chocobos they have to rent out here. Barret's arguing with the innkeeper to get us some sort of group rate, but he's losing. Tifa and Zack are on a supply run. Just so you know everyone else is busy with shit while you're sitting on your spiky ass, thinking about art.”

“Thanks, Cid. I appreciate the reminder,” Cloud snorted.

Liam, Kale, and Juanita were stacking crates of supplies at the base of the _Highwind_ while Tseng observed. Reno and Rude had been stationed out this direction, and they had arrived at the landing sight shortly before the _Highwind_ had, so Elena was filling them in on the details of the flight.

Yuffie jogged up to the group, waving. “Hey! I talked to my dad about that area you wanted? He's got a map of it, but it's pretty old and probably not super accurate anymore,” she said to Cloud.

“Hey, hey! If it isn't you,” Reno commented cheerfully. He patted Yuffie on one shoulder and Elena on the other. “I'll bet that mountain brings back great memories for you two.”

Yuffie kicked him in the shin at the same time Elena smacked him in the back of the head.

“Ow! What was that for!?” Reno demanded. They both ignored him, so he turned to Rude, who simply raised one eyebrow and gave no other response. “Women. Jeez.”

Cloud rolled his eyes and turned his attention to Yuffie. “Great. Where's the map? Me and Zack will need to take a look at it for a bit tonight,” he told her.

“It's at my place, obviously,” she replied. “So you think You-Know-Who is hiding out in that area somewhere? How are we gonna take him down?”

“That's what I've been told,” Cloud answered. “We'll discuss strategy later. That's what me and Zack have to look at it for.” He glanced at the mountain again, frowning. “Any success in fixing things up around here?”

“No,” Yuffie sighed, frowning a bit. “We've got some ideas we've been working on, but nothing concrete yet. I thought, you know, all we need is a good earth spell! But that didn't work. The rocks just go back to being dirt when the spell is done, you know?”

Cloud picked up a stone near his feet. He had a thought then as he looked at it. It was larger than his fist, gray in color, fairly heavy. No, there was definitely something weird about this rock, but it wasn't in any of its physical characteristics. He recognized this, and he wasn't sure why. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what made him feel that way either.

He looked around. The soil here was rocky, due to all the mountains in the area, most likely. The plants in the area were small and squat, some sparse grass here and there. Further into town, there was more plant life, but this area, and most of the area around it was pretty barren of anything green.

“Yuffie,” he said, frowning at the rock. An idea was formulating in his head. He wasn't sure how much sense it made, but it was somewhere to start, in the meantime. “There's never been a Mako reactor anywhere in Wutai, has there?”

“No way! Shinra looked into building one here, but it turned out there isn't a lot of Mako flow around here to start with, so they abandoned the project,” Yuffie replied.

Cloud nodded thoughtfully. That all but confirmed his suspicions.

“All right. Get that map ready for us. I'll find Zack and bring him over. I've got some ideas on how to do this,” he stated.

\--

The map was in fact pretty far out of date. Yuffie was even able to point out a few landmarks that no longer existed, some she didn't even recognize that had disappeared before she could even remember. Still, an out of date map was better than a vague idea of what the area looked like.

“If I were to build a secret fortress in an area like this, I'd put it right here,” Zack said, pointing at the furthest point from the mountain pass leading into the valley. “This is the best defensible position. It's got a straight on view of the whole valley, and you've got room to give if you need it.”

“But it's leaving him cornered,” Cloud pointed out. “He's got nowhere to go if someone comes in here.”

“He's going to ground. There's probably some sort of underground passage for his escape or something, but he fully intends to stay here,” Zack replied. “Anyway, he's a scientist, not a strategist. If you pick a closed in area like this, a fortress here would be the only thing that makes sense. Also, we've got no idea what is even in here. It might be mostly impassable.”

Cloud frowned, rubbing his forehead. This was a headache waiting to happen. At least they had a pretty good idea of how to approach this, which was good because the entire party was due to arrive at Yuffie's in a few minutes to talk battle strategy. “I guess you're right. There's nothing else that makes any sense,” he admitted.

“Okay, help me get this spread on the table a minute,” Zack instructed. They weighted down the edges of the old map with shoes and rocks after spreading it flat so everyone would be able to see.

Liam and Kale were the first to arrive, having struck up a rather unlikely friendship, at least in Cloud's eyes. Where Liam was abrasive and sarcastic, Kale was sweet and soft-spoken. In a way, it sort of made sense. Liam's verbal barbs never reached all the way through Kale's extra layer of kindness.

Juanita showed up with Barret and Cid a few moments later. Then it was Nanaki and Tifa, who was carrying Cait Sith. Last of all, Vincent showed up, seeming to just appear in the room. He might have been the first one to arrive and no one had noticed, for all Cloud could tell. Yuffie, of course, was already there, as it was her house, and pounded downstairs when she heard the commotion.

“Hi, everybody,” Zack said cheerfully. “If we could all sort of gather around this table here and take a look at this map thingy, that would be awesome. Okay? Okay. No, Reeve's already been updated on most of the plan, so Cait Sith can just--yeah, okay. Sit on her head. Whatever. Nanaki, please watch your tail. I won't be able to stop Yuffie from killing you if you burn her house down. Yuffie, stop making faces at him.

“All right, this is sort of an old map, and it's probably mostly wrong. But it's the best we've got right now,” he continued. “Now, ignore all this bullshit on this side. We're looking at this valley way over here to the south. We've got pretty damn good reason to believe Hojo is holed up somewhere inside there. It's a good defensible position with lots of look out points and hard to attack, so it's a pretty good spot. However, he lacks one very important thing, and that is a natural exit. Oh, sure, he's probably built something into the mountain, but those sorts of things have smaller exits.

“Now, walking into the front door here with a total of ten people, a fire lion, and an animatronic cat thing is not a very good idea. So we're going to either be finding a back door or making our own entrances, since Hojo is known very well for his lack of empathy and his love of fucking with things. He likes monsters. He probably has a bunch. Now, we're all pretty good at monster killing, so that's a bonus. But, well, let's avoid telling him that we're there for a little bit, right?

“So here's the plan. We're going to split up into three groups of four to avoid making any unnecessary noise. Cloud and I are going to be taking our groups in from each side in these areas, avoiding the front and doing a bit of mountain climbing. We're going to meet in the middle, over here, and then progress forward, since Hojo's hideout is probably somewhere right around here.

“I'm going to be flanking the left with Barret, Tifa, and Cait Sith. Cloud's group--Cid, Yuffie, and Nanaki--will be taking the right side.”

“What about the rest of us?” Vincent asked.

“You guys get the special mission,” Zack replied, giving him a wide grin. “Juanita's in charge of the rest of you. Your objective is to circle around the back here and find Hojo's secret exit. You're to remain guarding it. I don't want it sealed, because my plan is to get what we need out of Hojo and then take his secret exit out so we don't have to walk through the entire damn place again.”

“Got it, Cap,” Juanita told him, nodding. “Sounds like you saved the boring job for the pros, huh?”

“Boring, but important,” Zack told her. “And also possibly kind of difficult. You guys have a lot of ground to cover. Think you can handle it?”

“Who do you think you're asking?” she scoffed. “Leave it to us.”

“And one more thing,” Cloud put in. “I know probably about half of us here right now have some sort of personal vendetta against Hojo. This is in part why we've got this particular group of people, right? And believe me, I get that. I really do. But if you kill Hojo before we get the information we need out of him, I will be very, very unhappy.”

There was a murmur of consent at that; most everyone knew someone who was sick, after all. Cloud did trust everyone to not do something stupid, but he also felt the need to remind everyone of that too.

“Any questions?” he asked.

“So we're scaling the goddamn mountains?” Cid asked, rubbing his shoulder absently. “Can't say as I've ever been rock climbing before.”

“I ain't gonna be good for none of that either,” Barret put in. “This arm's no good for shit like that.” He lifted his prosthetic hand in the air.

“It's not going to be as hard as you think it is,” Cloud announced. He took one of the rocks off the edge of the map, allowing it to curl up. “Rocks are part of the planet, and mountains exist on it because of the same reason anything exists here--the Lifestream. When you don't have enough Lifestream, everything dies.” He dropped the rock onto the floor, and it shattered on impact, splitting into a bunch of tiny pieces on the floor. “That includes the mountains.”

Yuffie's eyes grew very round as she realized what he was saying. “You mean, the mountains are eroding because there's not enough Lifestream in them?” she asked.

“They're eroding because someone is sucking the Lifestream out of them,” Cloud corrected. “Hojo's built himself a reactor. This area doesn't have plentiful enough natural Lifestream energy to keep the mountains standing, like in Nibelheim and Corel. But even the Nibel mountains were starting to crumble at the end, though not nearly this badly.”

“That's right!” Tifa exclaimed. “That's why we fell down into that valley when we were kids! I _knew_ that rock should have held us!”

“How in the hell did you figure that out?” Zack asked, blinking at him.

“They-- _feel_ wrong,” Cloud said, frowning. “But--no, Yuffie said it. She said something about casting an earth spell, how the rock just turns to dirt again after the magic is gone. That's what the mountain is doing too. It's turning into dirt, because the Lifestream is gone.

“At any rate, you'll be able to carve your own goddamn stairs in this stuff. Besides, me and Tifa have been scaling mountains since we were kids, and I've seen Nanaki do some impressive stuff too. We can climb ahead, secure lines, whatever needs doing. And Barret, you know enough about rock climbing, even if you can't do it as well anymore.”

Barret shrugged. “Fair 'nuff.”

“All right. We're taking off tomorrow morning. It's going to be a few days' journey so pack up some stuff. We got supplies for travel and all that,” Zack explained. “We're going by chocobo to avoid detection, and we're leaving at first light in the morning. Cid? Vincent? We have enough chocobos?”

“Got fourteen rented, just in case,” Cid grunted.

“Perfect. I know we're all in our own hotel rooms and everything, so just eat something and meet up first thing in the morning. You got any questions, see me or Cloud. Right, get out of here, enjoy your last night off.”

\--

Cloud was flopped down on the bed by the time Zack returned to their room in the hotel with their dinner. Somehow, he was managing to take up the entire queen sized bed by spreading out his arms and legs as far as he could. He hadn't even bothered taking his boots off.

“Aw, come on, where am I gonna sleep, huh?” Zack teased, kicking the door closed behind him.

He knew Cloud was stressing out, not only because of the mission they were facing tomorrow morning, but because of the added responsibility he held onto being a leader of one of the teams. So Zack had plans to relax his boyfriend tonight so they could get some decent sleep.

Step one was a delicious dinner. He put the take out bag on the nightstand next to the bed. “Funnily enough, there were plenty of Wutain take out places around,” he commented. “And this shit ain't Midgar orange chicken. This is _real_ orange chicken.”

Cloud's appetite was getting the better of him. Zack watched in amusement as he seemed to shift to the right without actually moving, trying to reach the food.

Zack snatched the bag away just before Cloud could grab it.

“Come on, Spikes. I didn't ask for a room with an outdoor patio overlooking the ocean so that we could mess up the bed with sweet and sour sauce,” he said.

“Nooooo,” Cloud whined, flopping back to the bed in defeat.

Zack cheerfully went out to their beautiful little porch and set up the meal on the table out there. The sun was starting to set, and the view was going to be spectacular in about fifteen minutes. Cloud continued to be a whiny piss baby and lie on the bed like he was dying.

Groaning, Zack went back inside. He grasped either of Cloud's hands and pulled him upright. “Spikes! I'm trying to seduce you here,” he explained. “You have to come outside and be seduced, or I'm going to be really sad and stuff.”

“I'm not in the mood for seduction,” Cloud pouted.

“I know! That's why you have to come outside. It'll help set the mood,” Zack insisted.

Cloud grudgingly allowed Zack to pull him to his feet and lead him outside to the patio. “Look at this, babe. Best view in the entire hotel,” Zack told him, sliding an arm around his waist and pulling him close. Cloud sighed a little and rested his head against Zack's.

Slowly, the sun sank down to the level of the water, casting its splendor of pinks and oranges and reds over the horizon. The sky was clear and the water calm, and there was nothing but the warm breeze and the smell of the ocean and the sound of the waves below.

They stood like that, watching the sunset, until the sky was darkening and the stars started coming out. Then and only then did Zack turn to his side and reach over to touch Cloud's face. He brought those magnificent blue eyes over to meet his and then leaned in to kiss him. Cloud leaned toward him obligingly. Apparently, he had been properly seduced after all.

“Okay, Spikes, let's eat before our food gets cold,” Zack suggested, once the kiss had ended. He smiled and stroked Cloud's cheek a moment before pulling away.

“Did you really get me orange chicken?” Cloud asked, immediately distracted by the very concept of food.

“Of course. That was always your favorite back in Junon,” Zack responded, chuckling as he pulled out a container of actual Wutain orange chicken. “It'll probably taste different, because this isn't made out of cardboard. But hopefully, you'll like it anyway.”

“And you got General Tso's chicken and eggrolls,” Cloud predicted.

“Aw, Spikes, you remembered,” Zack laughed. “And some egg drop soup for you--here you go.”

After a few minutes of handing out food and utensils, they were sitting at the table outside with a candle that Zack had found somewhere that kept flickering because of the breeze. Over dinner, they chatted about how much more delicious Wutain food in Wutai was than the take out places in Junon. The conversation devolved into talk about memories, people they used to know, silly old stories about their time in the military together. By the time they were finished, they were both relaxed and laughing.

The candle finally flickered one last time and went out. By this point, it was plenty dark out, and the only light was coming from the moon. They gathered up their dishes and headed back inside. Zack turned on a table lamp next to the bed and then smiled at Cloud. It had been literal years since the last time he'd gotten laid, and he was really hoping to get lucky tonight. Sure, there were some things that they would have to work out ahead of time. But who knew? Cloud might be feeling fatalistic and decide they need to consummate their relationship before setting out on their mission tomorrow.

Cloud was looking back at him, worrying his lower lip slightly. It did nothing to diminish his appearance, though. His skin was tanned from the sun and his cheeks slightly pink. His hair was positively golden in the low light of the room, and his eyes were glowing--quite literally. Zack grinned at him, wondering what he'd done in a past life to get so lucky.

He stepped up to Cloud, sliding his hands around his waist. “Hmm,” he purred, “it's a bit early for bed, huh? What ever shall we do until bedtime?”

“I'm assuming you had something planned?” Cloud asked, raising an eyebrow slightly.

“I have a few ideas,” Zack murmured, and leaned in for another kiss. Cloud obliged him, reaching up to place a hand on the side of Zack's face.

Once again, Zack's hands found their way up Cloud's shirt, so his palms were pressed against skin. He didn't push his luck, even though Cloud didn't seem to mind. Instead, he took a step backwards, pulling Cloud along with him. When he got to the bed, he sat down on the edge of it. Cloud climbed right up onto his lap, knees on either side of Zack's thighs and arms around his neck. Zack's hands went to Cloud's hips, pulling him close as their mouths pressed together again.

When Zack's hands found their way to Cloud's ass, Cloud let out the most adorable little sound of surprise that Zack almost had to stop and laugh at him. But that would definitely take away from getting laid, so he forced himself to keep silent. Cloud was having a powerful effect on him, and he was getting hard so quickly he was probably in danger of passing out. It was wonderful.

“Cloud...babe...can I take your shirt off?” Zack murmured against his jaw as he pressed tiny kisses down toward his neck.

“Mmh. Only if you take yours off first,” Cloud mumbled, looking pretty pleased with the entire situation.

Zack hesitated for a moment. “You sure?”

Cloud blinked at him, surprised. “What, you don't want to?”

“It isn't that. I, ah, there are just a lot of scars now,” Zack admitted. “I wasn't sure if you wanted to see them.”

Cloud's expression turned annoyed, and he smacked Zack lightly in the side of the head. “Don't be a dummy,” he said. “In case you missed it, I'm kind of covered in scars too.”

“That isn't what I mean,” Zack said. He frowned and pulled his shirt off, up over his head. “I mean these.” He touched what remained of the bullet holes in his chest, numbers of pocked scars dotting his chest.

Cloud sat back on his lap so he could look at Zack's chest. Calloused fingers came up and touched his skin, slowly dragging downward over the silvered scars. Zack didn't like to look at them much--his chest had once been absolutely amazing. Now it kind of looked like weird swiss cheese.

“Don't worry about these,” Cloud finally declared. “These are my favorite ones.”

Zack blinked at him. “Don't tell me you're sexually attracted to swiss cheese.”

Cloud laughed. “No. These are the ones that prove to everybody how much you love me,” he said, making eye contact with Zack again. “I hate that you have them, but...I don't mind what they show.”

Surprised, Zack looked down at his chest, where Cloud's hands still rested. He put one of his hands over top of Cloud's, and then glanced back up at Cloud. “Well. That's true, I guess,” he replied. “I'd die for you as soon as I'd take my next breath.”

“Don't do that,” Cloud said. “Live for me instead, okay?”

“Doing my best, Spikes.”

Cloud gave him a beautiful smile, one which he couldn't help but respond to in kind.

“Well,” Cloud stated, pulling back just a little, “I guess fair's fair.”

He grasped the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up over his head, tossing it aside once he was free of it. His chest was still partially covered by his compression top, of course, but Zack took the moment to admire those fine muscles. Cloud was in great shape, and although he was still a bit on the thin side, his body was incredibly attractive. He did have scars too, although nothing like the ones Zack sported. The most notable one was the long, thin one that stretched a few inches vertically just under his rib cage. The scar itself was silvered with age, though the skin around it was slightly pinkish.

Zack had seen this one before, and also the matching one on Cloud's back, where the Masamune had exited his body. He traced a finger down the one on Cloud's front.

“I don't really like that one so much,” Cloud admitted, sucking in his stomach a little at Zack's touch.

“I dunno, Cloud,” Zack mused, “that one just reminds me how brave you are.”

“There you go. We're even then,” Cloud scoffed, but he was smiling. Zack wrapped his arms around that thin waist again and kissed him soundly on the mouth.

After a moment, he pulled back a bit. “Spikes,” he murmured, “you okay with everything? You can stop me whenever you want, if you don't like something. Don't worry about offending me or anything, yeah?”

“Mmh. Don't be stupid. If I didn't know that already, I wouldn't be so in love with you in the first place.”

“Maybe I just wanted to remind you.”

Cloud just kissed him again, which he wasn't about to complain about. Once again, he couldn't believe how lucky he was. He'd slept around a bit, and with some very attractive people. But not one of them struck him the way Cloud was striking him right this second. And maybe, objectively, Cloud wasn't the most attractive person he'd been with, but the fact that he was _Cloud_ seemed to blind him to that fact.

It didn't really matter anyway, Zack reflected dizzily, drinking in Cloud with every one of his senses. He never wanted to be with anyone else ever again in his entire life.

He'd just gotten Cloud's jeans unbuttoned when there was a loud, insistent knock on the door.

Zack growled low in his throat as Cloud pulled away, startled. Whoever was out there was very possibly seconds away from their death and had no idea. “Ignore it,” he whispered.

Cloud did, at first, but then the knocking came again. “Hey! I know you guys are in there!” Barret's voice rumbled, and he started fussing with the door handle.

“I am going to kill him,” Zack hissed. “He is going to be dead.”

“Just--go answer him,” Cloud replied, embarrassed, as he climbed off of Zack's lap. He scampered off toward the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Zack stormed to the door and yanked it open, startling Barret.

“I swear to fucking god, Jenova, and Sephiroth, Barret Wallace, if you ever cockblock me again, I will disembowel you with a rusty fucking spoon,” he spat, seething.

Barret opened his mouth to say something, then apparently thought the better of it and closed it again.

“I just got his pants unbuttoned _for the first time_ ,” Zack growled. “And now he is gone. And I am _never_ speaking to you again.”

Barret continued to not actually manage to make words.

“Is it _important_!?” Zack hissed.

“...no,” Barret said. “I'll come back later.”

“Excellent choice! Goodbye!” He slammed the door in Barret's face and cursed every god that had ever existed. If he did not get laid tonight, he was going to sulk. Like, a _lot_. There might even be tears involved.

Very deliberately, he locked the door again and then headed over to the bathroom. He could hear water running, and he frowned. He had missed his chance, hadn't he? He knocked on the door. “Spikes? Can I come in?”

“Yeah, I didn't lock it,” Cloud called back.

Zack opened the door to find his boyfriend sitting on the edge of the huge whirlpool tub in just his binder and his boxers. He was casually testing the water temperature now and then. He glanced up when Zack walked in. “If we've got the water running, we won't be able to hear the door,” he commented, raising his eyebrows.

Zack just stood there, stunned for a moment.

“I love you,” he said, very abruptly, and then wasted no more time getting his pants off.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should note here that I was under the misconception that Gongaga was all rain forest/jungle area for some reason when I wrote this. Since writing it, I've played Crisis Core and found all those goddamn mountains...and then went back in the original game, and, guess what! Lots of mountains. So just. Just pretend with me for a little while. T_T
> 
> There's some blood and violence in this chapter.

It turned out the news that Barret was supposed to bring them was actually pretty important, and Cloud was extremely angry that he hadn't found out about it the night before. He wasn't angry at any particular person, because he was not going to regret having a nice time the night before. But he was pretty angry.

Kale had fallen ill that evening with the same disease that was slowly filling the Wutain hospital with citizens, the same disease they were here to fix. His old injury that was acting up was a dire one, too. He'd had a serious head injury as a child, and now, he had a concussion from absolutely nothing.

Liam was pacing around the common room in the hotel, hands clenched together and expression dire. He was going to be distracted and worried now, and that didn't bode well for the mission.

“We'll send Nanaki with them,” Cloud finally said, to Zack. “I can make it with three. We need to secure that exit.”

“I agree,” Zack said, but he was frowning. “I don't like the idea of us going in without enough people, though. Maybe somebody from my team should go with you.”

“No way. You've seen me fight. I can handle more than you can. Besides, Cid and Yuffie are both solid fighters. We'll be fine,” Cloud insisted.

Zack sighed. “All right, all right. We'll have Nanaki with the scouts,” he replied, rubbing his head.

Neither was happy with the plan, but they had to keep moving. Zack headed out to the meeting place to help load the chocobos, and Cloud went to confront Liam.

“...you all right?” he asked, frowning.

Liam barked out a sharp, mirthless laugh. “Oh, of course. I'm great.”

“Okay, stupid question,” Cloud admitted. “But here's the deal. I need your head in the game here. You're going to end up a liability if you can't concentrate on our mission.”

“I know that,” Liam bit out.

“Can I count on you?” Cloud asked shortly.

Liam looked him in the eye for a moment, not saying anything. He seemed to be considering. Then he nodded slowly. “Better out there doing something about it than sitting here and kicking myself for not noticing sooner,” he finally concluded.

Cloud nodded. With someone else, he might not have quite trusted that he'd be able to do it. But he knew how Zack thought of this man, and he trusted Zack's judgment. “Good,” he stated. “We're heading out in about fifteen minutes. Zack could use your help with the birds.”

Liam glowered at him but made his way over to the chocobos.

The situation was miserable, and there was nothing anybody could do about it. Cloud knew this was going to dampen spirits and lower morale, and he was shit at dealing with that. He hoped he could use Kale's condition as some sort of motivation, but he was having trouble thinking of it that way himself. Another person ill. Another person who would probably die, even if they found Hojo and got rid of Jenova. Another person to fight for? Sure. But one fewer person to fight along side of.

And so the mood was grim when they all met up at the first light of dawn. Everyone had heard the news the evening before (except for Zack and Cloud, of course), and there were a lot of worried expressions. The idea that anyone had gotten a good night's rest was a laughable one.

Cloud sighed, going to address everyone. “Nanaki. I want you to join Juanita's scouting party. You're good with cliffs and have better hearing than most of us anyway, I believe,” he stated. “Cid and Yuffie and I will just be down a member.”

“That means Zack's party might actually be able to keep up with us,” Yuffie announced, and Cloud smiled wanly, appreciating the effort.

“Well,” he said, sighing a bit. “This is it, everybody. You're all here for your own reasons, but in the end, we're all working toward the same goal. You have your assignments, and if we all work together, well, we might just be able to fix this goddamn planet. Again.

“I don't know if Hojo will be able to fix this. I don't know what Hojo is doing right now, or if we're even going to find him there. But I do know that if I don't do anything, a lot of bad shit is going to go down, and I'm absolutely not okay with that. This planet's kind of fucked up, I know it. There are some really shitty people out there that we're going to be saving, indirectly. Hell, we're not even marching in to kill Hojo right now. But fuck it. This Planet is worth the effort, and so are the people living here. I'm here for Gabe and Zuri and Kale, and all of you guys.

“So the best you can do is figure out what you're here for, and remember that. Don't lose sight of it at the first sign of trouble--because there's going to be trouble, I promise you.”

He sighed a bit, losing track of what he had been trying to say. “Don't any of you die on me, or I'm going to be pissed, you got it?”

“Same goes for you,” Barret commented, patting Cloud's shoulder.

Tifa stepped up to Cloud and gave him a quick hug. “Take care of Zack for me, will you?” he murmured into her ear.

“You bet,” she promised. “We'll see you in front of the fortress.”

“Farewell, Cloud,” Vincent said, nodding to him. “May we meet again soon.”

Everyone mounted up slowly, arranging their gear, and as Cloud fussed with his bird's saddle, he felt Zack come up behind him. “Hey,” he said, turning around.

“Hi,” Zack replied. He reached over and grasped Cloud's hand. “See you soon, yeah?”

“You bet,” Cloud replied. He leaned in to give Zack a quick kiss. “Love you.”

“I love you too, Spikes.”

And that was it. Zack was climbing up onto his bird, and Cloud onto his own. It would only be a few days at most before they saw each other again, but it was still important. There was always the chance shit could go down. There was always the chance that this was the last time they would ever see each other again. He didn't want to think like that, but he had to face the possibility.

Sighing, he glanced first at Cid and then at Yuffie. “Let's go,” he said, and then they were off.

\--

They reached the eastern range of mountains mid-afternoon and had to leave the chocobos at the base of the mountain. The birds were quite tame and were content to graze in the afternoon sun. They left the birds ample water and some greens, and then set off for the mountains.

Cloud had scaled mountains all the time as a kid, and Yuffie had grown up in a mountainous region as well, so Cid was the only one who slowed them down at all. But between the two of them, they were able to secure the climbing equipment for Cid. He was slow, but he learned quickly and had no trouble with the heights. They made good time and were nearly to the summit by sundown. Cloud wanted to continue, but he knew Yuffie and Cid couldn't see as well in the dark.

They had found an inlet with a plateau big enough to set up camp, though just barely, and Cloud got out the two way radio once the sleeping bags were opened up and set out. Cid and Yuffie were arguing about the proper preparation of the shitty rations they'd brought to eat while Cloud dialed up Zack's frequency to update him on their progress.

“Hey, sexy,” Zack's voice stated, with some static.

“Will you stop,” Cloud snorted, giving a sidelong glance at his two companions. Neither of them seemed to have heard, but you never knew. Especially with Yuffie.

“How far you guys get? You're already in the valley, aren't you?” Zack asked.

“Not quite,” Cloud scoffed. “We're not even at the summit yet. How about you guys?”

“Same, actually. We're making pretty good time, though, considering I can't climb for shit.”

“You can commiserate with Cid later on.”

“I'll keep that in mind,” Zack promised. “Well, we've had no sign of monsters or anything, so basically nothing to report.”

“Good. Same here. I'll talk to you tomorrow, then?”

“Of course. Sleep well, sweetie.” Zack made kissing noises through the radio.

“Tch. Go fuck yourself.”

“Cloud! I'm not alone here, you know. That would be rude. I can't--”

Cloud turned off the radio.

Cid and Yuffie were both looking at him now. How great. Cloud was so glad that his boyfriend was an enormous bag of dicks, and dead set on announcing their relationship however he deemed fit, to whomever happened to be listening at any given time.

“So you two are a thing now, right?” Cid asked, taking a moment to light up a cigarette. “Like, that's not just a thing that fuckhead does to piss you off, right?”

“What?!” Yuffie demanded. “Wait, no, no, Cloud! You're not allowed to date anybody that I haven't approved of first!”

“I hope you approve of Zack then,” Cloud replied, embarrassed and annoyed at the same time.

“Oh my gawd, Cloud! I can't believe you started dating some guy without asking me first,” Yuffie pouted.

“Uh huh. Why do I need your approval for all my love affairs anyway?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Do I get to know about all your future lovers before you date anybody?”

“Obviously not. You didn't even tell me when you started dating somebody, so why should I be obligated to ask you?”

Cloud snorted, shaking his head. “You're making my head hurt. Whatever, who wants first watch?”

“I'll take first,” Cid replied, grunting. “I'm sore as fuck from all that climbing, not gonna be able to sleep right away anyway.”

Cloud nodded. “All right, wake me up when you get tired,” he said, grabbing a carton of rations and peeling off the lid. Yuffie was making a face at hers and Cid was just shoveling his on down without changing his expression. Cloud knew it was going to taste like shit, but whatever. It was calories, and that was the important part.

“I guess I'm sleeping until morning then!” Yuffie announced.

“Not a chance. You've got morning watch,” Cloud told her, waving a plastic fork in her direction.

“Good luck getting me out of that sleeping bag!” she replied, flashing him a grin.

“I will dump you out of the sleeping bag if I have to. Don't even make me prove it.”

“Whatever,” Cid interjected grumpily. “Just shut the fuck up and go to sleep. I'm tired of listening to you assholes argue.”

“Aw, love you too, Cid,” Yuffie announced, blowing a kiss at him before climbing into her sleeping bag. Cid flicked her off. “Good night, Cloud!”

Cloud finished up his dinner and packed away his utensils before sliding into his own bag. His sword was on the ground next to him, easily within reaching distance. It was kind of nice, he reflected, looking up at the sky, to sleep under the stars like this. He'd had the occasion, once or twice, during his time at Shinra when they were on a mission out in the middle of nowhere. But it hadn't really been among friends.

Sure, tomorrow was going to suck a lot. They had some sort of force in front of them they had no idea how to prepare for, a professor to find who might very well escape without them ever getting to talk to him, and a disease to cure that might not even have an antidote.

But for now, the sky was nice, and Cloud was in the company of people he loved and trusted. If only Zack was a little closer...but this was all right, knowing Zack was just on the other side of the mountains, looking up at this same dark sky.

\--

Cloud's mind was buzzing with emotion: rage, horror, fear, agony. He couldn't think as he ran up those metal stairs, his boots clanging on each step. He couldn't think, he could only feel, could only act on instinct and those emotions taking over his head.

Even this far in the mountains, he could smell the smoke billowing up from what had once been his hometown. His village was gone, burned to the ground. His mother was dead. Tifa's father was murdered, and Tifa had run inside. And even Zack had left him behind to go and take out Sephiroth himself.

The scene that greeted him inside the reactor was worse than he'd feared. Tifa was crumpled in a heap on the stairs, blood covering her front. Zack was sprawled on his back on top of one of the Mako pods, his legs looking unnaturally connected because of the sickening bend in his back. Strewn haphazardly about like discarded toys, both of them, two of the most important people left in Cloud's life.

Seeing red, Cloud rushed forward, stumbling up the stairs. Zack's Buster sword had slipped out of his grip and was lying on the floor, and Cloud didn't even remember grabbing it. But here it was, in his hands, as he followed Sephiroth up the stairs. This man he had respected and looked up to, had even liked on the occasion he had had to speak to him, had just destroyed everything good about his life, everything that he cherished and held dear to himself.

Cloud's early years hadn't been happy ones, and now, he finally had something good--only for this asshole to take it all away.

No. Not today.

Trembling in rage, Cloud gripped Buster in his sweaty hands, remembering the way Zack's arms felt encircling him from behind, directing him the best way to hold the sword. His heart was pounding in his ears as he looked up and saw the man he had once called his hero standing in front of that terrifying monstrosity known as Jenova.

Sephiroth turned when he realized he wasn't alone, but it was too late. Cloud pressed Buster forward in a stabbing motion, slicing into Sephiroth's stomach and chest. The General, surprised and wounded, staggered against the railing. “Who--?!”

“Mom...Tifa...my town--give it back!!” Cloud shouted. He readied the sword for the killing blow. “I had so much respect for you. I--I _admired_ you...”

His hands shook and his knees felt weak. Sephiroth was bleeding. His hands were covered in blood, his chest bleeding, and Cloud felt sick. He had never hurt anyone before with the sword. The gun--that was impersonal, and that had only been monsters anyway--it was different. This was different. Even though Sephiroth wasn't really Sephiroth anymore. He was a monster too.

But Cloud felt himself stepping back, instead of finishing him off. Another step, and another. Sephiroth wasn't coming after him. Sephiroth was just leaning against the railing. Bleeding. Dying.

Cloud dropped the sword. There were more important things right now, and he was losing his nerve. He turned and ran back down the stairs, to Tifa and to Zack.

He went to Tifa first, poor sweet Tifa who had nothing to do with any of this. He knelt down next to her, his throat closing off. She was barely breathing, but there was a faint moan as he carefully cradled her to his chest. She seemed so small--he had grown these past two years, more than she had--especially with that horrendous gash across her chest.

What could he do? He was no medic. He didn't have any supplies. The only thing he could do was move her into a more comfortable position. He arranged her arms over the wound, hoping to at least slow the bleeding. “I'm sorry, Tifa,” he mumbled, feeling numb with shock and fear.

Before he could move from that position, there was a clatter from above. Cloud's eyes went to the door, and there was Sephiroth, still alive, still standing. He was bleeding badly, staggering uncertainly, but he was still on his feet. Of course he was. Nobody could kill Sephiroth, especially not just a stupid little Shinra Regular who couldn't even pass the fucking SOLDIER exam.

Sephiroth was carrying his sword in one hand, the impossibly long Masamune, dripping with blood (Tifa's, Zack's, many others'), and the other hand was closed on--that _thing's_ head. Just its head, and nothing else. Cloud struggled to understand, but there was too much he had missed.

“Just like you,” Sephiroth muttered, leaning against the door frame. He was looking at Cloud.

Cloud thought for a moment, as the General staggered down the stairs, that he was going to die now. He stayed there, next to to Tifa, until Sephiroth was finally gone, staring blankly at the trail of blood that followed Sephiroth.

Now what? Cloud's mouth was dry and his eyes were wet. Everything. He was losing everything today. He looked over at where Zack lay, limp and broken, like a discarded doll, and he was surprised to find dark blue eyes locked with his.

Zack was alive!

Cloud stumbled over to him, grabbed his hand. There was blood on his face, on his chest, and his back was twisted in all the wrong direction.

Zack's breathing was ragged, but he opened his mouth anyway. “Cloud...”

“Zack. God. I'm sorry, what do I do, I don't know how to help you--everybody's fucking _dead_ , Zack! He burned down the town--my mom--Tifa--”

“I know. I know, Spikes. Shh. Listen.” Zack's voice was raspy, slow, like he was struggling to make the words come out. “You gotta...you gotta be the one to...to kill him. Okay?”

“I can't--he's--”

“No, listen. You took Buster....you took her, right? And he was hurt. You did that.”

“Y-yeah...”

Zack's hand came up and reached over, patting Cloud on the shoulder. “So now you just have to...finish the job. Yeah? You can do it, Cloud.”

“Zack, I don't--”

“You can. I believe in you. Okay? Do it...for...for your mom, and your friends...do it for me...mmkay?”

God. He was dying. He was going to die here, and Cloud was panicking.

“You can do it. I know you can.”

He was dying, and Cloud was alive and well, and he was the only one who could do anything about it. He was the only one who could avenge Nibelheim. His mother. Tifa. Zack. Zack believed in him. Zack wanted-- _needed_ \--him to do that. His insecurities and fears could come later. Even if he died here, at least he would die trying.

“Okay,” he said, taking Zack's hand from his shoulder and squeezing it tightly. “Leave it to me.”

Then he was chasing Sephiroth out the door, to that unfathomably high bridge, below which churned the angry currents of the Nibel River hundreds of feet below. The anger churned in the pit of his belly like that water, and Sephiroth was broken, bleeding, injured.

“Sephiroth!” he shouted, rushing toward him.

He barely even saw Sephiroth turn sideways, flashing the Masamune out perpendicular to his own body. Cloud didn't even stand a chance. The blade pierced him in the center of his stomach, just under his rib cage, knocking the air out of his lungs and fogging his vision with the white hot pain searing through him. He felt limp, like the only thing holding him upright now was that sword skewering him.

“Don't...push...your luck,” Sephiroth muttered, and Cloud looked up at him dully.

 _I'm going to die,_ Cloud realized, and a frightening calm took him over.

That wasn't so bad, not with everyone else dying too. There wasn't much point in going on without anyone left to go on for, was there? His family, his friends, his home...all of that was gone now. Even his idol, even Sephiroth, had gone and left him, let him down in the worst way possible.

Sephiroth was going to die too, Cloud decided.

He looked down at that steel blade, still through his stomach, and he forced his knees to hold him up. He reached down and took that blade in his hands, ignoring how it cut through his hands like they were made of paper, and he used the leverage he had. Sephiroth was wounded, tired, and not expecting resistance. Cloud looked him in the eye as he jerked the blade to the side. Warrior's instinct had Sephiroth keep hold of the blade, even as he lost his footing.

Cloud cried out as the blade was wrenched suddenly from his gut, through his hands, as Sephiroth's weight dragged the sword down with him as he stumbled over the edge.

“It can't...be...”

If he had let go of the sword, or of Jenova's head, he might have had a chance. But he didn't. He held on to both things, green eyes wide as he stared up at Cloud as he tumbled down into the ravine, into the water, into oblivion.

Cloud was on his knees, coughing, retching up blood, one arm over the gaping wound on his stomach and the other simply holding him upright. That was it. Sephiroth was dead. Soon, Cloud would be too. He didn't want to die here, though. He tried to move, but his legs didn't seem to work right. Hissing in pain, he pulled himself backwards with his arms, off the bridge, back to the steps, already slick with blood. He crawled, painfully, slowly, back into the reactor. Tifa still lay there, unconscious, but Zack opened his eyes again when Cloud finally collapsed onto the metal grating.

“S...spikes?”

“He's dead,” Cloud mumbled. “Fell off the bridge. He...”

Zack was quiet for a moment. “Okay, Cloud. Good. You did good. I'm...I'm real proud of you.”

Cloud smiled and closed his eyes.

\--

“What happens next?”

Cloud frowned. His eyes were closed, still, but there wasn't any pain. He was kind of cold, and his skin felt a little clammy. He could still feel the metal grating beneath him. He didn't want to open his eyes. He didn't want to keep being here.

“Dunno,” he mumbled.

“Well, obviously _someone_ came up here, but who? I mean, this is all very interesting, but it doesn't really fit together very well. Everyone here is still alive.”

“Yeah.”

Who was he even talking to? Fucking voices.

“I don't like the next part,” he finally admitted. “But I was asleep for a lot of it.”

“Oh.”

Whose voice was that? He recognized that voice. He opened his eyes. He was still in that reactor, still wearing that stupid Shinra uniform, still sticky with blood. But Zack was gone, and so was Tifa. He rolled onto his back and sat up, pressing a hand to his stomach.

“It's another dream,” Lillith said. She was sitting on the steps a little further up from him. “But I'm guessing it's really more than that.”

Cloud sighed. This again. “Yeah. I thought I was done with you.”

“I just thought I'd see how things were going.”

“Do you always have to come during the worst possible times?” he wondered.

“When is the last time you had a pleasant dream?” she asked.

“...yeah, all right. Point taken.”

She stood up, daintily stepping down the stairs to where he was sitting. “It was an honest inquiry, but I suppose that answers my question well enough,” she stated. “You know, you can change things however you want to, now that you're aware of the dream.” She held out a hand to help him up.

“Yeah, I know. I just...” He shrugged. It wasn't totally a bad memory, in some ways. He reached up and took her hand, but she jerked away as soon as he touched her. 

“What do you have on you?!” she demanded, her eyes wide. She stepped back away from him. “Who _are_ you!?”

“What?” He looked at his hand in confusion. It still had blood on it from the dream, but surely that didn't mean anything, did it? “I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“This can't be,” she stated, still backing away from him. “I must go. Please hurry. I fear things have just gotten much, much worse.”

“What are you talking about?” he demanded. “What just happened? Tell me!”

She shook her head. “I have to go, or else we will all be in serious trouble. Please, take care of yourself. I'll try and visit again, if things go well.”

“No, stop!”

But it was too late. With a gasp of surprise and a hand on his chest, Cloud woke up.


	12. Chapter 12

“Shit!!”

Cid about fell backwards when Cloud woke up suddenly, sitting straight up in his sleeping bag and gasping for breath. The scar on his stomach almost felt tender from the intensity of the dream, and he half expected there to be blood on his hands when he looked at them.

“Jesus. You okay, kid?” Cid asked, his voice a stage whisper. From the other side of him, Yuffie groaned and pulled her sleeping bag up over her head.

“Yeah. Sorry. Should have warned you, I wake up suddenly sometimes,” Cloud mumbled, rubbing his head in some chagrin. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Couple of hours. You sure you're okay?”

“Don't worry about me. Why don't you get some sleep? I'm going to be up for a bit anyway,” Cloud replied, wriggling out of his sleeping bag.

“...okay.” Cid still seemed concerned, but not too concerned to put out his cigarette, pull off his boots and gloves, and slide into his own sleeping bag.

Cloud was grateful for the alone time this would win him. As Cid settled, Cloud went through the process of getting dressed at the campsite, in the dark. A fire would call too much attention to them, but it wasn't like he really needed the extra light anyway. Once he was as decent as he was going to get, he leapt up to a higher ledge and poked around for a bit.

The mountain pass they were trying for wasn't too far off, and he could make it easily himself in an hour or so, to scout ahead. But he wasn't about to leave Cid and Yuffie without a guard; despite the fact that they hadn't seen any monsters so far didn't mean that that was going to continue to be true. He was quite certain they wouldn't run into trouble until they got to the other side of the mountains, but he wasn't willing to stake his friends' safety on that bet.

From the ledge above, Cloud had a great view of the wilderness that made up a good portion of Wutai. The Wutain people had clustered together mostly on the northern end of the continent, though there were some significant cities lower south. This area, as far as he could see, was completely empty of human life.

Between the Wutai war and the numerous disasters caused by Shinra--including Meteor--the nation had lost a good deal of its population. This was true of most places, but it seemed more evident in Wutai. They had held out for a good many years against Shinra, unwilling to give up to the would-be world government. But the siege Shinra had instilled against them had taken its toll. It would be a very long time before Wutai would be restored to its former glory.

Cloud leaned back against his rocky seat, lacing his fingers behind his head as he looked up at the stars. The constellations were different than the ones back in Nibelheim, and it was almost a bit disconcerting. He hadn't sat up on the mountains and stared at the stars in a very long time.

When he was a kid, he had always known what stars he was going to see. He'd liked to sit outside at night, when his dad was still around and angry about god only knew what. It was best to stay far away from him when he was in one of his moods. And so Cloud had learned early on to take refuge in the mountains. The rocky soil and the stars above him made him feel calm.

He didn't feel that way tonight, though. He was on edge, still, from that shit dream. And really, thinking about his dad didn't calm him down either. He closed his eyes for a moment, focusing on his breathing. Centering himself. Zack had taught him how to do that, years ago.

Zack.

He found himself missing his other half more acutely than ever. Since the moment he'd gotten Zack back from what he had thought was the dead, he hadn't been apart from him for more than a few hours at a time. It felt strange, now, to be parted for as long as they had been.

It was probably stupid to get this sentimental, but after Zack had been gone for so long, Cloud didn't ever really want to leave his side again. Or at least, not yet. That was reasonable, wasn't it?

But of course he couldn't just call up Zack, even if he thought the other would be awake. Their radios only had a certain amount of battery life, after all. It was probably best to leave it there in case of emergencies.

The time passed slowly. Cloud thought about waking up Yuffie a couple of times, but he didn't want to go back to sleep anyway. There wasn't a point in everybody being sleep deprived when he wasn't going to sleep in the first place. He passed the time doing some stretches, fiddling with his pack, and making small statues out of rocks, and eventually the sun was coming up. He got a nice view, thanks to their position, and the light would soon be waking his companions.

Sure enough, only moments after the light spilled over their campsite, he noticed Yuffie stirring in her sleeping bag. She sat up and yawned, while Cid just pulled the blankets over his head with a muffled curse.

Yuffie didn't see Cloud from where she was sitting, and she was glancing around in apparent confusion. “Up here,” Cloud called down to her, waving.

“Did you fall asleep up there or something?” she asked, frowning as she climbed out of her sleeping bag. She hopped up the rock face, finding handholds and footholds easily, until she was sitting next to him. “I thought you were going to wake me up for third watch.”

He shrugged. “Nah. I didn't feel like sleeping, so I figured one of us might as well get a full night of sleep,” he replied.

“You had shitty dreams, didn't you?” she asked.

“...sorry I woke you,” he said, a little embarrassed.

“Yeah, god! How dare you make yourself have crap dreams to make sure nobody gets sleep!” she retorted, punching him lightly in the shoulder. “You wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Well, I want to hear about it.” She gave him a look.

He rolled his eyes. She was going to pester him until he gave in and they both knew it. “Look, seriously, it was just a shitty memory, okay?” he groaned. “I don't want to talk about it.”

“Hmm, it wasn't about your dumb boyfriend, then,” Yuffie commented. “I mean, you wouldn't talk about those dreams either, probably.”

“Stop.” He put his hands over his face.

“Tell me about it,” she said, leaning on him.

“Go away.”

“I will if you tell me.”

“You're a brat.”

“Yeah, I know! You've told me that a few times before.”

“Anyway, Zack was actually in the dream,” Cloud admitted, sighing. He knew she wasn't going to go away until he spilled, so maybe if he just told her parts of it, she'd accept that.

She was quiet for a moment, considering that. “So what is you two's history, anyway? I never figured out the entire story,” she replied. “Like, you knew him before? He was in Nibelheim, right?”

“Yeah. He was my friend back when I was with Shinra, in the army,” he replied. “He kind of took care of me, and I thought he was basically the most amazing person alive. No one else really ever paid any attention to me back then.”

“And you got a big ol' crush on him, way back then, huh.”

“I'm not actually sure. I didn't really like him that way until recently. Well, maybe I did. But I wasn't like pining after his ass or anything, as nice as it is.”

“Ew! Don't tell me about your boyfriend's ass!” she scolded, punching him again.

“Come on, you've met the guy. How do you not notice that?”

He got punched yet again for his effort.

Chuckling, he picked himself up from the rock. At least he'd gotten out of telling her what he had dreamed about. Even thinking about it was making his stomach ache in a distant echo of that pain. “C'mon, go find some breakfast and get ready to go. I'll wake Cid.”

“You're not getting out of this that easily! You better tell me over breakfast,” she said, glowering at him.

“Yeah, sure,” he replied dismissively before jumping down to the lower plateau, where Cid was still hiding inside his sleeping bag.

“Leave me the fuck alone,” Cid said, before Cloud could even say anything.

“Come on, it's time to get up. We gotta get moving, or Zack's team is going to beat us into the valley,” Cloud replied, pulling the blanket back.

Cid was curled up in a ball, eyes closed lightly and breathing shallow. There was a sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead, and he was holding his right shoulder.

“Cid? Hey, man. You okay?” Cloud asked, reaching down to touch Cid's forehead. “Christ, you're burning up. Yuffie, get some water over here.”

Cid sat up wearily, shoving Cloud's hand out of his face. “M'fine. Just must have wrenched my shoulder yesterday, climbing. It's my bad shoulder anyway.”

“You hurt it before?” Cloud asked, his mood darkening.

“Yeah, years ago. Still gives me shit once in a while. Not usually like this, though.” Cid accepted the canteen Yuffie handed him and took a long drink.

Cloud sighed heavily, sitting down next to the other man. “...you know what this is, right?” he asked.

Cid didn't answer.

“You gotta go back.”

“Fuck, kid. I made it this far, and you want me to go back?”

“It's going to get worse. That's what it does,” Cloud said, running his fingers through his hair. Shit. Cid wouldn't be able to go back alone, not if he was this sick already. He thought of Gabe, who had gotten so ill so quickly, who was fighting for his life, even right now.

He looked up at Yuffie, who looked worried and confused. “Yuffie, you have to take him back,” he said.

“What, and leave you out here alone?” she asked, frowning.

“I'll meet up with Zack and Tifa and them pretty soon. I can make good time by myself. Cid can't go back alone,” he insisted.

“Fuck both of you,” Cid muttered.

“Well, he's right,” Yuffie replied, glaring at Cid. “You look like you can barely stand up.”

The pilot sighed, fishing out his cigarettes and pulling one out. “Fuck,” he muttered as he lit it. “You really think I got it?”

“Yeah,” Cloud told him. “Sorry. But it looks like it.”

“You really can't go in there alone,” Yuffie insisted, folding her arms over her chest.

“We need to time this, Yuffie, you know that,” Cloud pointed out. “It's just until I meet up with the others. I'll be fine. I promise. With him sick too, well, it's more important than ever for me to keep going. Help me get this shit packed up.”

She grudgingly helped him pack up their campsite while Cid slowly smoked his cigarette and got ready to go again. It was pretty obvious he was hurting, and so they distributed the items from his pack between the other two so he wouldn't have to carry anything.

It only took them about twenty minutes to get everything stored away again. They were dumping a few things to make the packs easier to carry, and so the work went quickly.

“I still think this is a terrible idea,” Yuffie told him, pouting gratuitously as she handed around the rations they had for breakfast.

“I don't disagree,” Cloud remarked. “It's just that we don't have any better options.”

“Don't you have anything to say about this, Cid?” Yuffie demanded.

“No. He's a shithead, sure, but he's right,” Cid mumbled. “This is all fucking stupid.”

Yuffie sighed, looking dejected. In all honesty, Cloud wasn't any happier with the arrangement than she was. But somebody had to keep going, for Cid, and for Gabe and Zuri and Kale and everyone else who was sick. And it wasn't like he was going to be alone for a long time, or that he couldn't handle himself. All the bullshit he'd gone through with Hojo, well, at least it had some lasting advantages.

After they were through with breakfast, Yuffie approached him, still pouting. Then she quickly threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Cloud hugged her back, biting his lip as he remembered avidly how she had hugged him just like this after Aeris had died.

“Don't you dare get yourself killed,” she mumbled, pulling back after a moment.

“You either,” he told her. “I mean it. If you die before me, I'm going to be super pissed.”

“Puh-lease, Cloud. I'm a ninja. I have plans to evade death forever. You better get on that too, by the way, because the same goes for you.”

“Sounds good. We'll both live forever,” he said, nodding. “Now get out of here.”

“Yeah. All right.” She frowned and grabbed her pack off the ground. “See you later.”

Cloud went over to where Cid was standing, leaning against the rocks and frowning out over the plains beneath them. “Hey, kid,” he said.

“You gonna be all right?” Cloud asked.

“Sure. I lived this long,” Cid remarked. He was frowning, though.

“Don't worry too much. We're here to stop it, after all.”

“Yeah.” He sighed and turned toward Cloud, holding out his hand. Cloud grasped it and shook it lightly, remembering that was Cid's bad arm. “Take care of yourself, kid.”

“You too,” Cloud told him. “Good luck.”

“Yeah, sure,” Cid snorted. “All my shitty luck started getting even worse the minute I met your spiky ass.”

“Then I guess it's best you get far away from me then, huh?”

“Damn right. See you later.” Cid patted him on the shoulder.

Cloud watched the two of them descend slowly for a few minutes before turning back to the mountain ahead of him. He would call Zack later to update him on the situation, but at the moment, he didn't need anyone else complaining about his plan. It wasn't like he thought this was the best idea he had ever had or anything. He knew it was a shit plan to start with. But there just weren't any better options.

Hoisting his pack on his back, he began his ascent. It was more important than ever that he do this.

\--

If there was one thing Zack had learned in the past twenty-four hours, it was that the human body was not made to climb mountains. Everyone was just better off down on the fucking ground, where they belonged. It wasn't that he'd never climbed a mountain before. There had been a few times back with the company where a mission had required it. Nibelheim, for instance.

But that was different. There were _paths_ , for fuck's sake. This mountain not only was crumbly and stupid, but there were no paths cutting through it. Tifa was pretty good at finding the best route for them to take, but even she was a stranger to these parts, and Zack had tumbled down enough cliffs from a bad step or not holding onto the rope well enough that his bruises were getting bruises.

The first night wasn't much fun, but Zack got first watch, so that was nice. Reeve had to shut Cait Sith down for the night, and it was agreed that he ought to be getting a full night's rest, with what he had to deal with back in Midgar. Barret took the middle watch, and Tifa took morning. They got a late start, though, since it was hard to tell when morning was exactly, as the mountains blocked the sunrise. This also made it harder for Tifa and Barret to see.

But they made decent time, and by noon, they made it to the pass. Zack was the last one up, and so he was the last to understand why everyone had suddenly gone all quiet. But looking down at what lay ahead of them, he let out a low whistle.

The inside of the valley was a labyrinth made up of jagged rocks and broken boulders, probably knocked down from the mountainside. The land was unforgiving to start with, and the excess of craggy walls and rocky barriers was certain to make the area almost impassable by foot.

“We have to go through all that?” Barret groused, visibly unhappy about this.

“Looks like Hojo picked a pretty damn good area to set up,” Zack muttered darkly. “Jesus fuck.”

“We didn't come all this way to turn around when things started getting hard,” Tifa said determinedly.

“I thought they were plenty hard before,” Zack retorted. “But yeah, no, of course not. Even if I have to chop all those fucking boulders in half with Buster here, we are getting through. Look up there, at the northern edge. You see that?”

“See what?” Cait Sith asked from Barret's shoulder.

“The mouth of a cave. That's where we're headed, I'm sure of it.”

“I don't see nothing,” Barret replied.

Tifa was fishing around in her bag for a pair of binoculars. She held them up to her face. “I see it,” she put in. “How the heck did you see that from here?”

“Good vision,” Zack replied, shrugging. “I'm gonna give Spikes a call to update him, if they're not up to the top yet.” He set down his bag on the rocks and pulled out the radio, dialing up Cloud's frequency. “Hey, Spikes. You awake yet?”

It took Cloud a moment to respond, but his voice came in clearer than it had last night. “I've been on the move for hours, thank you.”

Zack was about to respond, but something about that statement caught his attention. “...wait, you? Singular you?”

“Um...yeah. It's just me. Cid got sick, so I had Yuffie bring him back.”

“Shit. So you're alone over there?”

“It's fine. I've only run into a couple of monsters, and none of them were particularly bright. Are you guys in the valley yet?”

“Fuck. No. We just crossed the pass. It's a mess down there.”

“Yeah. But there's a cave.”

“We saw it. It's gotta be Hojo's hideout, right?”

“It's a good starting point, anyway. Everyone over there all right?”

“Barret's angry about something, and I'm sore as fuck with nobody to come kiss my boo-boos, but other than that, we're pretty good.”

“I'll make it up to you later. Look, I'm down in the valley already. I'm going to get there way before you guys do.”

“Yeah, I know.” Zack frowned and scratched his head. “Don't you fucking dare go in there without us.”

Cloud sighed. “Yeah. I know. I was hoping you'd tell me to scout inside, but--well, never mind. I don't think I want to go in there alone anyway.”

“Good boy. Let me know when you get there, and I'll tell you where we're at. I'm guessing it's probably easier going down than coming up, huh?”

“You bet it is. But it can be more dangerous too, so be careful.”

“You too, babe. I mean it.”

“I know. See you soon.”

Zack frowned as he put the radio away. Cid being ill was not a good thing. They were losing people, fast. He was of course concerned about Cloud being on his own, but he also trusted that Cloud could handle himself. He had seen the way the smaller man could fight first hand, after all.

Tifa was already climbing down a line that Barret had secured to the cliff face while Barret watched the line and Cait Sith observed the area from Barret's shoulder. Zack pulled his pack back on and crouched down at the edge of the line, looking down.

“I got shit news,” Zack said, to Barret and Cait Sith, since Tifa was too far down to hear well. “Cid's caught Endo....um, you know what I mean. Jenovitis. Cloud sent Yuffie to bring him back to Wutai.”

“Oh, dear,” Cait Sith said, hanging his head. “Not Cid too. So Cloud's by himself?”

“Yeah,” Zack replied. “So we gotta move fast so that asshole doesn't do some stupid shit and get himself killed or something.”

“Fuck,” Barret growled. “Well, going down is easier than going up.”

“I don't have any good news here on the Endosomatosis front either,” Cait Sith admitted, rubbing his head. “Things are getting worse. The people are starting to panic. We've had a number of casualties since you all left.”

Zack's heart sank. “Nobody we know, I hope?”

“No. Zuri's doing quite well, actually. But Gabe...well, he lost consciousness yesterday, and, well, it isn't looking very hopeful for him.”

“...shit,” Zack groaned, rubbing his eyes. “Okay. Well, fine, it's just that much more important to get this over with, I guess.”

“Line's secure!” Tifa called from the next cliff face.

Barret and Cait Sith went next, which was fine because Zack didn't want to be the one to tell her that Cid was now sick, and Cloud was alone. Or that Gabe wasn't holding out so well. At least they had good news about Zuri. Well, as good as they could hope for at the moment.

Zack waited until Barret had cleared the rope before hopping over the edge and rappelling down the rope. He could hear the pick holding the rope in place creaking, probably due to the relative weakness of the rock. He tried very hard not to think about it.

This continued well into the afternoon. He hadn't heard from Cloud again, although Zack was keeping the radio on his belt so he'd definitely be able to hear it. After hours of climbing down ropes, his muscles in his arms were starting to burn, despite the Mako enhancements. He couldn't imagine what Tifa and Barret must have been feeling.

They were nearing the labyrinth below when the weakness of the mountain finally caught up with them. Hanging onto the rope and slowly making his way down, Zack couldn't help but notice the alarming amount of cracks that were developing in the edge of the cliff he was rappelling down from. He tried to go faster, but his arms were protesting the motion, and he was having trouble finding footholds on the cliff in front of him. He still had ten feet to go when he gave up and started sliding down the rope, shouting for the others to get the hell out of the way.

He wasn't fast enough. The rope stopped moving through his hands when the top of the cliff broke free and tumbled down, rope and all, toward him.

He looked down to calculate how far he had, and how much time he had. Not enough, and not nearly enough, were his conclusions. He hit the ground in a crouch and then sprang to the side as fast as he could. The rock hit the path inches behind his foot.

The problem with jumping without looking where you are going to land is that sometimes there isn't anywhere to land. He learned this lesson first hand when he sailed right over another edge. Twisting in the air, he managed to grab hold of edge of the cliff and stop himself from falling immediately. Getting back up onto the cliff would be another story, but at least he wasn't dead yet.

The rock that had fallen hadn't broken off cleanly, though. After the initial boulder had rolled down into the valley below, a rush of smaller rocks and dirt cascaded down. Zack was far enough that he missed the brunt of it, but it was by no means an easy thing to keep holding on.

Once the rocks had finished falling, he groaned and pulled himself up so that his forearm was resting on the edge of the cliff. He was having trouble again finding somewhere to put his feet to help him climb, so this would have to do for the moment. In front of him, he could see that the entire ledge that he was hanging onto was not only blocked off by the huge rocks that had fallen, but the ledge itself had been mostly destroyed by the weight. Lovely.

“...Zack?” called Tifa's voice a few moments later. “Zack, are you all right?”

“Golden,” Zack called, voice strained slightly.

“We lost Cait Sith. I think he fell...but...is he on your side?”

“No, sorry. The path here is real unstable, though. I don't think I can get over to you guys.”

There was a pause and some scuffling sounds. A few more rocks fell down into the valley. “Yeah, I think you're right,” Tifa admitted. “I can't get over there either. What are we going to do?”

“I guess we're splitting up,” he sighed. “Try to make your way up to that northern cave, and I'll try and meet you there. If you can't get there, head back up the mountain and take the chocobos back. I've got the radio, so I can let Juanita and everyone know what's going on if something happens.”

“By yourself?” Barret called back. “Did you fuckers plan this or something?”

Zack snorted. “Hardly. Get out of here, you two. I'll be fine. I fucking love mountains.”

“Yeah, well, they don't seem to like you much,” Barret muttered.

“I heard that,” Zack called back.

Eventually, Tifa and Barret stopped talking and Zack listened to them leave the area. Then, for the first time, he wondered how the fuck he was going to get down the rest of this mountain.

\--

Zack did make it down the mountain. His suspicions proved to be correct. Getting _down_ wasn't the problem. Getting down _without dying_ was a little harder. But he made it. If he thought he was bruised and sore before, it was absolutely nothing compared to how he felt after he got down to the valley.

The sun set early in the valley, with the mountains to block it out, but he could see well enough in the dark, and he didn't want to sleep when there was the possibility of monsters anyway. He'd already bisected a few with Buster, though Cloud had been right; they hadn't been anything special. He assumed that the further they got, though, the tougher the monsters would be. He was well used to what monsters were like near Mako reactors, after all.

He was ten minutes into the labyrinth of rocks and broken boulders when the radio on his belt (which had thankfully survived numerous tumbles) went off.

“Zack, are you there?” Cloud's voice asked.

“Barely. I kind of messed up the radio,” Zack admitted. “You make it to the cave already?”

“I just got here. The monsters take a bit more effort down here. Make sure somebody's got a cure materia or something.”

“I've got a liquid cure in my bag that I'm itching to try out. Irving says they're super badass.”

“I'd rather not find that out, honestly. Where are you guys at?”

Sigh. Now it was time to admit they'd all got separated. “I just started into this mess. I have no idea how long it's going to take to find you.”

“...okay, you just did the thing where you said 'I' instead of 'we.'”

“Yeeeeeah, we kind of got separated earlier. There was a rock slide, and I ended up on one side, and Tifa and Barret on the other. No idea where Cait Sith is. The rest of us are all okay, though. Tifa and Barret are trying to get to you too.”

“Fuck, seriously?” Cloud groaned.

“Yeah. Sorry, Spikes. Looks like it's probably going to be just you and me.” Zack and Cloud were suited for this sort of thing, after all, with the Mako enhancements and all. Tifa and Barret were not.

“I suppose.” Cloud did not sound very happy about that.

“Look, I got a first class sense of direction,” Zack insisted. “I just gotta go north a while, and then a little west. I'll be there in no time.”

“Yeah, good luck.” There was a pause, and then the sound of someone coughing.

“Spikes?” Zack asked, concerned.

“Sorry. Fuck. There's all this goddamn sand and dust up here. It's hard to breathe.”

“Be careful. Get up on a ledge or something, can you do that? Hojo might have done something to it or something.”

“Good plan. Hold on.” Zack listened to Cloud move and imagined his boyfriend hopping effortlessly up the side of the mountain like the fucking mountain goat he was. “All right. I'm up. Hey, I have an idea. I'm going to blink my flashlight at you a couple of times. Can you get somewhere where you can see a distance?”

“Sure. Don't blink it too many times or you'll just tell all the monsters where you are, though.” He climbed up as best he could onto a boulder. “Okay, go for it.”

A moment later, something flashed briefly in the distance, once, and then twice. “I see you,” Zack said, and the flashing stopped. “You're not as far as I thought you were. Here--” He pulled out his own flashlight and blinked it at Cloud.

“There you are. What if I come down to meet you? It'd be safer if we move in a group anyway, with all these fucking monsters around. And then I'd be doing something.”

“Good idea. Is it safe for you to move around, though?”

“I haven't seen any monsters in a little while. I think they're avoiding the cave.”

“If even monsters are avoiding it, it might be a good idea to do the same. All right, I'll head straight toward you, and you head straight for me. I'll call in an hour or so if we haven't met up yet.”

“Got it,” Cloud replied. “See you soon.”

“Love you, babe. Take care.”

“Love you too.”

\--

It took a little repositioning a few times and about three hours, but they did finally meet up. Cloud barely had time to react to Zack's disheveled and beat up appearance, though, before he was being engulfed in those strong arms and listening to Zack's laughter. It seemed Zack had missed him as much as he had missed Zack, these last few days.

Cloud was content, for a few moments, to cling to Zack and bury his face in Zack's hair. It felt good to be back in these arms. And then Zack was pulling him back slightly so he could kiss him on the mouth. That felt very nice as well.

Zack let him go a moment later, and he looked his boyfriend up and down. “You look terrible,” he commented.

“Fuck you, I just fell down a mountain,” Zack groused.

“You _fell_ down it?” Cloud asked incredulously.

“Well....not all the way down. But there were some....pretty long slides,” Zack admitted, looking a little embarrassed.

“Goddamn it, Zack. You've got like blood all over your face.”

“It's nothing, Spikes. Just a little bump, okay?” Zack promised him, holding up his hands. “No concussion or anything. I promise.”

“I believe you, but it's still making me nervous. Come here.” Cloud pulled out his canteen and a spare shirt from his pack. He wet it slightly and reached up to wash the blood and dirt off of Zack's face. Zack winced a little when Cloud got to the cut that had caused all of it, but he was right; it was small and not a big deal for a big shot ex-SOLDIER.

He finished by pressing a kiss to the cut. “There. All better,” he said.

Zack laughed. “I didn't think you were serious when you said you'd kiss all my boo-boos better,” he commented. “You know, you should see the huge one on my dick.”

Cloud slugged him in the shoulder and turned to start walking away. “Come on, let's get moving.”

“I was kidding! Aww,” Zack sighed, trudging after him.

The sun wasn't even up yet when they made it back to the sandy wastelands Cloud had come from. Cloud led Zack up to the little ledge he had found, out of the dust and sand below. Cloud was exhausted from being up most of last night and all the travel he'd done that day, and Zack could tell, so they decided to rest a few hours before going into the cave.

Cloud suffered another coughing fit as he pulled out his sleeping bag, to the point where Zack was patting him on the back and frowning in concern. “I'm fine, it's fine, don't flip out,” Cloud said hastily, batting Zack away. “I've been trekking through that goddamn dusty shit again, that's all.”

“Cloud, it sounds like you're losing one of your lungs,” Zack commented.

“I'm fine. I promise,” Cloud said insistently. He took a drink from his canteen and sat down on the sleeping bag, pulling off his gloves and boots once be was settled. As he worked off his shoulder armor, he realized Zack was watching him. “What??”

“Easy, Spikes. I'm just...worried, you know?” Zack sighed, sitting down beside Cloud. “Everybody's getting sick, and I keep thinking, what if it's you next?”

“I don't have it, Zack. I can't, I don't think. You and everyone else in that lab are all fine, right? She's keeping her potential puppets nice and healthy,” Cloud replied, his voice bitter.

Zack went quiet for a long moment, considering what Cloud had to say.

“I thought that dream lady told you you didn't have Jenova in you anymore,” he finally offered.

“She was wrong,” Cloud retorted. “I saw her again last night, and she touched my hand before immediately flipping out and getting the fuck out of there. She said I didn't have them anymore, but maybe she was looking wrong. Now she knows, so she got out of there.”

Zack scratched his head. “I don't get any of this bullshit,” he admitted. “But if it means you're just allergic to dust or something, then I'm okay with it. Get some sleep, Spikes. We got a big day coming up tomorrow.”

“Wake me in a few hours so you can get some sleep too,” Cloud sighed, climbing into his sleeping bag.

Zack leaned down and kissed him gently. “Will do. G'night.”


	13. Chapter 13

This time, Cloud dreamed of a maze at the bottom of the ocean. He was trapped inside of it, anchored down with heavy rocks tied around his ankles. The water was a murky green, and he couldn't see far. He was looking for somebody, or for something. He needed to breathe, but he couldn't draw the oxygen out of the water. He dragged the rocks behind him as he pushed through the coral and seaweed, searching for someone he did not know, did not remember.

Zack was shaking his shoulder, then, and he snapped awake, only to realize it was hard to breathe here too. He curled up, coughing into his hand violently. When it finally passed, he wiped his mouth and sat up slowly. His throat hurt, and his chest ached.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

“Jesus, Cloud. Are you okay?” Zack asked, hands on his shoulders. “That sounded worse than before.”

“I'm fine, just--give me a second to catch my breath,” Cloud mumbled.

“Fine, my ass,” Zack replied, his voice dark. “Seriously, Cloud. Tell me what's going on. I'm tired of being left in the dark about this.”

“Wow, fuck you. Do you really think I'm lying to you here?” Cloud snapped. “Here's what I know. I started having random coughing fits yesterday afternoon. I haven't coughed anything up, and other than that, I feel fine. Oh, wait, you knew all that? Huh!”

“Don't be a wise ass,” Zack retorted. “I'm just worried about you.”

“Then don't yell at me for nothing, how about,” Cloud replied, pouting.

He heard Zack sigh behind him, and then there was a hand on his shoulder. He thought about shrugging it off, but he decided not to. “You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just--you'd tell me if there was something wrong, wouldn't you?” Zack asked.

“Well, probably,” Cloud replied, finally turning to look at him.

Zack gave him a look. “That isn't really all that reassuring,” he replied.

“Deal with it. And get some sleep. I'll watch until morning.”

“I'm sorry,” Zack said again, looking sad.

Cloud sighed. “I know. But I had shit dreams and woke up in a shit way, and now I'm a cranky asshole,” he replied. “I'm sorry about that part.”

Zack pulled off his boots and his armor, putting it next to Cloud's before climbing into the sleeping bag. “Do I at least get a good night kiss?” he asked.

“I guess,” Cloud teased, and then leaned down to kiss Zack. “Sleep well.”

“Mmh. You're not too mad to kiss me, so I'll consider it a success,” Zack said, smiling. “Good night, Cloud.”

Cloud rolled his eyes and grabbed his boots. Zack rolled over in the sleeping bag so his back was to Cloud, and so he started getting ready for the day.

He didn't notice anything wrong until he went to pull off his shirt and noticed a spot of blood on the palm of his right hand. He didn't have any injuries, and he was quite sure it hadn't come from Zack. Considering the only other thing on his hand was dried saliva, the only place it could have come from was his mouth, probably when he had had that coughing fit.

Okay. So he was coughing up blood. No big deal, right? Sure. He wiped the blood away and glanced over at Zack's back. He knew he ought to tell Zack...but not while he had just gone to sleep. Maybe later. There was nothing he could do about it now anyway.

He slid off his shirt, then. He didn't sleep with his binder on for various reasons, but that hadn't made the coughing any better so fuck that. Of course, as he wiggled into his binder, he noticed something else was wrong.

It was his scar, in his stomach, from Sephiroth's sword. Normally, it was a silvery white and stretched over his abdominal muscles. Today, however, the scar was an angry purple, and the skin around it was red and warm to the touch. He reached around to feel his back and realized fairly quickly that the matching wound there was also warmer than the rest of his skin.

Sephiroth's sword had pierced one of his lungs, back then. He remembered coughing up blood, feeling like he was drowning.

So that was that. His theory on why none of the rescues out of the lab had gotten sick was wrong, or maybe this was why Lillith had run from him. Either way, it meant he was infected. He had Jenovitis. And it wasn't a case of a healed shoulder getting sore and infected again. This was a wound that had been nearly fatal that was slowly opening up again, letting in infection.

He looked at Zack again, considered how slow the other man's breathing was. He was snoring slightly.

Good enough. Cloud searched through his pack for his medical supplies. He slathered the scars up with antibiotic cream and then taped a piece of gauze over each one, before wrapping his torso in bandages to hold everything in place. Then, he pulled on his shirt again and looked down at his stomach. His bandage job was invisible under the folds of fabric. Perfect.

He put everything back away and continued to get ready. He would have to tell Zack at some point, but they were _so close_ to finding Hojo, and he was not letting Zack go in alone. He wasn't going back without Zack, and he wasn't letting Zack leave when they were within spitting distance of Hojo's hideout.

So he'd just have to hold out a little bit longer. That was all.

He leaned back against the rock face and looked up at the sky, lacing his fingers behind his head. He considered what was happening to him. It was strange. He didn't quite feel worried, but he didn't feel good about things either. Back before, the prospect of dying wasn't particularly frightening. Losing himself in the Lifestream and becoming the lifeblood of the Planet didn't seem so bad.

But now, for the first time in a very long time, he had something to lose. He didn't want to die, because he'd just gotten Zack back, and he didn't want to give him up ever again. And he didn't want Zack to be sad, or Tifa, or Yuffie, or anybody else.

He didn't want to die. He wasn't afraid of dying--that was different. But for once in his twenty-two years, he wanted to _live_.

He hoped, rather savagely, that he got to be the one to kill Hojo tomorrow. Part of him just wanted to roll over and accept his fate as broken and dying from this stupid disease, but the rest of him wanted to beat the shit out of that guy and demand a cure. It wasn't just him who was affected by this, after all. He had to think about Cid, about Gabe, and Kale, and Zuri. If he couldn't do it for himself, he could do it for Zack and Tifa. He could do it for Lydia, and for Liam, and for everyone who cared about someone who was ill.

The sun came up too soon, and Cloud was left wondering if he should wake Zack up or let him sleep a little longer. He didn't know how long he had slept. But Zack solved the problem for him.

Cloud was slowly eating a canned ration for his breakfast when he heard murmuring from Zack's direction. He expected the other man to be awake, probably because of the sun coming up over the mountain range, but Zack was still dead asleep when he looked over. Asleep, but active. He was thrashing about in his sleeping bag, managing to wriggle halfway out of it.

Cloud recognized the issue immediately. He put aside his breakfast and crawled over, shaking Zack's shoulder before quickly backing off. “Zack! Hey, wake up,” he called, trying to wake his boyfriend without getting a black eye for his effort. Zack could be very aggressive when woken up from dreams like this, and Cloud knew that from experience.

Zack gasped and sat straight up, looking around in distress. When his gaze settled on Cloud, he seemed to calm down a bit. Before he knew it, though, Cloud found himself with a lapful of Zack, with strong arms wrapped tightly around him and a mess of black hair all he could see.

“Hey,” he said quietly, hugging Zack and rubbing his back gently. “I'm okay. I'm right here. We're okay, right?”

Zack didn't answer, just held him tightly. Cloud let him. He knew Zack had nightmares the way he did, but he usually calmed down pretty quickly after waking up and hardly ever talked about them. Back in that little apartment in Midgar, they'd been the founders of the coffee-at-four-am-because-I-don't-want-to-go-back-to-sleep-anyway club. Zack had had nightmares back in Shinra, though, too, but they hadn't shared a bed or even a bedroom back then. Cloud hadn't been able to do much, save those times when they were on a mission together.

This was different than those times...but things were different between them now too. Cloud gently rubbed his back and stroked his hair, content to simply hold his lover until he calmed down.

Eventually, Zack pulled back, but he stayed near. His hand cupped Cloud's cheek and he pressed his forehead against Cloud's. “Don't ever leave,” he whispered, and Cloud understood what kind of dream Zack must have been having.

“I'm not going anywhere,” Cloud told him. “I'm yours.”

Zack hummed his approval at this response, leaning back a little and reaching his hand up to brush some of Cloud's hair out of his eyes. “At last, I've tamed the savage Strife,” he said. His words were playful and his mouth was hinting at a smile, but there was still some dredges of worry left in his voice.

“And I've trained the unruly Fair,” Cloud retorted, smiling at him.

“I almost always use the toilet properly,” Zack replied very seriously.

Cloud actually started laughing at that one. “Almost always,” he agreed.

Zack gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then, with some reluctance, pulled back. Cloud picked up his breakfast again while Zack absently cast around for his clothing. He seemed distracted by something, and Cloud wasn't going to push it. It was probably related to that dream he'd been having, and he hadn't really talked much about it.

Cloud watched appreciatively while Zack dressed and washed his face with some of the canteen water. His morning ration gone, he packed away the empty can and then went through Zack's bag. He found a hairbrush, even though it didn't look like Zack had bothered using it since the start of the journey. Once Zack was dressed, Cloud motioned him over.

“Eat some breakfast while I try to work out all the rats' nests that have grown in here,” he said, sitting Zack in front of him.

“Be gentle with me, Spikes. I'm very sensitive,” Zack told him, tilting his head back far enough to look at him.

“Yeah, I've seen you cry when I pull too hard,” Cloud replied, snorting.

Zack popped the top on his ration and made a gagging noise before starting in on it, and Cloud carefully picked a piece of the tangle of black to start on. He was very gentle, only tugging when he absolutely had to. He wanted this to be a good experience for Zack, one where he could feel Cloud's affection for him pouring through each motion of the brush. Just in case.

Ugh. Fuck this melodramatic thinking. He tugged a little too hard on accident, and Zack made a whining sound. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

It took longer than it should have, because Cloud was being extremely careful, but Zack didn't complain about that. Instead, when Cloud finally shoved the brush away, he turned and laid his head on Cloud's knee. “Thank you, Spikes,” he said fondly. “I think I needed that today.”

“Yeah, you gotta be the badass hero here because I'm going to be whimpering and clinging to your hand the entire goddamn way in,” Cloud told him.

Zack made a face. “Fuck, that's what I was planning to do with you,” he replied.

“We'll make him cough up the antidote by threatening to wipe our snotty noses on his beautiful lab coat,” Cloud snorted.

“Perfect. You always had such a good eye for strategy.”

\--

It became apparent very quickly that they were in the right place. Zack called up Juanita to update her on the situation and to give her their coordinates as best as he could when he was making an estimate.

After entering the mouth of the cavern, they only had to walk about ten minutes before the cavern was lit up with electric lights, and soon after that, the circular tunnel shifted into a metal reinforced square hallway. Even from here, they could smell the cloying scent of Mako, and it made Cloud want to throw up. The only sound was their footsteps echoing down the corridor and the buzz of the lights.

Cloud hovered near Zack, and Zack obliged him by doing the same. They were both scared out of their minds, and they both knew it. Hojo was worst thing that had happened to either of them, leaving years worth of traumatic memories and emotional scars, and now they were willingly walking straight into the lion's den. Cloud had no uncertainty that he would not have been able to walk into this place on his own.

The hallway curved sharply a ways in, and as they slowed to approach it quietly, Cloud realized he was getting out of breath. He could feel a cough building in his throat, and he tried to swallow it down, but it was getting more and more difficult to suppress the urge.

Zack held a finger to his lips and crept forward to the edge of the turn. While he did so, Cloud leaned against the wall and tried to suck air into his lungs properly. It wasn't working, and his chest was burning with the effort, and this was definitely not going to work, holy shit.

He allowed himself one tiny cough, but that was the wrong course of action. Now nothing was going to be able to stop him. He coughed again, gagged, stumbled to his knees. One arm crossed over his stomach, he doubled over, unable to stop the wracking coughs heaving through his entire body. He gagged again, and then blood was spilling out of his mouth, onto the ground.

No--not just onto the ground. Onto Zack's boot as the other man knelt down in front of him, grasping his shoulders. Cloud kept coughing, wincing his eyes shut at the burning pain all down his throat, but no more blood came up. Another cough, and then he was just wheezing.

“Cloud?” Zack said, his voice almost sounding timid with his worry and fear.

Cloud sat back, out of his grip, and swiped an arm across his mouth. Then he spit in the pool of blood, trying to get the taste out of his mouth.

“I'm okay,” he murmured, arm still crossed over his stomach. The nagging pain had turned into a full blown burning sensation.

“The _fuck_ you are,” Zack snapped. “Fucking _hell_ , Cloud. You just--you're--you...you have it, don't you.”

Cloud exhaled slowly and arranged himself so he was leaning back against the wall with his legs in front of him. He avoided looking at Zack, but he did nod slowly.

He jumped a second later as Zack's fist crashed into the metal wall. “Fuck. Fuck! Goddamn it, Cloud!” Zack snarled, and punched the wall again. “You fucking _lied_ to me. I can't even--I don't--”

“I didn't lie,” Cloud replied insistently. “I figured it out while you were asleep.”

“That's why you were so nice to me this morning. You hugged me, told me you weren't going anywhere. You brushed my hair!” Zack snapped. “Goddamn it, Cloud! Why didn't you _tell_ me?!”

“How could I tell you?” Cloud asked, holding his head in his hands. “You woke up terrified that I wasn't going to be there. And--what would it matter, then? I wasn't going back, and I wasn't letting you go in here alone. This is the only option.”

Zack didn't reply in words, only punching the wall again.

“Where is it?” he finally asked, after a moment of silence. “Your lungs?”

“No, ah...it's...here.” Cloud pressed a hand to his stomach, just below his rib cage.

Zack was standing above him, then. He held out a hand to pull him up. “Let me see it.”

Without a word, Cloud accepted Zack's help and then rolled up his shirt. The bandage was still securely in place, and he tugged it down. The scar was seeping blood and pus now, just a little bit, just enough to wet the gauze slightly. The skin around it was so deep red that it was almost purple.

Zack cursed violently. “It had to be _that_ one, didn't it,” he scowled.

Cloud shrugged. “He nicked my lung, remember?” he mumbled.

“Yeah,” Zack replied, sounding tired. “I remember.”

“Oh, come on,” Cloud groaned. “We're here to fix this entire problem, right? This is the whole reason we're here. We're going to fix this. We are like right on his goddamn doorstep to get our answer. I will be fine. I will get through this. I have to, because this is the first time since I can remember that I want to keep on living. I want to--to spend the next six hundred years with you, Zack! I can't fucking die right after you come back. That is not something that's going to happen.”

Zack seemed to consider that. He probably knew Cloud was putting up his best brave front for him, and he probably knew the chances of them getting Hojo to cooperate were slim to none. He would have to try to be brave too, though he seemed to be having some trouble with that at the moment.

“Besides,” Cloud continued, puffing up his chest and tapping it twice with a closed fist, “I'm rock solid Mako.”

It was something Zack had said to him a few times before, way back in their Shinra days together, right before he had gone on some particularly dangerous mission that Cloud had been worried about. There was one time he had come back with his leg fractured in seven places, a dislocated hip, and three bruised ribs. But he had always come back.

And it had the intended effect. Zack laughed--ruefully, but it was a laugh. He reached out and took Cloud's hand, still balled into a fist. “Sure, you are,” he said.

Cloud allowed his hand to open and take Zack's in his own. “Let's get this shit over with.”

\--

They followed the hallway further in, careful to keep their footsteps quiet as possible. It wasn't always feasible--there were monsters roaming the corridor, after all. Hojo likely knew they were coming, which was far from ideal, but they had little choice in the matter.

At long last, they found a door. The corridor simply dead-ended into it without any sort of alternate paths or anything else. It wasn't even a fancy door, just a standard metal door with a normal looking doorknob. No lock, no keypad, nothing. Zack ventured forward, keeping himself between Cloud and whatever was in the next room and one hand on Buster's hilt, and tried the handle.

It opened right up, into a huge natural cavern. The ceiling was probably ten meters above them and made of the dark rock of the mountain. Tarnished metal supports lined the edges and made up the walls. Computers and machinery lined the walls, and Zack could see a group of glass cylinders on one side hooked up to a gently rumbling machine that glowed green through its little windows, the sight of which made Zack want to throw up, just out of principle.

In the center of the large room was a giant machine stretching all the way from floor to ceiling. It was cylindrical, with a large rounded band around the base. There was a window extending around the pipe-like machine, and that too glowed green. Probably part of the reactor. The air was tinged with the heavy scent of Mako, and the room was filled with the hum of electronics. Something near the ceiling shot out a few sparks every now and then.

There was also an obnoxious buzzing in his head from all the machinery, making it difficult to focus on his task. Or maybe that came from that knock he'd gotten on his head yesterday. He was going to need an entire fucking bottle of pain pills after this. Falling off a mountain will do that to you.

This was definitely Hojo's lab. There was no doubt about that.

Zack stepped in the room, pulling out Buster as he looked around. He wanted nothing more than to take his sword and smash this place to bits, but he knew better. For one, the mountain was unstable, and doing so could just take the entire thing down on them. For another, somewhere in this mess of computers and cables could be the answer to their problem.

Cloud followed behind him, his own sword in hand, looking around in obvious distaste. Right. The sooner they were out of here, the better.

Zack didn't see Hojo at first, but as they rounded the reactor in the center of the room, he noticed a figure facing one of the computers. The man was wearing a white lab coat and had a long dark ponytail and--yeah, was almost definitely Hojo.

Nodding Cloud to go around the other way, Zack began his approach. He stepped quietly, advancing slowly with his sword at the ready, just in case something happened. A glance up told him Cloud was doing the same, approaching from the other side. But Hojo did not move, only continued typing on the old computer, his full attention seemingly on the screen.

“Hello, Professor,” Zack said, when they were close enough. “I'd like you to turn around very slowly and put your hands in the air, please. I've got a great big sword and an even bigger grudge, so don't fucking test me.”

Slowly and deliberately, Hojo raised both hands in the air and turned around. He looked at Zack first, and then turned to Cloud. “Well. You have me. I'm no fighter,” he said, smiling wanly. “Welcome to my home. How may I help you?”

“You can give us the cure to Jenovitis,” Cloud retorted. Zack noticed his hands were trembling a little. Cloud was pissed as hell and barely restraining himself.

“Jeno...vitis. Interesting. This is the first I've heard of the term,” Hojo replied, looking rather amused.

“You know what I mean,” Cloud snapped, advancing a little. Hojo hastily stepped back, nearly into Buster. “You know what it is, because you manufactured it. Jenova is infecting people--people are _dying_.”

Hojo paused for a moment and then started laughing. It was his godawful cackle that Zack had heard far too many times. He had to restrain himself from taking off Hojo's head right there. The grating pain in his head was intensifying, as if responding directly to his level of anger.

Still facing Cloud, Hojo lowered his empty hands and used one to push his glasses up his nose before clasping them behind his back. “Hmm, let's see here. You, I remember you. The failure, right?” he said, twisting his mouth in distaste. “Ugh. An unfortunate oversight on my part, to be sure. I thought you'd be dead by now.”

“Surprise. I'm still around,” Cloud said flatly.

“Obviously. Ah, well. There's nothing to do about it now,” Hojo replied. He looked at Zack. “And you...hmm. You were one of mine too, weren't you? Of course, of course. Nibelheim. Yes, I remember now. You were something of a failure too, although in some ways you were one of my greatest successes. What, with you escaping and dragging that one all the way to Midgar before we caught up with you.”

“You're trying to rile me up,” Zack commented. “It isn't going to work. We're here to get that antidote. So cough it up.”

“I assure you I have no antidote,” Hojo told him. “Surely you must realize that I don't have control over Jenova. She is poisoning people...how extraordinary! I should like to see such a thing myself.”

“Okay, fine. Where is she?” Cloud demanded.

Hojo smiled and opened his mouth to answer, but Zack suddenly realized he couldn't hear what the professor was saying. The buzzing in his head was so loud and so angry--god fucking _damn_ it, he couldn't _think_ , he couldn't _see_. He dropped his sword with a clatter to the metal floor and put his hands over his ears, grating his teeth against the pressure in his head. It felt like something was crushing his skull, but there was nothing real, nothing corporeal there, just his hands. He stumbled and fell to his knees with a groan, dimly aware of Cloud shouting his name.

He knew what this was, suddenly. He had felt this before, back in his days in Shinra, right after he'd been inducted into SOLDIER. The Mako showers, he remembered those, and the injections that had burned like hell, and the headache that had grabbed hold of his head and _yanked_ \--

Jenova. This was Jenova.

He focused his attention on the pull, then, on the direction his mind was being yanked in. And then he lifted one shaky hand and pointed. “She's--she's that way,” he managed, praying Cloud would understand. “Get her. Please, she's--aaaauuuugh.”

Cloud was off before Zack could even finish his thought. He heard a crash of electronics distantly, as though from a great distance, and then he felt his hand close on Buster's hilt. Everything was hazy, and he was having trouble remembering what he had come here for in the first place. The world felt warped and unreal, like someone had drained all the color out and had also dumped him underwater.

Who was he here with? Why was he here? He felt like he was supposed to be doing something important, but someone had wrapped a blanket around his consciousness, and everything was dark, hazy, filled with spider webs. Someone...someone...was speaking to him.

“You have to stop him,” said Mother.

“Yeah,” Zack replied, and stood up slowly.


	14. Chapter 14

“Damn,” Barret muttered. “I ain't made for this.”

He was dangling from one arm over a ledge, his toes barely brushing the next ledge. His face was covered with a sheen of sweat, and he dropped down with a sigh, shaking out his arm.

“The base of the mountain isn't as steep, don't worry,” Tifa reminded him as she peered over the edge of the ledge they were perched on. She too was dead on her feet, and she really wanted to quit. Climbing down a particularly steep and unstable mountain in the middle of the night was not such a great idea, but she felt like they were out of options. Neither she nor Barret had slept since last night, before they'd gotten split up with Zack and Cait Sith.

That had been a turning point in their trip. Zack was built for the terrain in the valley, all muscle and Mako. Tifa had seen the way Cloud could go, remembered the thick burn of her tired muscles in that sixty floor climb in the Shinra building. He had barely broken a sweat and had never slowed down even once. Zack was on his way to meet up with Cloud. They both had radios, and Tifa and Barret had...nothing. No Mako, no radio, nothing.

It had been hard for her to turn back, but Barret had been right. They'd make better time if they met up with Nanaki's group of scouts looking out for the back entrance. Zack had said not to come through, but this situation was not ideal. Right now, it looked Zack and Cloud were going to be facing whatever Hojo had on their own, and, well, Tifa didn't know all the details, but she knew enough of what had happened to them to know that this was likely not a good thing.

She had to get to Cloud before something happened.

Pausing to catch her breath, she looked down the steep slope leading down to the base of the mountain. It wasn't much further until they'd be able to put the climbing gear away and just use the walking sticks for balance. They'd been climbing all night to try and get around to Nanaki's group as soon as possible. The lack of sleep would be detrimental, yes, but it was more important that they got there as quickly as they could.

It had been a whole lot easier to take care of Cloud while they were running around, trying to save the world from Sephiroth, she reflected with a small, ironic smile. Even though she hadn't known what to _do_ with him most of the time, she had always been by his side. She had always been there for him, and in the end, that had been what he needed. What did he need now? She wasn't always sure--she mostly knew that being there for him wasn't helping as much as she wanted it to.

She had watched Cloud try to piece together his life again after the Meteor crisis was over. At first, he had done fine, helping to pick up the pieces of the broken city. He rebuilt homes. He moved debris. He'd chased off monsters. He'd even been an integral part in convincing Tifa to reopen the Seventh Heaven bar, which in the end had been how she had met Zuri and started over with her.

But slowly, the work of putting the city back together had run out, and Cloud had stagnated. Tifa had managed to convince him to stay in the apartment over the bar--she could keep an eye on him then, she figured. There was something not right with him. There always had been, but it had been much worse after he'd returned into her life in Midgar. She had thought it would get better after that trip she had taken through his subconscious, and it had--to a point. But she couldn't help feeling like there was a part of Cloud that she didn't know, that she couldn't reach.

It scared her, quite frankly.

That was why she wanted to keep an eye on him. She was grateful, too, that Zack had such a close relationship with him, because she was afraid to leave him to his own devices.

And now, Cloud was alone. At least until Zack could meet up with him. And as much as Zack's protective nature when it came to Cloud was reassuring, Tifa still needed to be there. She needed to be closer, she needed to protect Cloud too.

There was a time in her life when she had asked Cloud to rescue her, if she was ever in trouble. It had been a stupid thing to ask for, but it had been a dream of hers when she had been little. Cloud was leaving on an journey to be a hero. So of course she had wanted him to rescue her. (It didn't dissuade her at all that she thought of Cloud as a girl back then; in some weird way, he had been her first step on recognizing her own sexuality, thanks to that huge crush she had--that had sort of faded away when she realized that he wasn't really a girl after all.)

But she couldn't sit around and wait for her hero to rescue her--she had recognized that after he and most of the other kids her age started leaving Nibelheim for greener pastures. After Sephiroth had come back to Nibelheim, she had decided she couldn't wait for a hero any longer. She had to be the hero herself. 

And so maybe she had turned the promise around a little. She would be the one to rescue Cloud, that was what she had decided. 

But how was she going to do that when he was walking right into Hojo's front door while she scrambled down this stupid mountain? 

“Come on,” Tifa called to Barret impatiently. “If we hurry, we'll be at the bottom of the mountain by morning, and then--” 

“I'm tryin' here,” Barret groused. “Fuck. I can't move as fast as you can, you _know_ that.” 

“Sorry,” she sighed, pausing to crouch down for a quick break. “I'm just--I'm worried about them.” 

“You and me both,” he grumbled as his feet hit the ledge next to her. “But sliding down this thing on my ass ain't gonna make me any faster, you know.” 

“I know.” 

Tifa wanted to keep moving, but her muscles were protesting. She was exhausted, and everything hurt. This mountain was both harder and easier to scale than the Nibel mountains back home. Easier because they were smaller and there were barely any monsters to bother them, but harder because they were steeper and had a tendency to crumble away under their feet. She didn't want to stop, though, because she was afraid it would be harder to start going again if she did. 

“I'm just--” 

“You're worried. Shit, I know that,” Barret replied. “You think I'm not?” 

Tifa frowned. Barret had no idea what Cloud and Zack had gone through at Hojo's hands. He hadn't been there when Cloud had had that flashback in the basement. He hadn't seen how it had affected Cloud. 

“You worry too much,” Barret continued, leaning against the rocky cliff they were in front of. “You always been like that, you know? You worry so much 'bout everyone else, and you forget to take care of you sometimes.” He looked at her, rubbing the back of his neck with his metal hand. “Look at you, falling down this goddamn mountain trying to get to Cloud.” 

“You know how he is,” Tifa replied, frowning and twisting her hands together, looking away. “I kind of hate leaving him alone.” 

“I know he don't take care of himself when he's sitting around at home, but I've seen him take on some scary shit all on his own,” Barret said. “He might not be able to feed himself or whatever, but when he's fighting, he knows what's up. 'Sides, he's probably met up with Zack by now.” 

“I know! I know,” she replied, sighing. “I'm just...he's...not okay, you know? And now...” 

Now, that was just too much. Tifa found herself blinking back angry tears. She felt so _useless_ on the side of this stupid mountain, with Cloud marching into Hojo's lab and Zuri confined to a hospital bed with a disease that might not have a cure at all... 

“And now I can't do _anything_ to help anyone,” she concluded, swiping her eyes angrily. 

Barret shook his head. “For someone so smart, you sure are damn stupid,” he commented. 

“What's that supposed to mean?” 

“It means that you help everyone you ever met. You said that spiky headed moron wasn't okay--well, he was sure a whole lot _less_ okay when I first met him. You really think he'd be okay to walk into a place like that if he didn't know he had you backing him up? And what about Zuri? Meteor hit her damn hard, you know.” 

It was true: Zuri had lost most of her family in the Meteor incident. She had wandered into Seventh Heaven one night to get drunk to forget her losses, and instead she had ended up crying on Tifa's shoulder long after the bar had closed. Tifa was used to chatting with the patrons, listening to their stories, and remembering them. But Zuri hadn't just had a story. In her depression, she could only see what had been lost. She could only feel the bad parts. 

Tifa had struggled with that too, at first. But she'd been able to open her eyes to the slow rebuilding of the world around her. She'd seen people help each other who would have never spoken to each other without the catastrophe. 

And so Tifa shared what she had seen and what she had learned. She told Zuri about how she had lost her family too, one by one, until she was alone. Then she told Zuri about her new family. They weren't bound by blood, it was true, but they were still a family. 

But now... 

“Zuri's dying,” Tifa said flatly, biting her lip to keep from crying again. “If we can't fix this...” 

“She ain't gonna die,” Barret replied. “That's why we're here.” 

“I know, but...” 

Barret didn't say anything for a long moment. He knew as well as she did that there might be no cure for this. He knew that even with Hojo's help, there might be no way to reverse the effects of the disease. And he knew that they might just be fighting for nothing, in the end. 

“Look. I know it's stupid, but maybe we gotta trust Cloud's got this,” he finally said. “I think you help him a lot more than you realize, you know? Maybe you already did your part.” 

“I'm not stopping!” she retorted. 

“I ain't suggesting we stop. Maybe I'm just sayin' you've done a lot more than you give yourself credit for,” he replied. “Stop beating yourself up.” 

Tifa closed her eyes for a moment. She took in a deep breath. Barret was right. If Cloud could do this, and if she had any part in _why_ he could do it--that would have to be enough. 

“...all right,” she finally said. “Are you ready to keep going?” 

“Yeah.” 

“....thanks, Barret.” 

He hefted his pack again, their little break over. Glancing in her direction, he flashed her a wide smile. “Not like I can't be helpful too once in a while,” he replied. “Come on, let's get goin'.” 

\-- 

Nanaki caught sight of the three chocobos first, pounding in a gallop around the curve of the mountainside. He ran out to meet them once he could confirm they were allies and led them back to where the group had uncovered the mouth of a small, man-made cave. 

Tifa noticed the monsters corpses first, littering the area in a wide semicircle surrounding the little group. Hojo had kept this exit well guarded, it seemed. 

Near the mouth of the cave, Liam was seated on the ground leaning back against a tree, poking at some canned rations and balancing a rifle across his knees. Vincent was seated on a ledge above the cave, quiet and serene with his eyes closed lightly. Juanita was perched near Vincent with a set of binoculars, surveying the northern plains, her gaze sweeping back and forth methodically. 

The sun was up now and had been for a few hours. Tifa was sore and exhausted, and she found she could barely will herself to climb down off of her chocobo. Barret seemed to be in a similar state as she was, grumbling curses under his breath as he slowly climbed down. 

“What happened?” Nanaki asked, pouncing up the rocky cliff face worriedly. “We know you got separated from Zack, but we didn't expect you go come back this way.” 

“Did you hear from Zack?” Tifa asked, suddenly filled with a rush of energy. She leapt down off of the chocobo, even though only a moment ago, she wasn't sure she would be able to do so. “What about Cloud? Did they meet up?” 

“Yeah, and they're marching in that hellhole right now,” Juanita called, lowering her binoculars. “I was hoping you two would be right behind 'em, but I guess that was wishful thinking, huh?” 

“We thought we'd make better time meetin' up with your group,” Barret explained. “You should see that shit down in that valley. It's a goddamn mess. We ain't gettin' in that way.” 

“So, what, are we just waiting for one of them to call before we go in?” Tifa asked. She had expected to be at Cloud's side by this point, helping him fight his demons--the literal ones, now, as well as the figurative ones. Just sitting here waiting seemed like the worst thing to do. “There are only the two of them now. They're going to need the backup. We should go and meet them.” 

“Unfortunately, we cannot just rush into this,” Vincent spoke up. He stood from his perch and gracefully leapt down from the ledge he had been seated on, and then swung his arm out in a wide arc to indicate the various monster corpses. “As you can see, we did have some trouble securing this location. It seems that Hojo is very protective of his exit route.” 

“But you have secured it!” Tifa protested. “They're going to need our help! Who knows what Hojo has in there? Besides...” Besides, chances were, whatever was left of Jenova was also in that place. 

Tifa didn't continue, and it wasn't only because she didn't want to say what she was thinking, but also because it was clear that Nanaki was not paying attention to the conversation. He stepped forward, his ears perked up and pointed toward the northern horizon. She had seen him do this before, when they had journeyed together on their pursuit of Sephiroth. 

“What is it, Nanaki?” she asked quietly. 

“There are vehicles approaching,” he said, his lone eye focused sharply on the horizon. 

“Vehicles? What the fuck?” Barret demanded, shielding his eyes with one large hand as he squinted in the direction Nanaki was focused on. 

Juanita had her binoculars out again. “One vehicle,” she corrected. “It's a helicopter. Shinra.” 

“Hm,” Liam said, apparently unconcerned by this. “A bit early, aren't they?” 

“No,” Juanita replied. “They're right on time.” 

Tifa couldn't help the momentary burst of mistrust blossoming in her chest. “What? Who? We didn't ask for reinforcements. We took everyone with us!” she insisted. She didn't know Juanita and Liam the way Zack or even Cloud did. 

“Not everyone, sweetheart,” Juanita replied. 

“The hell's that supposed to mean!?” Barret demanded. “Who's coming?! Damn it!” 

“Don't twist your panties in a knot, big guy,” Liam retorted. “It's backup.” 

“You don't need to worry about it,” Juanita sighed. “Damn. This sure got complicated.” 

“I believe,” Vincent put in, “that it's quickly becoming something that concerns the rest of us.” He gestured with his claw, golden metal catching the light of the sun. In the distance, the glint of metal of the helicopter's hull was getting bigger. 

“Can you at least tell us what to expect here? This wasn't a part of the original plan,” Tifa asked, folding her arms over her chest. She was tired and sore, but she would be able to fight if she had to. 

“Sorry, miss. It's a military op, and you don't got clearance,” Juanita told her, sounding irritated. “But I can promise you it isn't what you're thinking.” 

“And how the hell do you know what we're thinkin'!?” Barret demanded. 

“Oh, please,” Liam retorted. “Your suspicions are written all over your face.” 

“You can't deny that you're all acting a bit suspicious, though,” Tifa replied, worrying at her lower lip. 

“Be that as it may,” Vincent said, “there isn't much we can do about the approaching vehicle. We also can't stop whatever is coming this way from getting here, so perhaps it would be beneficial to--” 

“Will you all please stop!!” Nanaki put in in a surprisingly loud voice. His voice rumbled in an almost alien way--very much inhuman and very much threatening. Tifa had never once heard him speak like this. She remembered him howling in the shadow of his petrified father, Seto, underneath the full moon of Cosmo Canyon--his voice held that quality to it, and Tifa was forced to remember just how different he truly was. The arguing conversation died down to a quiet murmur, and everyone turned their attention toward the large cat, standing proudly above them all on an outcropping of rock. 

“Thank you,” Nanaki said, much more quietly. The strange, inhuman quality to his voice had all but disappeared. “Now, I understand your fears, but what I do know is that Zack trusts Juanita and Liam with not only his life but all of ours. The other thing I know is that Juanita called this a military operation. Might I remind you that the military is on our side now?” 

Tifa felt a little embarrassed, suddenly, about her complete distrust. While it might have been true that she hadn't known either Juanita or Liam well enough to trust them, she _did_ know Zack--and moreover, she knew how much Cloud trusted Zack. Nanaki was right--Zack wouldn't have paired up these people with Cloud's friends if he didn't trust them. 

“So you're sayin' that whatever these two assholes are up to is probably to our benefit anyway?” Barret asked, rubbing his chin. His face still clearly stated he did not trust Juanita or Liam, but he didn't push it. 

“That's what I believe,” Nanaki replied. He looked over at Juanita. “Am I wrong?” 

“No,” Juanita replied. “But it's not quite as cut and dry as you think.” 

“Either way,” Vincent said, gesturing once again to the approaching helicopter, “we will find out the truth soon enough.” 

“I hate to break up the party, but it looks like we've got a bit more company than we had anticipated,” Liam called, gesturing to the mountainside behind them. 

Tifa looked up at the mountain and blinked in surprise. There were three good sized monsters on their way down, long, agile limbs made specifically for navigating the rocky terrain. They appeared to be some sort of spider-like creature, eight long legs connecting to a central body section. The body had a head on it with faceted eyes and a mouth full of needle-like teeth. 

“Time to earn our keep,” Barret muttered to Tifa, transforming his prosthetic hand into its machine gun form. 

Tifa pressed her hands together, feeling the tough leather of the Premium Heart on her right fist. “These are Hojo's monsters, guarding the exit?” she asked. 

Juanita was checking to make sure her handgun was loaded, and satisfied, she clicked off the safety. “Seems like it,” she replied. “You ready?” 

Tifa nodded once. Nanaki was growling, the fur on his neck and back standing on end. On his own outcropping of rock, Vincent pointed the Death Penalty at one of the monsters and fired off a single shot. 

One of the monsters screamed in pain, one of its eight legs shattering at the joint. Green-black ichor spilled out of its wound. It tripped, falling to its belly and sliding down the mountain, taking down with it a number of rocks and boulders. Wherever its inky blood spilled, the rock began to steam as it was eaten away. 

“Watch out!” Tifa shouted. “Its blood looks like it's acidic!” 

That was going to be a problem for her and Nanaki and Liam, who were all best versed in close quarters combat. Still, she trusted she could get some hits in without too much damage, so long as she was careful. Nanaki knew what he was doing, and Liam...well, she had no idea what to expect from him, honestly. He seemed capable, though. She'd worry about him later. Besides, there was always magic. Tifa was fully equipped with some materia that would cause some good damage. 

_______One of the undamaged monsters leapt from the rocks with startling speed and landed on the opposite side of the group. Rocks and dirt sprayed into the air from its landing, its legs digging into the soil. It hissed, opening its maw wide and showing off rows of teeth as sharp as a knife and as long as Tifa's forearm._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______The second monster, damaged by Vincent's shot, arrived second, back on seven legs now, and it stayed on the far side of the group, nearest to Nanaki and Vincent. Blood poured from its leg, and the scant plant life in the rocky soil wilted immediately wherever it came into contact with it._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______The final monster arrived on the opposite side of the wounded one, standing easily on the uneven terrain, thanks to its many legs._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Tifa glanced around, realizing immediately what was happening. “They're boxing us in! Cutting off any escape,” she exclaimed._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“That's fine,” Liam growled, a pair of deadly kunai glittering in his hands. “I wasn't planning on running anyway.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Next to Tifa, Barret grinned widely, raising up his gun arm to point at one of the monsters. “Ain't nowhere else I'd rather be,” he commented, glancing at Tifa. “You ready?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Tifa smiled tightly, tugging at the cuff of her gloves. “Always.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Barret opened fire, smattering the spider monster directly in the face. It screamed and blindly swiped at Barret with one leg. Tifa saw her opening, and she took it. Running in near the area where the leg connected to the body, she jumped, her boot impacting the leg right at its bottom joint. She used the leverage from that to leap further into the air. She came down on the monster's back, slamming her elbow down on the top of its head. She watched in gruesome fascination as the monster's carapace cracked slightly. Perfect._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______She didn't manage to stay on its back, though. Despite not actually being able to lever any of its arms up to reach its back, it could feel her there and started bucking. She jumped backwards rather than trying to stay on it. She heard a gunfire report as Barret shot off another round as she fell back onto the earth, the wind knocked out of her. She rolled to the side just in time to miss a giant leg that would have pierce her stomach if she hadn't gotten out of the way._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______This was not a good place to be. Barret was taking out the thing's eyes, and it was flailing around, hurt and bleeding. Tifa needed to get out before it bled on her or stepped on her or any of the other various bad things it could to her happened. She rolled backwards and jumped up to her feet just in time to see Nanaki fly by, a streak of red and orange, and leave eight perfect gouges in the monster's carapace._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Now out of the way, Tifa used the distraction Nanaki had provided to conjure up a powerful ice spell. She held it in the palm of her hand until she could feel the magic raising all the hair on her arms and giving her the shivers, and then she shoved it out at the monster with a shout._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______The monster was moving around too much for her to make a perfectly accurate hit, but she did manage to encase the end of two of its legs in ice._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Unfortunately, they were not the legs closest to her, and the time it took to cast the spell was also enough time for the monster to turn. She caught the full brunt of the leg impacting into her arm and her left side, and she hit the ground hard._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Tifa?!” Barret shouted._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“I'm okay!” she yelled back, struggling to her feet. She was irritated with herself for getting sloppy. Fortunately, she didn't seem to be badly damaged. She was going to have some impressive bruises tomorrow, and she was sore as hell, but she was all right._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______She almost immediately had to leap out of the way as the monster turned on her as much as it could with two frozen legs. It snapped at her with its gaping maw, and she kicked it in the face, knocking out a few teeth and causing it to rear back in pain and fury. Barret was firing his gun at it again, but he wasn't doing much damage, since he was on the other side of the monster and had to be careful to not hit Tifa._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______There was the sudden roar of an engine, and something to her left exploded. One of the other monsters screamed, and Juanita was shouting, “Get back! Get down!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Tifa had only a moment to look up and see the Shinra logo on the helicopter before someone was leaning out the door with a missile launcher. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she dove for cover only seconds before the missile was fired with deadly accuracy, piercing the monster's hard shell like it was nothing. Sticky black ichor exploded outwards, sizzling as it hit the rocks Tifa was behind. One of the monster's legs was still twitching, but there was nothing left of its body or head._ _ _ _ _ _ _

There was another explosion a few moments later, and then it was over. 

Tifa's hair whipped back and forth as the helicopter landed on the ground just beyond the scene of the battle. She glanced around, taking stock of the situation. Barret had some nasty looking cuts on his arm. Nanaki was limping a little bit. Liam had a hole in the leg of his pants from some of the monster blood, and his skin underneath was burned and blistered. Vincent had managed to stay back, away from most of the battle. Juanita had a large cut on her cheek but seemed otherwise okay. 

The door to the helicopter was still open, and Tifa had to admit she was not overly surprised as Rude, still hauling his giant missile launcher on his shoulder, hopped out. Behind him, Yuffie hopped out and made a face at the dead monsters littering the ground. 

“That all?” Rude asked, not bothering to take off his sunglasses to look around. 

“Aw man, I missed all the action,” Yuffie groaned. 

Tseng climbed out next, saying nothing as he carefully dusted off his blazer. 

“The Turks!?” Barret demanded. “What the fuck y'all doing here?!” 

“I told you we had our own business in Wutai,” Tseng said coolly. “It just happens that it's in the same general area as your business. You did well to secure our entrance, and for that, we thank you.” 

“Fuck! You tellin' me you just followed us in!?” Barret growled. “And you got Yuffie with you too?! What the hell you doing here, Yuffie!?” 

“Screw you! I hitched a ride after getting Cid to the hospital, because I didn't want to miss out on the action!” Yuffie retorted, flicking Barret off. 

Reno was the next off the helicopter. “It was too dangerous to just march on in there, y'know,” he commented. “We thought we'd leave the heavy lifting to the pros, huh?” 

“You were working with Juanita and Liam?” Tifa asked, surprised. “Why? Does Zack even know you guys are involved with the Turks?” 

Juanita, at this point, was standing next to the helicopter. “Probably not,” she commented, looking up as the last of the Turks, the fair Elena, appeared at the doorway. Juanita raised a hand up to help her down. “He never had the opportunity to meet my wife, after all. Glad to see you made it safely, sweetheart.” 

Elena smiled, accepting the offered hand and climbing down. “Of course we did,” she replied, standing up on her tiptoes to kiss Juanita on the cheek without the cut. “We're the Turks.” 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that there is a good deal of violence and a lot of blood in this chapter.

Cloud was searching, methodically, the Ultima sword in his hands cutting through steel as though it was cardboard, steadfast and deadly. Zack had pointed him this way, but where? And why couldn't he feel Jenova himself, when she was affecting Zack so strongly? Could Lillith have been right about him after all?

In Nibelheim, and much later inside the Shinra Building, Cloud had seen how Shinra had preserved Jenova. She floated in a tank of sorts with some clear liquid running through it, a dozen cables hooked to her body to harness her power or to keep her alive or whatever they were doing to her. He knew that the container which housed her would likely be much smaller now, considering that Hojo could only possibly still have her head at this point. But despite that, he didn't see anything.

He was moving frantically, terrified for Zack. She was going to hurt him, and he couldn't let that happen.

He had been ignoring the fiery pain building up inside his chest for a long while now, but the agony was intensifying the closer he got. That just meant he was on the right track, though, as far as he was concerned. He kept one hand on his sword hilt and the other over his stomach as he searched for that tube or container or whatever that would have Jenova in it.

In frustration, Cloud slashed a bookshelf in two, spilling vials and jars of weird concoctions onto the floor. It didn't actually make him feel better, nor had he found Jenova.

“You brutish idiot,” Hojo snarled from just behind him. Cloud whirled, his vision blurring for a second. With Zack on the floor on the other side of the room, there was no one watching the scientist. “My samples! Was this truly necessary?”

“Tell me where she is,” Cloud grated out, his hand on his sword trembling a little. Everything was a little bit hazy, and he knew he had to hurry.

“You have it, don't you,” Hojo commented, ignoring the sword pointing in his direction. “Interesting! I thought you'd be immune.”

“You _did_ do this then,” Cloud snapped.

“Of course I did. How could I pass up the opportunity? I've been trying to study the virus Jenova used to kill the Cetra for years,” Hojo retorted. “It wasn't difficult to 'persuade' her to try again, although I hardly possess the facilities either of you do--or did, at least--to communicate with her.”

It was all Cloud could do to keep himself from cutting Hojo's head off right there. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down, and then he started coughing again instead.

“My, my. That didn't sound overly healthy,” Hojo commented, putting his hand on his chin.

“Shut up,” Cloud managed. “I could kill you in a half a second.”

“But you won't. You need me alive to make your precious antidote, hmm?” the scientist commented. “What a terrible position that puts you in. There is no cure or antidote. But perhaps I could figure something out--if I had a live test subject, that is.”

Cloud shuddered, his entire body reacting in revulsion at the very idea. The air smelled like Mako and blood and electricity, and it was cool, just like the lab, and now he was alone. Zack couldn't help him now, not with Jenova fucking with his head. Cloud was alone against Hojo, and he didn't know how to deal with this. His heart was pounding in his chest, and his head felt light and airy, and it was very hard to breathe in a way that had nothing to do with the state of his lungs.

But it wasn't the same as before. He wasn't the weak cadet that had been taken to the lab from the Nibelheim reactor anymore. He was strong and whole and he had a fucking huge sword. Hojo was at his mercy, and he didn't _have_ to let that man take him back to the lab again. All he had to do was say no. Hojo was alone. There was no one here to force him to do what he didn't want to do.

“Fuck off,” he stated, and it felt very good.

“Oh? I could save your life, you know,” Hojo replied. “And the information I retain from your body would do wonders toward saving all your ill friends.” He had that insidious smile on his face again, and it made Cloud want to throw up.

“You could use anybody with it for that,” Cloud spat vehemently.

“What if I were to refuse to help unless it was you? Would you sacrifice humanity on your selfish whims?” Hojo asked. “Could you really live with yourself knowing that it was all your fault?”

Cloud gritted his teeth. Hojo wasn't agreeing to help them. He was offering to torture Cloud again, as the price of his help to ensure humanity's survival. Hojo didn't have any morals or inhibitions. It wouldn't bother him to watch the world suffer when he could help it. He had manufactured the disease that was plaguing them in the first place.

From the other side of the cavernous hideout, there came the sound of Zack mumbling something.

“Where is Jenova?” Cloud asked again, his voice low. He wasn't agreeing to anything right now. First, he needed to save Zack.

Hojo smiled and shook his head. “I should have expected as much from a failure,” he commented.

Cloud let the blade his sword fall to the ground and stepped forward without thinking about it, his right fist connecting with bone-crushing force into Hojo's face. The scientist didn't stand a chance. He fell backwards, landing flat on his back a few feet away. His nose was crushed and his glasses in pieces, and he was left blinking dazedly at the ceiling.

Cloud shook his hand out and turned the other way, hefting his sword again. He was still wheezing from the coughing fit earlier, but he didn't have time to deal with that right now. First he had to find Jenova and help Zack.

It took a bit more searching to find a nondescript door hidden behind a mostly empty bookshelf that seemed to have been only recently pushed over to hide it. There was a round window in the door with a faint greenish glow coming through it, and it lacked a handle.

That had never stopped Cloud before. He bisected the door with his sword and stepped through.

The secret room was mostly dark, except for the bluish green glow coming from the raised glass tube at the far end of the room. The walls were lined with cables and consoles, buttons flashing slightly in the dim light. The light emitting from the glass tube at the far end of the room was the only thing lighting it. There she was, within the tube, all that was left of her. Her head, that was all, one glowing red eye staring sightlessly at him, her head affixed with tentacle like tubes affixed to that familiar half helmet that spelled her name out.

Finally. This would be over.

Cloud lifted his sword to smash the glass. His blade hit steel.

“Wha...?”

He blinked at the figure in front of him, raising its own sword against him. It took him a moment--everything was getting harder to process, which probably meant he was bleeding--but he soon realized that it was Zack in front of him, face impassive, his normally expressive eyes flashing a vivid Mako green and his pupils reduced to cat-like slits, as he wielded Buster against Cloud.

Behind Zack, within the glass tube, Jenova was smiling.

“Zack?” Cloud asked, surprised, as his blade bounced uselessly off of Buster's bulk. He staggered back a few steps and coughed harshly.

Zack's face crumpled for a moment, the blue touching his eyes again. “I--can't, she--Cloud--get out,” he managed before he was heaving Buster again, over his head, to come down for a killing blow.

They were an even match on a good day, and today wasn't really very good, at least in Cloud's estimation. He wasn't going to be able to go up against Zack with an open stomach wound and a punctured lung. He managed to deflect Zack's blow, but the impact felt like it was shattering his arm. He stumbled back, onto the ground, and scooted backwards, away from the tube, as fast as he could. There was no way he could fight Zack. His only option was retreat.

But Jenova didn't want him around any longer. Cloud barely had time to pick himself up off the floor and escape back into the main room before Zack was on him again, his blade crashing against Cloud's. Cloud was forced to adjust his grip for this battle. He didn't stand a chance if he didn't have both hands on the hilt of his weapon. Zack was far too strong for him to fight without a proper grip on the sword.

His mind was reeling. He was giving ground, but he had nowhere to go, nowhere to escape that Zack, and therefore Jenova, wouldn't find him. And there was no way he could raise his blade against Zack offensively, even if he thought he could win. This wasn't Zack right now, but it was still his body. Zack was still in there somewhere.

How had he won last time? He hadn't been trying to hurt Zack when they sparred, but he had managed to disarm him. Right, a kick to his jaw had sent him backwards, and Zack had lost grip on the hilt of his sword. If Cloud could manage to do something like that again, it would give him maybe a few seconds to get back to Jenova and kill her before Zack could do anything about it.

The cavern room was essentially a giant circle with the reactor in the center of it, so Cloud steadily gave ground, backing his way around the machinery. Zack's hits were coming hard and heavy, and Cloud's arms were jarred and fatigued. If this was going to work, it had to be fast.

He looked around for an opening, for something that would give him an out. Zack hit hard, but he was slow, and Buster was heavy. Cloud had the speed advantage, and he knew it. But on ground like this, with Cloud injured, a slight speed boost wasn't going to help him all that much. The only thing it was giving him was allowing him to save his energy by dodging blows rather than parrying them. But he was on the defense entirely. Even if Zack had been replaced by an enemy he had no qualms about killing, Cloud wasn't sure he'd be able to step up onto the offense under an assault like this.

New strategy, then. “Come on, Zack, snap out of it!” he shouted. “It's me! It's Cloud! Don't let her use you like this!”

Zack's response was a crossways cut that would have bisected him shoulder to hip had he not blocked it.

Okay. That had failed spectacularly.

Zack jumped back from that and then took a running jump against the central column, running up it for a few steps before catapulting himself off of it, twirling in midair with his sword ahead of him like an arrow headed straight for Cloud's chest. Cloud leapt into the air to evade at the last second, but the jump was poorly executed because of his condition, and he tumbled back down to the ground, head over heels. It was a bad position and it had jarred his stomach badly, but he had dodged the attack.

The problem was that now he was an easy target for Zack's next attack. He lay flat on his back, bringing his sword up to deflect the blow that he knew was coming.

And Zack did not disappoint. But Cloud still had his speed. As Zack lined up for a second attack, not intending to let Cloud up, he rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding the hit. Zack wasn't expecting that, and the impact with the metal left him just slightly off kilter. Cloud used that split second to roll to his feet, and then Zack was on him again.

Zack was unrelenting in his attacks. His face was impassive, eyes glowing strangely with the wrong color, and Cloud shuddered when he looked into them, reminded too closely of Sephiroth's catlike gaze. This battle was far different than any of his battles with Sephiroth, though. He hadn't been handicapped with the burden of friendship and love when he had fought with Sephiroth, after all. Maybe sheer terror and a bit of hero worship, sure, but that was nothing like what he felt now. Here, Cloud was terrified of making the wrong move, of inadvertently hurting Zack, even though in this state, he was unlikely to even get a single hit.

Buster's wide blade clashed again and again against the Ultima sword's bulk, showering the both of them with sparks. Cloud was slowing down, and he knew it. He dodged as much as possible to avoid the extra strain that parrying was putting on his weakened body. He couldn't keep this up for much longer, and Zack was absolutely unrelenting. “Zack, stop it!” he pleaded, hoping that somehow, he could reach Zack deep down, beyond Jenova's control. “Fight her!”

“Mother has no further use for you,” Zack replied, flatly. His voice sounded strange, devoid of all the emotion he normally wore so openly.

A long time ago, Jenova had taken control of Cloud almost entirely up in the strange stone amphitheater that made up the center of the Forgotten City. In the center, Aeris had knelt on the altar, praying to the Planet in order to summon Holy. Cloud remembered approaching her. He hadn't meant to unsheathe his sword. He hadn't meant to raise it above his head, and--

But he hadn't. He had caught himself in time, jerked out of her control before he could be the one to spill her blood on that altar. He hadn't killed Aeris, and he had to believe that Zack wouldn't kill him. He just had to give Zack the time to overcome this, or be the one to destroy Jenova himself.

And they were nearing the doorway where Jenova was imprisoned again, having gone all the way back around in a circle around the central pillar. If Cloud was going to make his move, it had to be now.

He ducked under a long sideways cut and then leapt straight up into the air. The reactor's cables lined the ceiling like a spider web, reaching down the center column to just about four meters from the ground. He snagged one with one hand, holding his sword still in the other, and dangled just for a moment as Zack blinked in surprise before he swung forward and let go. He spun in the air, landing behind Zack in a low crouch, and then he kicked upwards even as Zack spun around.

His foot hit steel. Zack had anticipated the attack and blocked him with Buster, and the impact was enough that Cloud could feel his ankle bones snap out of place. Then Zack shoved him back, and he flew through the air. He struggled to right himself, landing with hiss of pain in a low crouch that sent burning pain up his entire leg.

Zack was on him before he could even react. He felt a booted foot impact with his jaw, and he was flying back again. He crashed into a wall of computers in a shower of sparks, the sword knocked out of his grip. He slid to the ground, thoroughly winded.

Even then, he didn't get respite. Before he could even sink the whole way to the floor, there was a sickening pain in his gut, and he opened his eyes to realize Zack had driven the tip of Buster right through him in roughly the same place Sephiroth had all those years ago. Except Buster was a lot wider than the Masamune, and the damage was even more severe. It was also sideways, perpendicular to the scar he'd gotten from Sephiroth, pressed up just underneath his rib cage.

“Z...Zack,” Cloud mumbled, feeling the blood bubbling up in his throat. He wondered if Zack was going to remember this later, or if it would all vanish in a haze of forgetfulness. He hardly remembered the things he had done when under Jenova's influence. He hoped, fervently, that this would be one of those things Zack would not remember. But if it wasn't....

“Zack. It's...it's okay.”

He groaned as the metal slid out of him, sliding to the floor and pressing his hands automatically to the wound to stem the blood flow. It was a useless gesture, even for a Mako enhanced super soldier, but it was reflex. The metallic taste of blood was strong on his tongue, and he coughed weakly. When he looked up at Zack, he realized he was looking at blue eyes again.

“No. No! What did I do!?” Zack demanded, his expression breaking into one of horror and panic. Buster dropped to the ground with a heavy clatter. “No! Fuck. FUCK! Cloud, no, don't--I can--I didn't--”

“I know,” Cloud told him, slowly. He coughed again, gagging on his own blood. “It wasn't you.”

Zack knotted his hands in his hair, his eyes filled with heavy tears. “Oh my god. I can't--Cloud, what do I do? How can I fix this? I--I--I--”

“I...I got Mako, Zack. I'm not dead yet,” Cloud said insistently, even though he didn't have much hope. Not when he was also infected. “Get rid of Jenova. Then come back and we'll...figure something out.”

“Jenova...Jenova...I _can't_ ,” Zack cried. “It isn't--she's--she wasn't even trying to--she was just living her life, it isn't her _fault_ that she...fuck. FUCK. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” He tugged uselessly at his hair, as if that would rid himself of her influence.

“You gotta be the one to kill her. I can't.” Cloud coughed again, and then reached up with a blood covered hand to take one of Zack's. “You can. I believe in you. Okay?”

Zack was staring at him, eyes clouded with tears and wide with panic.

“You can do it,” Cloud mumbled. “I know you can.”

There was a long silence, and a little bit of that panic dispelled. Slowly, Zack nodded. He brought Cloud's hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles gently. “Okay,” he murmured, still holding his hand. “Leave it to me.”

\--

Cloud's vision was graying slightly as he watched Zack disappear into the door that led to Jenova's tiny room. He realized, somewhat hazily, that this was the last time he was going to see the man he loved. He wished for a moment that he had said something else when he had had the chance...but really, what could he say? Zack knew everything he needed to know.

Even if Zack did it, even if he was able to overcome the voice in his mind and kill her, even if he was able to save everyone who hadn't contracted the disease yet, Cloud still had it. There wasn't a cure. Containing Jenova had only been a way to keep the disease from spreading, in the past. Unless Hojo was lying and there was a cure, this was it. He wouldn't even live long enough to find out if Zack made it out alive, probably.

The thought made him angry. Life had finally become something good, something positive and enjoyable, something he _wanted_ , and he didn't want to die. He had told Zack just this morning he wouldn't leave. And now...

Cloud balled up one of his fists as tight as he could. Goddamn it, he was going to trust Zack.

He didn't notice exactly when his eyelids fluttered closed, or how long he rested there, eyes shut and breathing ragged and uneven. He did notice, however, when he felt cold fingers lift one of his hands and press against his wrist. Someone was...checking his pulse?

He was very tired, but...was it Zack? It had to be Zack. Who else...?

But it wasn't Zack he saw when he forced his eyes open. It was Hojo.

Without even a second's time to consider it, Cloud had yanked his hand from the scientist's grip and instead snapped his hand up to Hojo's neck. Even this close to death, even choking on his own blood bubbling up within his lungs, even suffering from a deadly epidemic, Hojo was no match for Cloud in strength. His face, still bloody and bruised, with his nose misshapen and his glasses broken, looked surprised as Cloud cut off his air supply, and his hands scrabbled uselessly against Cloud's fingers.

“Don't....don't even _think_ about it,” Cloud spat.

Hojo's reply was nothing but a choked gurgling sound.

When Cloud's grip loosened, it was only due to the fatigue of holding him like this after losing so much blood. Hojo gasped for breath, and his mouth twisted into an expression of disgust, still trying to pry Cloud's fingers from his neck.

“Give me...give me one good reason...I shouldn't kill you right now,” Cloud managed.

“I can help you,” Hojo replied.

“You've never helped... _anybody_ in your entire...goddamn...life.”

“Come now. I've--”

Cloud closed Hojo's throat off again in a flash of anger. He wasn't interested in Hojo's justifications for his life. Nothing he could say would ever change anything, or fix what he had done.

Hojo wasn't about to give up, though. Cloud's grip was tenuous in this condition, and the scientist dropped a hand down to his pocket. When it came free again, Cloud could see a syringe closed in his fist, and attached to it, a capped needle.

Cloud didn't need further provocation. His mind unhelpfully flashed back to the lab, strapped down to that table, screaming until his throat was raw, as this very man leaned over him with a needle just like this one. He wasn't about to wait to see what was in it. His fist clenched tighter around Hojo's neck, and he leaned forward enough to get enough leverage to throw the scientist as far as he could, away from him.

Blood poured from his wound at an alarming rate, and he crossed his arms over his stomach again. Ten feet away, Hojo, groaned, flat on his back, winded and hurt, but not dead. The syringe, that Cloud could now tell was empty, rolled from his hand.

Cloud groaned slightly as he leaned over, his hand reaching for the handle of his sword. He managed to snag it on the third try, and he dragged it slowly further into his grip. He was not going to sit here unarmed. Even if he wasn't sure he had the strength to lift it at the moment.

“You...are not....indispensable,” he spat venomously, even as Hojo lifted his head slightly.

“Perhaps not,” Hojo replied, sitting up slowly and carefully. He was out of Cloud's reach, even with the sword, but that also meant Cloud was out of _his_ reach. “But I am patient, and you are bleeding out. How long do you think it will take before you lose consciousness again?”

Cloud hated that Hojo was right. He was lacking the energy even to formulate an appropriate response to the doctor, to articulate that he would sooner take his own life than to go back and be a test subject willingly. But still, Zack was still near, even if Jenova had control over his mind again. Once Jenova had what she wanted, then maybe Zack could...Zack would kill Cloud himself rather than let anything happen to him again. He had to believe that.

But his vision was darkening again, and it was getting so very hard to keep his grip on the handle of the sword he wasn't sure he could lift anymore. The adrenaline keeping him going was fading. There was blood everywhere, so much blood, and he was so cold, so tired...

His mind flashed back three or so years, and the pain coursing through his body intensified as he remembered the solid wooden table firm beneath his back, the metal bands securing his wrists and ankles. His back was arching with each new shock of pain to his system, and even with his eyes squinted closed as tightly as he could manage, he could tell Hojo was leaning over him. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't remember his voice, and his throat was raw.

Zack...Zack, he wanted Zack, he needed Zack here...what had Zack taught him to do? To close off his mind to the torture, to let his mind slide somewhere else during the worst of it. He'd never been very good at that, despite ample opportunities to practice.

He was cold, and he hurt, and he wanted more than anything just to slide into unconsciousness. He knew it was a bad idea, but he couldn't remember why. Present and past were sliding together as one, and when he forced his eyes open and saw Hojo leaning over him again, it didn't even matter. Even if he had realized he wasn't actually chained to the table, he wouldn't have been able to heft his sword to defend himself anyway.

He stopped fighting then, finally, and welcomed the darkness as it overtook him.

**Author's Note:**

> Lillith and Kale based off of characters made up by my friend, Jadedsilk (jadedsilk.tumblr.com), and they were used with permission.


End file.
